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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

The EADD a trifle annoyed thread.

Perhaps more than a trifle annoyed but still below Angry Thread levels so will keep it to here and moderate my too-close-to-angry tendencies on this matter... Some of you may recall that I set fire to my kitchen a while back. Well, my cooker burst into flames anyway. The only obvious damage at the time (aside from all the smoke blackening and hothotmeltyhot effect on things close to it) was that if I tried to use the grill it shorted out the main fusebox in the cupboard. Loss of grill was an annoyance but not a huge problem. T'other night the oven blew a fuse in the fusebox. I flicked the switch and thought no more of it. Tonight the oven blew the fusebox repeatedly cos I was actually trying to use t'oven again. Am now having to shallow fry chicken portions cos they need cooking today to avoid going over (touch and go as it is - have never fried chicken before so suspect I'll be dining on overcooked 'n' oily chicken cos I'm a wary of undercooking it :!).

Buggerations and arsewarts. I can't afford a new cooker. Am a trifle annoyed. And, somewhat ironically, trifle is one of the few foods I can currently prepare in my kitchen.
 
Shambles said:
that if I tried to use the grill it shorted out the main fusebox in the cupboard. Loss of grill was an annoyance but not a huge problem.
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Snap. Maybe all Welsh houses are actually one house. Do you live in my cupboard perchance? I've heard noises...

(I'm serious about the snap)
 
Ha! I'd bet a ball you're house is a lot nicer than mine. I live in an 80s flat (there's a plaque on the wall from the opening ceremony that mentions Prince Charles but there's no way he actually opened this place - it's four flats on an estate) on a Housing Association cul-de-sac stuck to the edge of the council estate. You actively chose to move to your house and you have better taste than to be moving to a place like mine given actual choice. It's entirely possible we share an electrician though. Dafydd the Spark? He'd be the scoundrel no doubt.
 
So.... im sat here with a plate of gear in front of me. Fucks sake...:(

Woke up today with it on me big time, auto pilot enabled and found myself scoring..

All concept of consequences seems to go out the window, just full of regret now. Im booked in to see the Doc at the DTC next week so I think im going to take a maintenance script of subbies, not ideal but it should help with my overwhelming cravings and at least it works as a blocker to.

Not sure how my Mrs is going to take it, that's not true, im fairly sure shes going to be livid...!

FUCCCKCCCCK......!
 
Oh SM, I never knew you were trying to quit an addiction. Here anytime you need to talk don't hesitate in E-mailing , pm whatever its called, me. It can be frightening, I know but you CAN do this. I remember how anxious I was to get off, n I never its codeine but I 'm not taking the mick of you honest, to get on subs.

For me, a friend told me she had been on suboxone under five years n how it helped her so I looked at subs like they were the God n miracle of recovery n became OBSESSED with getting myself on a suboxone script.

I hope this does not come across as preaching or condescending in any way, as I don't know how far you are in your addiction/ recovery n whether or not you've tried to quit before n what-not but please remember that subs are a tool n just like you can't build a house with bricks alone - it will sure crash with a thud nn draw attention to all who surround it. You need other things n that's not for anyone to tell you what. Some choose NA/A, some choose other forms of meets, some choose counselling, some choose Internet forums, some keep busy n obsess in something healthy ie exercise, some do an integration of all or a few of these. So it's up to you but subs won't help you alone.

I'm talking from experience. I still want codeine deep down n still drink heavily at night - though I am trying not to do, or want to do those things. The fact i only have enough money to pay for my child's swimming lessons n food is a blessing. I am learning my triggers: money, pain, self-pity. These are things you need to learn in order to battle your addiction. It's not as simple as just quitting.

Like I said, I don't know much about your experience - but I'll write this post anyway as it may also help other people. That would be ace if all the stuff I've been through can be used to help others too.

All the best, SM, thinking of you.

Evey xxxx
 
Most people trying to break an addiction have the occasional slip - habitual behaviour is habitual and any number of things can trigger a bit of a reversion. The important thing is to keep such things as one-offs if the intention is still to quit. Slip ups - however they come about - are not a huge problem, it's only really when they become the norm again that it is. Falling off the waggon is a very different thing to staying there and watching it drive off over the horizon without trying to get back on again. I can only really speak from experience but I know for me that a subbiez script helped enormously with cravings in particular. Kept me physically comfortable and really did block cravings. Admittedly it would've been a bit difficult for me to score even if I wanted to but there was really nothing stopping me from hopping on a train if I'd really started craving seriously. For me bupe was a bit of a wonderdrug. I know that isn't the case for everybody but they're well worth giving a chance to cos when they do work they can work amazingly well - in this case the drugs really do work. Good luck with it all, Mr Mist <3

Eveleivibe said:
My complaint is about subs. Having to suck these DISGUSTING things is pure torture!
Click to expand...

You're not supposed to suck 'em - they don't work if you suck 'em. Supposed to be taken sublingually - put under your tongue and let them dissolve and absorb. Shouldn't taste of anything much cos tastebuds are on the top of the tongue. Also doesn't taste of anything much anyway that I recall. Perhaps we have very different notions of what is disgusting. It could be a lot worse - bupe is a bit bitter at worst. Some brands are a bit stronger-tasting than others but it's not like having a bomb of MDMA burst in yer mouth or owt *shudders at thought*
 
Sorry I meant put it under my tongue. Sucking on subs, is a phrase so to speak. I think you gave ace advice to SM then.

SM, something I forgot to mention - the subs may not work straight away, in other words, you may still have cravings for dope. Just give yourself time to stabilise on them.

Evey xxxx
 
Cheers all..

Ive felt it building in me for a while, it got to the point last night that its all ive been thinking about, was the first thing I thought about this morning. As I kissed the Mrs goodbye this morning in bed I knew what I was about to do and risk fucking it all up but it didnt stop me..!

I think the bupe is the way to go for me, ive never had a maintenance script, always been a short sharp detox whether it be a hashed together one by myself or through a clinic. Hopefully this avenue will be the one that works for me :)

@bummer - no it wasnt flushed, once its gone that far its almost impossible to hit the brakes, was good gear to so im looking battered which isnt going to be good for my return home. Ive made my bed and all that....! Got to deal with it.

@evey - addiction and I are well acquainted, also well acquainted with various recovery methods none of which have worked out that great. I can and will do it, just haven't found the right tools yet.
 
Have you posted on recovery support?
It's very supportive n the people there are caring n kind.
It may help you?

I know what you mean about relapsing even tho you know what you're doing is wrong.

Hopefully you're Mrs may be understanding if she sees how difficult it is for you n how you're getting yourself on suboxone not to be addicted.

Take care,
Evey
 
Annoyed that my doctor won't let me take home weekly carries yet of suboxone
because I stupidly felt a need to tell her the truth that I relapsed on heroin back in January when my dad died. Even though I passed the piss test that appointment when I told her back in January I still wanted to be truthful and i said what happened it was a one time thing and whatnot. She said she was bound by law to take away my weekly carries so I quickly realised I should have kept my mouth shut. Now its almost may and I saw her yesterday she said she still can't do it even though I've done a random and been clean every time I go in for an appointment.

Uhh this is what I get for telling the truth next time I'm Keeping my mouth shut if god forbid I ever relapse cause she doesn't do anything to help just takes away my carries so I have to leave my job every morning at 9 to go to the pharmacy when its open cause I start work early and I only have 15 minutes for break. It takes me 10 minutes to get there then I usually have to wait in line then once I see the pharmacist they give me my dose and they make me wait with the pill under my tounge until it dissolves so I usually end up taking 45 minutes to an hour. Uhhh fucking people not everybody's life is perfect where we all drive around in a Ferrari all day with more money than anyone can spend and don't know what its like to be broke as fuck.

Thanks for letting me vent.
 
I noticed there seems to be much more of an atmosphere of distrust with Subbiez scripts when I was recently back on script. Every time I fulfilled the criteria for takehome they moved the goalposts. Happened three times that I recall. I gave clean samples every time but then they decided they needed me to provide different samples and would have to start the whole process again. When I'd provided the required number of clean samples I suddenly needed to provide twice the amount. My usual counsellor stopped coming to the town I'm in so started with a new one and had to start the process from scratch cos previous sessions where with a different counsellor and I'd need to prove it all again. It was never like that first time I was scripted bupe several years back. It really did feel like aspersions were being suggested if not outright cast, and it really did feel like excuses were being made when what they really wanted to say was that they simply did not trust me.

I get the feeling DSPs are being leant on heavily by government cos in all my years of experience with a number of counsellors and different providers the people who work at the frontline are brilliant (perhaps the occasional exception but that's only ever been personality clash mostly - the odd person who's perhaps a bit out of touch and could do with taking a refresher course or the like). It doesn't feel like the apparent lack of trust and not wanting to provide takehome scripts - even when people fulfil all their obligations in terms of keeping appointments and providing clean samples - is coming from the DSP workers and doctors themselves. It feels more like they've been given targets and are obliged to meet them.
 
I don't actually recall ever combining them. I'd imagine they'd be a good mix but worth a lil caution as MXE doesn't always mix so well with APBs amongst other drugs. Ket seems to get along better with other drugs but I'd start low if you do combine just to make sure. I can't see it being a problem though - ket seems to go with more or less everything aside from booze. Can be a bit much with certain stims too actually but rather depends what effect you're after.
 
Yeah MXE doesnt mix with anything well tbh... apart from benzos

Done a lil bump but dont think ill do much more, bollocks to wasting this on a potentially dodgy combo

am after glory... this ket is euphoric as fook
 
Am a trifle annoyed at having a new keyworker yet again. Just as soon as i feel comfortable with the one i have and a level of trust & understanding between us has been built someone decides it's a great idea to change her for someone else. Must be my 5th or 6th keyworker in the last 2 years now. Woe is me :(
 
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