the end of everything...

[chrissy]

i wrote this as i feel the end is near for me. cant take this anymore. i need liberation in some form or another. and i feel this is the only way to go.


The end of everything


The chords of my heart cry out in D minor
My soul has had its day;
Beyond the shelter of the hands that held me
I am lost and without cause;
The last note has been played.


Hurting and wanting to be wanted
Something I have craved;
Now so clear that only death can satisfy.
My soul thirsts for release
Into darkness and emptiness I further descend.


The clarity of my being
Is veiled in obscurity
My presence, my life;
Unrecognised.


If only you could see me now,
You’d be blinded by my thoughts
Don’t speak, I can just show you:
Crucified and resurrected
I no longer stand corrected.


The world has been my sole oyster
But now I want to vacate premises.
The darkest mountain will witness-
My fall.


Suppressed dreams, emotions and love
Now will come full circle;
And I will no longer have to live…
In a rectangle.


Enclosed, hiding and never revealing
Myself
I stop for a final look in the
Mirror.
Me.


Time has weathered me
Nothing can fix and patch
A fake smile sprouts and
I find myself laughing at my misfortune;
It’s the happiest day of my life.


Self-realisations are hard to come by
But I have been met with an abundance;
Everyone gives up
Slowly
But surely


So it’s my turn
To turn my back
No longer caring about consequences,
It’s time to take it all
Standing tall- finally winning.


The thought of never breathing again
The thought of no future
No family
No lover…
No more sunshine days


The thought that everything I ever created
Will be lost
Forgotten
Misplaced
Or unimportant to be important and remembered.


This is, finally and fortunately, the end of everything.

 

[Dastrix Slogan]

Sometimes its only at the end of the road do we find that it is not the one we should have been travelling on! Hope all isn't as it seems - PM me if you need to!

 

[chrissy]

thanks heaps babe.

 

[spun_in_wonderland]

Moving and evocative chrissy. I agree with Dastrix Slogan. It's time to choose another path love. I assure you, your life is not unrecognized. You effect people everyday with your smiles and frowns and all the expressions in between. Reflect on the people who love you and learn to appreciate that deeply. In times like this you tend to forget certain things all too easily.

And, chrissy? You may cringe to hear me say this, but God knows and loves you and wants to show you that this is so.

We all get tired but remember people do care for other people, even randoms on message boards. We're all in this together, the wise ones will do whatever they can to help another along.

I wish you the best. Do take care. Much love to my fellow being.

 

[lostNfound]

Chrissy, wow.
made think abit about where i am at the moment.
I've learnt that time and change are crucial to our personal development as human beings.
I also feel I'm at a stage where I really need to make some changes in my life about who I am, what I want, wher I'm going. you know, all the important things.
Good to see you can voice it, read it look over your thoughts and understand where you're at.
Maybe it's just time to re-evaluate hwo you are and make some changes

 

[kazza_baby]

that was beautiful, while at the same time sad.
very evocative to me personally.
i love you sweety, you're a beautiful person.
i hope you find peace soon.

 

[lostNfound]

chrissy - empty you PM box

 

[chrissy]

done