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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

The EADD Mental Health Support Thread

You have to take a firm line with SSRI-pushing docs, Cornish. I played along for a few years and just accepted what I was offerered but none of 'em worked, most made me feel worse, and all had horrible side-effects and/or horrific w/d. Any and all docs I see now know that SSRIs/SNRIs are not an option. You'd think they were the only drugs available for depression (and just about anything else you go in for - minor sniffles, sore throat, stubbed toe, etc). There are plenty other options. It's just that they're not as heavily marketed and don't give the docs so many free pens and mousemats. Some docs' offices I've been in look like an explosion in the GSK marketing department :\
 
How appropriate that this thread should make a re appearance on the front page just 2 days before i have my mandatory appt. with the Psych. Doc.

If i were to answer all his probing questions with the truth i would probably be , well i dread to think . So this makes the whole exercise a waste of his time & mine & his time is "Very Valuable " :\

There are plenty of things i need to tell him but in doing so i'm putting myself at risk . What a load of bollox .
I'm already anxious about this appt. Well i have been for quite a while . It's a horrible feeling that someone has so much power over you despite not really knowing anything about you .
 
brimz said:
How appropriate that this thread should make a re appearance on the front page just 2 days before i have my mandatory appt. with the Psych. Doc.

If i were to answer all his probing questions with the truth i would probably be , well i dread to think . So this makes the whole exercise a waste of his time & mine & his time is "Very Valuable " :\

There are plenty of things i need to tell him but in doing so i'm putting myself at risk . What a load of bollox .
I'm already anxious about this appt. Well i have been for quite a while . It's a horrible feeling that someone has so much power over you despite not really knowing anything about you .
Click to expand...

Any one else out their ever been VIOLATED before ?

I have . Had a few kickins in the past that's life init ?

Well today was worse than any of those kickings .
 
Hey, I'm new =) and thought I'd join in.

I'm bipolar. I wasn't so much labelled with it as I'm pretty sure my friend and I decided, "Yup, that's what's going on." before it was ever really mentioned to me by docs.

As far as meds go, I was put on SSRIs [Sertraline] a couple years back when I was in a proper black depression. They did help cheer me up... Right up to infinity and fucking beyond - a major manic episode ending in a Sectioning. They're very strange; I found that I felt like there was this veil between me and everything I was feeling, physical sensations included. Hard to describe what I mean, but someone else I know described something similar. I found that the "everything is fiiiine" effects led me to make some stupid choices too, like getting back into ketamine and at one point doing some potent Es [fucking dangerous].

That's me, though. They can be a useful tool for people with unipolar depression.

I've been put on benzos whilst in hospitals, also. The standard, heavy-handed sedation technique.... Except with me in a manic state they don't seem to put me down. They just remove more and more of my ability to control myself/stop talking. They just gave me more, and more, and more and kicking them SUCKED both times I had to do it.

I take lithium these days, starting when I was again super depressed. I really didn't want to take it, it was more that I was past giving a shit. I thought it'd turn me into a zombie, y'know? But hey, sometimes given the choice between agony and nothingness you choose the void.

It seems to agree with me and I reckon it's helped. My serum levels are at the very lowest end of the "therapeutic" range. Ditching all the uppers that I used to take has probably helped the most in terms of keeping me out of trouble. I still like to smoke green, that's what I stick to these days. It's been almost 2 years since I've taken anything beyond green and I definitely feel better for it and I'm a better person for it. I probably shouldn't do anything at all but hey-ho!

-L.Magnet
 
Brimz man I hope you're doing alright. It definitely is horrible, someone holding that much power over your life. I've had a couple of truly shitty shrinks in charge when I've been held under Section and that SUCKS. A lot of them are all about their sense of authority; and I quote, "Are you disrespecting me? I could keep you here indefinitely you know!"

Wanker.

It can be horrid having some stranger coldly rake up every painful moment in your life as well. Blegh.
 
Brimz. I don't know what you are going through, but going by your 'ability' to post on here in doubt they would have grounds to section you.

To begin with sectioning is the last resort.

Take into account that around 70 percent of sectioning are voluntary.

It would also be more likely that your AMHP would apply for you to be sectioned.

I'm bit drunk so I can explain more later date.
 
Wcote I'm not getting sectioned .

I'm not a danger to other people . Regardless of what that twat thinks of people with Mental Health problems that take drugs.
 
Just been through weeks of counselling, and one to ones, and group sessions. It has helped a lot in unravelling and understanding problematic thought patterns. Also my use of opiates and benzos was completely stabilised and not begun until the civilzed hour of 5.30pm. But, i had bought a large supply of ah7921, am reaching the bottom now, seems the crap parts of it must have settled to the bottom.

I got tested negative for opiates by the opiate medication team, with 120 mg of it in my system. I hadnt registered the change in bodily function beforehand; no difficulty uraniting, defecating or orgasming very easily. 3 days after this full blown w/ds started in. Hot and cold, drained of energy etc....Must be due to the time AH lingers. This all means i dont know if a dose will be strong or weak, so am back to chaotically using, and back to grinding bleeding poppy pods kept for emergencies.

Plus for good measure i seem to have been storing my AH in a container that also had cannabinoids in it, (i was in choas at the time) as am sometimes almost tripping off it, and recognise other canabinoid sensations, othertimes the same dose does nothing. Thank God i have a docs apt tomorrow hopefully she will be willing to prescribe the 8mg bup that the clinical team were going to prescribe, until the test for opiates came back as negative! This gave them pause for further consultation, although they did say they believed my account, and didnt think i was drug seeking. I had been pushed to go there anyway. So from making progress in leaps and bounds, things are, i hope only temporarily fucked again.

They say these things are 95 - 97 % pure. It seems the crap 5% has settled to the bottom, and is all i am left with.
 
Can any of the articulate clever clogses on here (Knock, Myshkin, Shambles, SHM etc) explain what 'finding your centre' is all about ? I have a vague idea what it means, but dont fully get it. I'm saying things to my counsellor like I think Im egotistical but I dont have any sense of confidence, and are my problems real problems atall. My counsellor fed back some of these thoughts to me as a problem with 'finding my centre'.

I didnt want to seem thick to her so I didnt ask her to explain.
 
I've been diagnosed as schizo affective, my appaling abuse of stimulants is making me severely paranoid. I am sick of the drugs they have given me, Sertraline, Olanzapine,. I need something with a positive mental lift. I'm telling my doctor tomorrow that the meds i'm currently on are doing jack shit. Olanzapine makes you sleep aswell as destroying your personality. Buspirone does NOTHING, Sertraline, gave it up months ago. I am convinced i am being followed an filmed everywhere i go. I don't trust anyone and believe the house is bugged by neighboures. People are fakes and two faced frauds.

I don't mean everyone is a cunt. There are honest people..
 
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scrooloose said:
I've been diagnosed as schitzo affective, my appaling abuse of stimulants is making me severely paranoid. I am sick of the drugs they have given me, Sertraline, Olanzapine,. I need something with a positive mental lift. I'm telling my doctor tomorrow that the meds i'm currently on are doing jack shit. Olanzapine makes you sleep aswell as destroying your personality. Buspirone does NOTHING, Sertraline, gave it up months ago. I am convinced i am being followed an filmed everywhere i go. I don't trust anyone and believe the house is bugged by neighbores. People are fakes and two faced frauds, full of shit and they fucking bore the shit out of me. THIS POST IS BEING MONITORED, NOT BY MODS. tHE 'BUGGERS' ARE WATCHING AND LAUGHING.

I don't mean everyone is a cunt. There are honest people..
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^^ Sounds like when I experienced psychosis for the first time.

I dunno, but it helps to realize that (no offense) but really, and in the nicest possible way.... No one gives that much of a fuck about you.
Especially enough to be filming you, etc.

So don't be a dafty! <3
And lose that ego my friend.

+ practice knowing that some things you hear or see aren't real.
Good luck.
 
I know exactly what you mean, Scrooloose. I get exactly the same thing on stim psychosis and it really doesn't matter if you tell yourself that nobody is really interested enough in you to monitor your activities cos there's irrefutable evidence of the fact they are doing exactly that at every turn. Have gotten myself into some right states on stims (well, on peev anyay).

In my situation it was purely the drugs and lack of sleep that did it - I have no underlying psychotic disorders afaik - so as soon as I got some sleep and/or laid off the stims the symptoms all went away. I really do think you need to lay off the stims too. It'll stop the worst of the symptoms, I'd suspect. Maybe not everything but would certainly make things a bit more manageable. They ain't helping anyway as I'm sure you must know.

As for antipsychotics, I also know exactly what you mean. Horrible things that just mong you out, knock you out and leave you braindead. No fun at all. But if you were to lay off the stims you could probably ease up on the antipsychotics too. The stims just ain't helping at the moment. At all.

In the longer term you might just have to find a new DoC cos stims ain't your friend. I really don't know what to suggest (other than the obvious: no recreational drugs is probably best) in your situation but summat less prone to frequent/heavy abuse. Summat that lets you sleep more. A night of fun stuffs rather than weeks of paranoid delusions.

But you really do need to lay of the stims, I think. At least you'll know where you are with the underlying issues then and might well also be able to take less of your meds if you're not constantly exacerbating the problems that has you stuck on 'em. Take a pause for breath and see how it goes. It really can't be much worse, can it?

And good luck <3
 
Shambles said:
I know exactly what you mean, Scrooloose. I get exactly the same thing on stim psychosis and it really doesn't matter if you tell yourself that nobody is really interested enough in you to monitor your activities cos there's irrefutable evidence of the fact they are doing exactly that at every turn. Have gotten myself into some right states on stims (well, on peev anyay).

In my situation it was purely the drugs and lack of sleep that did it - I have no underlying psychotic disorders afaik - so as soon as I got some sleep and/or laid off the stims the symptoms all went away. I really do think you need to lay off the stims too. It'll stop the worst of the symptoms, I'd suspect. Maybe not everything but would certainly make things a bit more manageable. They ain't helping anyway as I'm sure you must know.

As for antipsychotics, I also know exactly what you mean. Horrible things that just mong you out, knock you out and leave you braindead. No fun at all. But if you were to lay off the stims you could probably ease up on the antipsychotics too. The stims just ain't helping at the moment. At all.

In the longer term you might just have to find a new DoC cos stims ain't your friend. I really don't know what to suggest (other than the obvious: no recreational drugs is probably best) in your situation but summat less prone to frequent/heavy abuse. Summat that lets you sleep more. A night of fun stuffs rather than weeks of paranoid delusions.

But you really do need to lay of the stims, I think. At least you'll know where you are with the underlying issues then and might well also be able to take less of your meds if you're not constantly exacerbating the problems that has you stuck on 'em. Take a pause for breath and see how it goes. It really can't be much worse, can it?

And good luck <3
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Peev being the worst, terrifying psychosis, really terrifying. I've over indulged in 6apb and that wasn't particularly pleasant. Oddly, the mystery meat that is B2, I've never had problems with, same with Meph, just a feeling of sadness and emptiness when it's gone.

I'm gonna mention sulpiride, an anti-psychotic with antidepressant qualities, see where that takes me, cheers and thanks.
 
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Cornishman said:
^^ Sounds like when I experienced psychosis for the first time.

I dunno, but it helps to realize that (no offense) but really, and in the nicest possible way.... No one gives that much of a fuck about you.
Especially enough to be filming you, etc.

So don't be a dafty! <3
And lose that ego my friend.

+ practice knowing that some things you hear or see aren't real.
Good luck.
Click to expand...

Wise words Cornish. I've deleted some of the original post. Nothing really interesting about me , but i just cannot shake it off. Example - i was looking up at the kitchen cupbord and a neighbour said sarcasticly "You won't find what you're looking for up there" which to me translated the house is bugged. What i was actually looking for was a bottle of codeine linctus which i found. I am sure houses are bugged by saddoes who want to know the ins and out, and things said about them.
 
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Trouble is, when i buy stims i cannot seem to stop until they are all gone, usually spent masturbating and attempts at socializing. With underlying mental health issues, it's a recipe for disaster. It exacerbates underlying issues without a doubt, probably worse than weed, yes i know weed is used by millions without any problems, but can trigger dormant mental health problems in certain individuals, although i find it excellent for comedowns, strangely, zero paranoia, very calming. Shame it's not the same when i'm straight.
 
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i have to be careful, i knocked on someones door and told them to keep my family out of something in my mind and they called the police. No visits from filth, makes a change, local idiot knocks on door talking gibberish. I left a voodoo doll on a neighbours door, they called the filth. Don't matter. Never did get it back. It's ok, people now know i've got problems. I have knocked on a relatives door asking them what the hell is going on on a Sunday 7.30 a.m.........nothing. That's when i got a script for 50 mgs of diaz for the day and was introduced to Olanzapine, blah , blah, could go on and on ECT early twenties, first bout WHOOPEE, cloud nine for a couple of months (despite horror stories), then bang, rock bottom. Second round, total brain fry NEVER AGAIN.

Mental illness may give you a well earned break, sometimes years, but it can come back and bite you in the ass anytime soon, although some of mine (though not all) could be avoided. Stimulants being the priority. I try to be rational for the sake of my family, and am,most of the time, between the cracks.
 
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