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The end of my 2 year taper; Depression...

fivelinefury

fivelinefury

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 25, 2006
Messages
1,171
Location
Melbourne, AUSTRALIA
Hi everyone. If this post is in the wrong spot, feel free to move it mods.

Some ppl may remember me from a while ago on BL. I've just come back on ere now from being depressed :!

Its been only about a fortnight completely off benzos, after my 2 year long taper off a huge diazepam addiction for years. I am no longer getting any withdrawal effects (that are noticeable anyway), but just feel my depression is never going to get better. I know this might sound the same as alot of other people battling depression and my thoughts are with you all, but i'm just wondering if anyone has some ideas for me to help myself.

I am on 200mg zoloft in the morning and 25-50mg seroquel at night. These are to aid my General Anxiety Disorder, Social Phobia, Depression. About a year ago now I was self harming at times and had suicidal thoughts, but can happily say that this is no longer the case, except my depression, and sometimes anxiety is terrible, and hope to "not go that far backwards" again.

I must admit that I currently take way too much codeine and drink alcohol on a nightly basis, especially the nights I don't see my girlfriend, and feel all the codeine and some paracetamol/alcohol is killing my insides some days, and at times think it would be OK to go back to "a small amount" of diazepam, because I know it would help me heaps, but I know that it would never be a small amount. And for me, stopping benzos is nothing like stopping smoking for example. Now I could never smoke again because its gross to me, but with benzos, its a different story so its hard.

Any help to deal with this would be greatly appreciated. Cheers everyone.
 
Five, my heart goes out to you. I know exactly what it feels like to have the feeling that depression will never leave. I've been unhappy for most of my adult life and come to the conclusion many times that suicide is the only answer. I can't really give you any life changing advice but I can tell you that your not alone an that it is fantastic that you've stopped benzos and got help for your depression. Despise my lack experiences with opiates, I believe I was psychologically addicted and that if I could find them that I would be an addict by now. But in time that craving to get high went and I sometimes go a whole day without thinking about it now and its like I've been set free. Hopefully this will be the case for you and benzos also. Good luck and let me know if you want to talk
 
You are only 2 weeks off a long benzo habit so it is completely understandable to be depressed. Diazepam has a long half life and after 14 days it is just now getting completely out of your system. You really should avoid going back on because you have to kick eventually and it's not going to get any easier. The best thing you can do right now is focus on things like diet, exercise, and proper nutrition. It sounds cliche but it makes a world of difference.

You can get through this, I was on benzos for 10 years and thought I would never be able to get off them. Withdrawal was a bitch but I don't even think about benzos anymore.
 
I did not have an enjoyable time coming off of sertraline, and I felt that it ultimately wasn't helping me out much (emotionally limited affect - this can help you process emotions better but in terms of having a life, it doesn't help at all) - it's possible for medications to have the opposite effect than they should have, this is normally called a paradoxical reaction.

If the medications are working for you, then I wouldn't advise you not to take them of course. Just try to be objective in judging which medications are worth it. :)

Sometimes just being able to talk to people about how you feel can help a lot too.
 
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