funki
Bluelighter
Yes i wrote this.... please dont rip it off
enjoy it
-funki-funki-
THE DEMISE
I know a girl who’s life is plagued by her own hidden grief,
What she doesn’t know is, I see her pain.
I first encountered her at her work, she was a casual at the fragile age of 15, I came in for coffee and the occasional bite to eat, she was gratified and joyus, had a light in her eyes that flickered like a radiant flame. Her work ethic, kindness and effort, I deemed her as one day being successful.
I don’t know why I watched this girl as I sipped my coffee, there was just this aura around her that drew me to observe her and her actions.
I have been watching her over three years now, not in a perverted way more as something to do, I enjoyed watching such a free young spirit, somebody who could really make an impact on this world, instead I watched her demise and, I think I knew before she even knew herself.
As people grow and mature they choose their path and diversify their lives, Its human nature and to some it can be cruel, maybe it was her fate, I doubt it, nobody deserves to live the life path she has slowly sunk into.
At 16 I noticed her change slowly every week she sunk deeper, she developed an urgency to her work, a smile that was fake, an intense darkness grew rapidly by the weeks, in her once bright eyes.
She grew painfully thin and gaunt, she looked like death, skin so sickly white and a rail like body that would easily snap given the right weight. I feared her problem would consume her, I was wrong, it already had and it was only the beginning.
She continued like this for nearly a year and a half, it was nauseating to watch, some days I felt compelled to say something to her, though I never did.
By 17 she was in year 12, after watching her live in her own dismal gloom for what seemed an eternity, I saw another change, one I thought may have been for the better, I now know my judgement on the matter was poor.
It was one may afternoon I noticed something different about her, I had not seen her a month, she looked healthier and smiled with a little feeling, her eyes were not as black and lost as they had been in the past, this excited me, this girl who once had so much going for her, had she found the reason for her un required grief? I had feeling she was on her way back. This put a smile on my face.
As the following months passed, what unfolded in front of me wasn’t her re surfacing as a free spirit, it was a filthy demise into a hole deeper and more intense than before, I watched her helplessly as she dug herself in deeper and deeper. She lost her beauty and her direction, One day I felt confident she could go no lower, only to see her the following weeks plummet further into the disorder that has become her life.
She does smile everyday, her job requires her too, each smile appears strained and takes effort, it abandons her face the single second she turns her back to assemble the order. I can tell she doesn’t feel this happiness in her soul, she has no love. Her eyes burn a raging fire of self hatred. It seems the more she hates herself and the world
The further she is from freedom.
What I don’t understand is how she conceals it. To me her life is as transparent as a window, don’t those around her see the distress she is in? Though I must admit, she has a very good act going, to everyone she appears fine, just not to me, I see a fallen angel that has crashed and burned for way too long, if this continues im afraid her unique soul will perish leaving, behind the girl I see today for an eternity.
To this day everywhere she walks, a shadow follows her I see it, the shadow of death lurks, waiting to lavish her. I know her too well, I know she would love to jump in, but something stops her. This thought gives me a glimmer of hope for her recovery and struggle for survival in this cruel naive world.
Something stops her, some hope, some dream she must have, I know within her self she knows she is so much better, she does doubt herself, but she knows she is strong.
She knows she deserves so much better than she allows herself to have. I know because ive seen this at times, she is an achiever now she just doesn’t give a shit.
And I know she wants to, its just not her.
She is lost you can tell by the blankness of her eyes, tied into a repetitive loop of pleasure less pain. God has mislaid an angel in a deep dark forest with nothing to fight back with but her mind, right now it eludes her, she Is weak, waisted and mentally drained. The only person that can save her is herself, and I sense she knows..
I have faith in her, and her bounce back to humanity, she has lived by the wrong rules for far too long, such a free spirit deserves to be emancipated not live by her on set of mind poisoning rules. I want to watch her defy the strict rules she has upon herself, and gain back her morals from before, I want to watch her do it. I know she can.
Sipping my coffee today, I could see it in her, she is fed up, she knows this is not her yet she cannot find a way to fix it, and it scares her, shes like a wild animal trapped in the cage of her own stubborn beliefs .
I have finally written this because I sense a change, I want to watch her rise, higher than she was before, because she deserves to, for doing this all alone, for not choosing to die no matter how loud god called her name for being the strong beautiful person she is inside, for fighting for her life when others gave up or had no idea, for being herself. She doesn’t deserve to torture herself anymore.
I know all this about her, yet she doesn’t know me, as I said she serves me food and the occasional coffee, I will stay forever silent on this matter, the day I know she loves herself will be a blissful day for me to see, I look forward to it.
enjoy it
-funki-funki-
THE DEMISE
I know a girl who’s life is plagued by her own hidden grief,
What she doesn’t know is, I see her pain.
I first encountered her at her work, she was a casual at the fragile age of 15, I came in for coffee and the occasional bite to eat, she was gratified and joyus, had a light in her eyes that flickered like a radiant flame. Her work ethic, kindness and effort, I deemed her as one day being successful.
I don’t know why I watched this girl as I sipped my coffee, there was just this aura around her that drew me to observe her and her actions.
I have been watching her over three years now, not in a perverted way more as something to do, I enjoyed watching such a free young spirit, somebody who could really make an impact on this world, instead I watched her demise and, I think I knew before she even knew herself.
As people grow and mature they choose their path and diversify their lives, Its human nature and to some it can be cruel, maybe it was her fate, I doubt it, nobody deserves to live the life path she has slowly sunk into.
At 16 I noticed her change slowly every week she sunk deeper, she developed an urgency to her work, a smile that was fake, an intense darkness grew rapidly by the weeks, in her once bright eyes.
She grew painfully thin and gaunt, she looked like death, skin so sickly white and a rail like body that would easily snap given the right weight. I feared her problem would consume her, I was wrong, it already had and it was only the beginning.
She continued like this for nearly a year and a half, it was nauseating to watch, some days I felt compelled to say something to her, though I never did.
By 17 she was in year 12, after watching her live in her own dismal gloom for what seemed an eternity, I saw another change, one I thought may have been for the better, I now know my judgement on the matter was poor.
It was one may afternoon I noticed something different about her, I had not seen her a month, she looked healthier and smiled with a little feeling, her eyes were not as black and lost as they had been in the past, this excited me, this girl who once had so much going for her, had she found the reason for her un required grief? I had feeling she was on her way back. This put a smile on my face.
As the following months passed, what unfolded in front of me wasn’t her re surfacing as a free spirit, it was a filthy demise into a hole deeper and more intense than before, I watched her helplessly as she dug herself in deeper and deeper. She lost her beauty and her direction, One day I felt confident she could go no lower, only to see her the following weeks plummet further into the disorder that has become her life.
She does smile everyday, her job requires her too, each smile appears strained and takes effort, it abandons her face the single second she turns her back to assemble the order. I can tell she doesn’t feel this happiness in her soul, she has no love. Her eyes burn a raging fire of self hatred. It seems the more she hates herself and the world
The further she is from freedom.
What I don’t understand is how she conceals it. To me her life is as transparent as a window, don’t those around her see the distress she is in? Though I must admit, she has a very good act going, to everyone she appears fine, just not to me, I see a fallen angel that has crashed and burned for way too long, if this continues im afraid her unique soul will perish leaving, behind the girl I see today for an eternity.
To this day everywhere she walks, a shadow follows her I see it, the shadow of death lurks, waiting to lavish her. I know her too well, I know she would love to jump in, but something stops her. This thought gives me a glimmer of hope for her recovery and struggle for survival in this cruel naive world.
Something stops her, some hope, some dream she must have, I know within her self she knows she is so much better, she does doubt herself, but she knows she is strong.
She knows she deserves so much better than she allows herself to have. I know because ive seen this at times, she is an achiever now she just doesn’t give a shit.
And I know she wants to, its just not her.
She is lost you can tell by the blankness of her eyes, tied into a repetitive loop of pleasure less pain. God has mislaid an angel in a deep dark forest with nothing to fight back with but her mind, right now it eludes her, she Is weak, waisted and mentally drained. The only person that can save her is herself, and I sense she knows..
I have faith in her, and her bounce back to humanity, she has lived by the wrong rules for far too long, such a free spirit deserves to be emancipated not live by her on set of mind poisoning rules. I want to watch her defy the strict rules she has upon herself, and gain back her morals from before, I want to watch her do it. I know she can.
Sipping my coffee today, I could see it in her, she is fed up, she knows this is not her yet she cannot find a way to fix it, and it scares her, shes like a wild animal trapped in the cage of her own stubborn beliefs .
I have finally written this because I sense a change, I want to watch her rise, higher than she was before, because she deserves to, for doing this all alone, for not choosing to die no matter how loud god called her name for being the strong beautiful person she is inside, for fighting for her life when others gave up or had no idea, for being herself. She doesn’t deserve to torture herself anymore.
I know all this about her, yet she doesn’t know me, as I said she serves me food and the occasional coffee, I will stay forever silent on this matter, the day I know she loves herself will be a blissful day for me to see, I look forward to it.
