Hi there,
Sorry to butt in,but I am trying to find out stuff and going round in circles not quite getting anywhere,so I thought I would be brave and ask!
I have been taking ethylphenidate now for 24 days and know I'm building tolerance fast by the amount I am doing(over 500mg per day) and the effects,or rather lack of,but it is helping me get up in the morning,it has got rid of the horrible lethargy cannot be bothered to do anything that is not necessary feeling I have been having.
I'm just over 40,married with 2 teenage kids,and now thanks to complications developed when an alcoholic,disabled,mentally and physicaly.I haven't had a drink for nearly 3 years now though.I have no friends,either on line or in person,a Hubby who is now,thanks to his own medical problems,a depressed PS3 addict who is trying to block out the shitty life we have to endure every day.I cannot go out on my own,in fact I hate going out,I do everything too slow for even my own liking and try to blot out the perpetual pain that is always,always,ready to remind me what I shitty fuck up I am with various prescribed painkillers.Depressed?ever so slightly,but no one gives a crap.Thanks to having major surgery on my ankle,I live upstairs,venturing down to cook every now and again,Hubby lives,sleeps,eats and breathes 99% of the time downstairs.It never used to be like this and I wish for those days again.I think that is enough of the picture for you to get the idea,I'm trying to show you.
Anyway,bored out of my skull,I was watching old programmes when one about 'legal highs' from a few years ago was on,and as I have used speed in the past it got my attention.I had a look on line,found out a bit more,discovered RC's and ordered some.I wasn't expecting much,but was feeling reckless.Or just plain stupid.I am not too sure yet.
My first little weeny 500mg lot arrived.WOW!!! was I surprised.It was just like the speed of old days!OK,it stung a lot,but fuck me!!There where tingles in my head,I felt awake,ALIVE!I was resurrected!!So I ordered more......then again a few days later(just quality control)..and again(its the weekend soon).....then again(I deserve a treat) then...you guessed it..AGAIN (last one for a bit) and so my old friend addiction was back.I was justifying it to myself 100%.No one suspected anything,Hubby keeps odd hours anyway with his gaming,the kids are either out or asleep before me and I am normally just quiet anyway.I was never asleep before 4 am,or up before 10am,Hubby getting up even as late as 3pm if he has had yet another night of shit sleep,despite us both popping a Zolpiderm at night.I was able to blend in,and still am.No one knows...except you guys and my laptop.
So I did the stupid thing and bought in bulk.I could ration myself to about 500mg a day,split into 4 or 5,I said.It is so cheap I would be silly not to,I said.I am in control,I said.Then I saw three pigs fly past my window,if you get what I mean.
Now I see myself as in trouble,in the last few days I have noticed my intake of EPH up,weight down(well I could afford to lose a little)appetite non existent and rationing going up and up.So maybe I should now think about damage limitation.
I do sleep about5/6 hours every night,eat breakfast every day,and glug fruit smoothies through the rest of the time even if I don't drink as much water as I was.I am happy about my weight loss,I was trying to lose weight,but thanks to a love of night time snacking on the usual crisps,sweets and chocolate biscuits, I was not.Now I have a draw full of untouched snacks.I have learnt not to try and put it up my nose,the pain was out weighing the pleasure,even though the initial hit is sorely missed,and I can only 'have a bad cold' for so long.Besides,it is easier and safer to share some out and swallow it instead of mirrors and whatnot.
So to finally.. (I am sorry that went on for so long,but I wanted to fill you in.And imagine how long it took me to type,I am a slow typist even now!)Questions!
1.Are there any vitamins or supplements recommended for either enhancing or making the comedown less painful?I have seen a little about something called 5-HTP,and it seems like it either helps or you see no difference.Anyone taken/taking it with good effect?I am currently taking thiamine,calcium,cod liver oil and a multivitamin,and just ordered some vitamin B complex,glutamine and magnesium with the weekly shop.Any thoughts would be great to hear.
2.Sertraline,does it help or hinder the effects of EPH when I was already taking it.I was in the process of cutting down,without telling my Dr,from 50mg to 25mg.Some days I would forget to take it,so I don't think I was that dependant on it,but have been taking it on and off for about 10 years.I know it takes longer than that to do its work,but my mood was fairly stable.
3.Sub lingual protection.Last week,I stuck to my ration for once,and put it down to taking it this way....but then the blisters appeared and I had bit of my mouth coming away every time I tried to speak and have been eating Bonjela like a demon.It is just too sore.Is there anything that can be done to help prevent this happening cos I think the effect otherwise was good.At the moment I just stick it on my tongue and swallow,quite enjoying the sweet,sweet taste of chemicals.Ever since my first encounter with speed,anything remotely chemical is fine by me.
4.Does anyone know if there are any interactions with the following that I should be aware of?Pregabalin,codeine,slow release dihydrocideine,naproxen,omeprazole and zolpiderm.I take all but Naproxen every day,and that only every so often for a week or so.
I am so sorry to of babbled on for so long,but felt to get anywhere you had to know the basics of me.I do know I am being stupid,I should never of got the first lot,and should of known that I could not control it as well as I thought I could.
But I feel alive again.
I have finished projects that where started years ago,silly thing like gave myself a proper manicure,without skipping bits,I pay more attention to detail.Also I am better at crosswords.I'm not dreading waking up as I was,or getting so depressed when Hubby is so into whatever he is doing he doesn't speak to me for hours/ignores me/doesn't hug me when he says goodnight.I have brilliant chats with my son (who constantly looks in a state of stimulants,but I know 110% he is not)and am listening to my daughters world of her,her,and oh her when she wants to.I smoke less (hands too busy)take less painkillers because I get so wrapped up in,say,crosswords I forget they have eased off,it's only when I go to stand up again,and wonder why it hurts so much that I realise that I should of taken them an hour ago.And lets just say I might of taken one or two more than I should of at least....8 times a day.
I know it cannot last,and things will go back to how they where,probably worse,but for now I am,I suppose compared to how I felt before meeting EPH....content!And I cannot remember when I last felt that

.
So for now,if anyone has any answers to the above,or can point me in the right direction it would be great,thanks.