I have done nothing in my life. Why can't there be someone.. anyone.. some stranger even.. that comes up to me on the street and says ,"Hey. come with me. I am going to help you. I have what you need."
Where is my guardian angel? Could he be the devil in disguise?
There have been so many times where I should have been dead. I bet I couldn't die if I tried. I used to think that that meant that I have some greater purpose on this earth. Lately I have been thinking that the reason I haven't died before, is because the reality that I see.. My perceived dream of life that I wander through each day.. must be purgatory, from a past life. A never ending cycle of anything and everything which will repeat and repeat, and until that one time I FINALLY GET IT RIGHT. And can then travel onwards towards the light. Back out of this constant doom and gloom and back out into the green green grass and blue skies and yellow suns and smiling faces and the "Lovely day, eh Mike?"s and the "I love you sweetheart"s...
I just don't get it. But then again if I 'got' it, what is it that I would get? A one way ticket back to nowhere land, a train ticket to the mountains, or a canoe ride to the mouth of the river, waiting to swallow me up yet again? And again? And again?
