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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The EADD Mental Health Support Thread

Hehe I edited a lot while you posted your post Sammy G, I tend to do that when writing long and rambling posts..

But yes, please. A hug would be great <3
 
Granted, no hesitation whatsoever. Your edits are always worth the wait too. ;)

Go easy on the lower left ribs though, yeah? Marmalade likes to punch me there so it's a little sore. <3
 
Hehe will do. Sorry if that post was a little intense. Mental health has been on my mind for a while, for various reasons! I'm doing okay though, once NYE is out the way (spent it with Dave last year just us two in my flat so it's a particularly tricky time) I'm going to be making a fresh start :)
 
I can totally understand that from a personal perspective. Mental health is a massive issue in my life too, yet it's ridiculous how frequently it's either swept under the carpet or misunderstood.

That said, d'you want another hug?

I run out of superlatives for the way you've handled yourself and I'm sure you've had enough good intentions that they become almost grating and you want to get back to 'normal'. And yet, Effie, how do you do it? <3

Force of nature? I reckon. ;)

Just keep on.
 
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I really feel for you effie <3 nye will be difficult for you I know, bereavement is a terrible thing, but it's important to grieve, it's part of 'moving on' when I lost my grandparents I was so upset and I still cry about it from time to time, that was 8 years ago now, I try to hold on to all the good memories.

More recently I lost my best friend to heroin, still think about him everyday, but as time goes on it gets a little easier to deal with.

It's been a year and a half since my last psychotic episode, which resulted in being sectioned, don't really want to go into it but the good thing is that my mental health is a lot more stable now!

Much love to you effie, try and surround yourself with close friends or family on new years, if you feel like socialising! I really wish you all the best <3
 
I do it, SG, because there really is no alternative :) is that simple. I'm not too sure how I've done it either to be honest, it's been hell and a complete blur really, didn't see anyone for 2 weeks at one point after visiting Dave's grave, didn't eat for days, still off work, still spend days in bed crying, etc etc.. I think me posting and modding and suchlike gives a false impression of how I am. BL is what keeps me sane, it's my place to come and just be effie, not heartbroken-effie-who's-whole-world-has-fallen-apart. Except I've blown my cover a bit now haven't I, hah. Dammit ;)

I am getting there though. I'll be back in Briz soon and seeing my mates rather than hiding away, and I'll be back at work soon hopefully. Time for some routine again I think, it's been 4 months now, crazy.. And I am having more good days, and I am making progress. Think I've finally accepted that I will never ever understand it, which has helped, and finally let go of the idea that I can't possibly carry on without him. Well, kind of. That bit is a work in progress to be honest, haha.. but I'm trying. It's amazing what you can do when you have no choice..

Sory, I've hijacked the thread! Carry on :)

edit: Acidtek, thank you <3 I am so sorry to hear about your friend.. if you ever fancy a chat, shoot me a pm. I can be a bit slow at replying but I will get there! Really glad your mental health is more stable now, that's ace :)

I'm ignoring NYE this year, its just too much, staying at my parents', probably be in bed before midnight hah.. just can't face it. But I'll be back and socialising once NYE is out of the way I hope, I miss my friends <3

Wow, I used a few too many smileys there I think. Better to smile than cry though so I'll use another one :)
 
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Hugs to all in this thread that need one. Whilst I don't have any problems personally, it gives me great strength to see people that do willing to discuss them on BL and taking them in their stride. Kudos, and I'm glad there's somewhere that discussions like this can exist without stereotypical negative reaction.
 
Sory, I've hijacked the thread! Carry on :)

Nah, if you'd hijacked the thread I would've banned you.

Ah, you deserve more than just a skinny creep's hugs. I think you deserve a drink from everyone in EADD. I know it's going to take a long time to build your world up again, and it's going to look very different but we have a lot of people who'd be only too happy to lend a hand in letting you build it. <3

And the best thing I can do right now is this. Wish I could do more, but that's about as good as I do.

Please just carry on.
 
Effie, your not hi jacking the thread <3 this is a good thread to talk about difficulties that we are having

My thoughts are with you effie at these hard times

Don't be too hard on yourself chinup, your not the only one in this thread that have self induced problems as you put it, my last psychotic episode started with a stim binge! Drugs and mental health problems don't mix, even though they seem to go hand in hand!

Effie I might take you up on your pm offer! I don't want to off load my problems on you when your going through such a hard time though! Take care <3
 
Chinup, my depression was definitely brought on and hugely exacerbated by things like not taking my meds and taking too many drugs, hah. Beating ourselves up over causing our mental health issues is only going to make them worse; it doesn't matter what caused it, and I am sure there is a lot more to it than we tend to think - we are always our own worst critics and are harshest to ourselves... but that's in the past, what matters is dealing with it in the present - and being kind to yourself <3

Also, don't compare what you are going through to what I am going through - everythng is relative to your own experiences. Until Dave died, the worst thing that had happened to me was get dumped, and I felt like my world was ending then! It is all relative. What matters to you matters to you, don't feel that it is diminished compared to someone else's issues. Um, not sure if that made sense or not, but can't think how to explain it better <3

I'm not a very strong person - I have always relied on others to prop me up - yet I've somehow managed to get through 4 months since my boyfriend died so I would like that to give others hope though, that you really can get through anything, no matter how impossible it seems! I remember seeing people who had lost their partner and thinking my god, there is no way I could cope with that, ever. And I haven't coped wonderfully, haha, but I have got through it so far and I will keep going, and you all will too. Just one day at a time, or one breath at a time somtimes, you will get there.

Acidtek - please do! Helping others helps me, that's why I applied for TDS mod after Dave died! Ive had a bad spell lately, so haven't been communicating with anyone at all really, but am coming out of it now so please do feel free to pm me if you would like to! No pressure though :)
 
Effie you are so right about people's problems are all relative, I've been talking to a friend about it recently, someone's worst experience is only as bad as someone else's!

I do have a lot to talk about that I don't feel comfortable talking about in public, so be expecting a pm effie <3

What's the TDS like, is it generally a friendly bunch?
 
Very friendly :) extremely supportive and some incredibly wise people there too, I've learnt a lot modding it! Off to bed now but shall attempt to reply to you tomorrow Acidtek - but don't be offended if I don't, I'm on a bit of a go-slow at the moment, but I will get there in the end :) take care <3
 
Haha. I wouldn't say I have kept it together, not in the slightest really, had to come back to my parents cos I basically wasn't leaving my bedroom or seeing anyone or even eating in Bristol.. but I'm still here, am trying to get back on my feet - things can fall apart completely but they can be put back togther again as long as we just keep going. Fresh start in the new year :)

And yeah, the blaming yourself for the mental health issues, whatever they are, does tend to be part of the whole issue.. it's very hard not to but it's really important to try I think, beating yourself up when you're already down is only going to make things worse, and it's not like we'd choose to be like this.. I stopped taking my meds and fucked myself up so many times, jeopardising my career... we are only human, we fuck up. It's okay. It doesn't mean we should blame ourselves (although I know we do) <3

Since Dave died I have really been my own worst enemy, not letting anyone help me at all but completely failing to look after myself.. Hence being back at the parents.. but just got to keep trying ey, I've got this amazing poster on my wall in my flat that says "Hope will find you" and whenever I feel completely hopeless I try to remember that and think that yes, it will. And "this too shall pass" is another good one. In a year's time I'll be in a very different place, and so will you I am sure. As foir 10 years, or 20...

Right now if I'm qute honest I am absolutely terrified about going back to Bristol and trying to make some sort of life without Dave - I think I am coming across as a lot braver and more together than I really am, hah.. but as I said to Sammy G, just got to keep going really, there isn't an alternative. I think getting back to work will help (and I'll be financially fucked if I dont soon too) so I have something to do with days and a sense of purpose, and trying to get back into some kind of routine and social life.. but I am terrified. Dave was my best friend as well as my boyfriend, and he got me through my periods of depression so it's pretty fucking scary having to get through this without him, and I miss him so much. All the time. But yeah, I'm still here, I made it through the awful months of falling apart and hopefully things will get better for me, and for you, and for all of us :) <3

That's what we've got to all think, anyone with mental health issues - we've made it this far, we can keep going, and things will improve. What we are going through makes us stronger, and it really is amazing what we can get through when we have to. One thing I would definitely say is reach out for as much help as you can get - that's the bit I have been finding really hard (never had to reach out, always had Dave there) but there are some things that are too much for us to cope with alone, and it's not a sign of weakness. It's especially hard to reach out if you blame yourself for how you are, because you feel like you aren't deserving of help, but that is not true at all. We all deserve some help if we need it.

Okay, it's 4am and I'm babbling a bit, haha. Going to try to go to sleep (again). Much <3 chinup, I almost fucked up my career many a time by not doing what I needed to do to sort myself out. You're not alone. But you can do it. I would definitely agree with your psychologist - it is hard when there are external pressures, but that just means we don't need extra internal ones too! Try to be kind to yourself. I'm really glad you are seeing a psychologist, I hope it is helping <3

I will stop hijacking the thread now, I definitely am a little! Thanks for listening EADD <3
 
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^I spent boxing day in Swindon, it made me realize that the bitches down there are actually quite cool and not really stuck up etc..blah blah so you'll get out of it given time :).

/worthlesspostofthedayawardgoestome
 
Fancy a hug Effie?

No funny business, I swear. Which isn't much, coming from me like. ;)

Good post. I agree with a lot.


Don't trust him he's just grooming you, it might seem innocent to start with but in the end he will succumb to his inner Satan, but I reckon a swift slap in the chops should reign him back in ;)

I'm feeling brighter today, it just goes to show how things can change yesterday was very dark, if today had been worse I might of had to make a few phone calls or at least get Mrs atm to make some. But I feel the light shinning down from above once more, its still a long way up there from the bottom of this well I find myself in but as long as I can see it I know I'll make it out into the sunshine one day.

@Effie I've kinda felt you wanted to be left alone a bit so layed off the PMs but you are in my thoughts (no not that way Sam you bad man you;)) don't ever hesitate to contact me. I should send you th details of one of my brother in laws Bristol quiz nights, he's a lazy bastard who's never really managed to stand on his own 2 feet financially but he is , without out doubt funny as fek
 
Effie stop saying your hi jacking threads :) You bless them i told you before<3

A decent thread (serious one ) is great when it helps people or just enables em to chat stuff they need to get out. if it is gonna benefit just one person , then i would be really happy if it was you , well anyone of you guys that suffers with the issues that have been coverd.
 
This is intresting , many of the folks i know blame psychedelics for either worstening their menatal helth or setting of under lying issues

I suppose you've got to use them sensibly. Perhaps being a little older makes a difference. I was never interested in drugs till I was 30, then I had a couple of bereavements and found psilocybin was only thing that helped me cope.

But I put psilocybin a bit above the other psychedelics as a cure-all for depression, it does seem to do something to your brain. All positive for me.
 
This is a great thread brimz, it's allowed me to get a lot off my chest and telling people of my illnesses is like having a weight lifted off my shoulders! I haven't even really told my friends about my diagnoses, o tend to isolate myself, I should probably tell them as it would help them to understand my strange behaviour!

Also another great thing about this thread is that I now have effie that I can pm!
 
I'll stand firmly in the pro-psilocybin corner too. It made me realise the value of my friendships, lifted me out of a hopeless, self-destructive mire, gave me a profound insight into how horrible I was capable of being at the time and allowed me to develop a proper relationship with my then-girlfriend, instead of treating her like an expensively-educated teenage blow-up doll.

Alright, so I kind of regret the last one, but there's a lot to be said for psilocybin as a tool for self-exploration. You definitely need to have a clear idea of what you're dealing with though.
 
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