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Social The Delphic Oracle - Know Thyself: P&S Social Ampitheatre of Doom

When I drink coffee one of two things happen.

Either I get tired or relaxed without any energy or I get very energetic. I also find myself itching or contracting headaches, but when the effect are positive my head is very clean and clear.

I drink much more tea than coffee, but it is just regular shitty American black tea. Green tea is where it's at supposedly.
 
Or push on through until you have the tolerance I have for caffeine. I mean, I'm a naturally anxious person and caffeine actually helps me on that front. I don't get much physical response to it anymore, but I get an increase in cognitive function. I think my benzo habit has degraded my short term memory and I've always had poor concentration. Caffeine actually assists in that area- I think. Placebo may be a factor.

Fuck, Australia is a fucking disgrace. Racist, intolerant, narrow minded, parochial, sycophantic. I don't know if anyone here has come across this recent fucking horrible issue:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-07-25/four-corners-evidence-of-kids-tear-gas-in-don-dale-prison/7656128

Basically, in the far north of Australia where we have a much larger indigenous population, we have a juevenile detention facility where young teenage boys have been beaten, stripped naked, choked, manacled, tear-gassed. I'm talking about boys of ages 14-15. Big, burly, white, MEN are doing this to small, young, uneducated, poor, BLACK boys. Australia is a fucking disgrace.

I'd be interested to know of anyone's perspective on this. Australia claims to be an advanced and developed country, rich and affluent and yet there are people on the fringes that are amongst the worlds poorest. I've spent some time up north with indigenous relatives/friends and we are talking about living in mud huts with no electricity or water or heating. Just heaps of massive spiders and short, pointless lives.

That's fucked up, man. I will also say, I had a fellow Australian BLer casually tell me a story recently about narrowly escaping a drug-testing traffic stop, and it blew my mind. I consider the USA a police state more or less, but here we do not have anything like that. He said they can roadside drug test even for regular traffic stops and that they regularly do traffic stops for it. That's crazy to me, I mean in some towns here they do traffic stops for drunk driving, where they talk to you and breathalyze you if they think they should, but I have never heard of roadside drug testing, that's crazy and the very idea terrifies me. I mean weed sticks around for a long time.

I guess that doesn't even really touch on what you were saying but I thought it worth mentioning anyway. That's a fucked up article... :\

I found this passage really strange (bolding is mine):

"I congratulate again, and place my support behind, the staff who made this decision. The staff worked hard, Fluffy the Alsatian worked hard and, as far as we are concerned, it was a problem that was solved quickly," Mr Elferink told Parliament.
 
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I've also wanted to visit Australia. It's more of a childhood dream now, but I used to think that Australia would probably be the country I would move to if I were to leave my current country. Nowadays I don't care for switching places, here is alright anyway.

I mean, Australia has a lot of endearing aspects. There is a pretty deep safety net for people here. Its a good country to be homeless or struggling as there are resources and services to assist. There is an interesting change in culture away from the parochial, narrow-minded pettiness but racism is really present here. It is not unusual for casual racism to be expounded upon, in public, as almost small talk. Its changing but small minds still rule. Worth a visit though, natural beauty of an impersonal and ancient sort abounds. Central Australia by night, staring up into the Great Rift, you actually feel like a part of the cosmic Milky Way neghbourhood.

Torture isn't justified no matter the crime imo.

15 yr old boys you say?
At least I'm white.

Thats it. I was a troublesome young fellow, often in trouble- physical fights with the police who bashed me several times. Thrown in jail on several occiaions. A bit of a hooligan. I copped some bad treatment but I never mentioned my heritage. When I was growing up, my grandmother (who had no indigenous heritage) warned me to never tell authorities that I had such distant ancestry, but than she was racist. In Australia, indigenous people have a completely different set of rights.

That's fucked up, man. I will also say, I had a fellow Australian BLer casually tell me a story recently about narrowly escaping a drug-testing traffic stop, and it blew my mind. I consider the USA a police state more or less, but here we do not have anything like that. He said they can roadside drug test even for regular traffic stops and that they regularly do traffic stops for it. That's crazy to me, I mean in some towns here they do traffic stops for drunk driving, where they talk to you and breathalyze you if they think they should, but I have never heard of roadside drug testing, that's crazy and the very idea terrifies me. I mean weed sticks around for a long time.

Yep, its absurd. To be fair, I've never been drug tested when pulled over and haven't been pulled over for years- its not incredibly common, but the fear is there and that is what they want. I have a remarkable ability to read traffic (:D) and I am adept at avoiding the huge traffic jams caused by fucking cops setting up there enormous, intimidating drug testing sites.

If you are in any traffic accident, and the police get involved, you will most likely be drug tested. Positive tests would see you as culpable.

There was a story recently of a guy who was charged for driving under the influence- 9 days after he last smoked weed. :\

Australia is almost a police state. Quite left wing in terms of size of government but hyper conservative at the same time. You should have seen the state of affairs when our prime minister (head of state basically) was female. She was utterly destroyed by the white, priviledged male hierarchy. It was upsetting. She no longer plays any role in public life, though she was forced from power by her own party in the middle of her tenure.

I found this passage really strange (bolding is mine):

Yeah, what?? He is trying to create a different impression of what Fluffy actually did which was terrify the boys into giving up and laying down their "weapons". And by 'boys' I mean BOY- only one boy in this incident left his cell. The government claimined that it was a riot but the footage has been linked. Several boys who were gassed, stripped naked, tied up, hosed directly in the face and hooded were sitting in their cells playing cards the whole fucking time.

Oh yeah, they were black. Of course, they were probably planning crimes. :| This makes me so angry.

:D Forutnately, that dude has been sacked- he is no longer Minister for Corrections (though still minister for Children and Family- the same guy that accpeted the torture of other children!). The Northern Territory is a weird place. It is the central and northern most state, very sparsely populated. Heaps of indigenous people, some even attempting more traditional lives. Its like a frontier place, people have different attitudes, even different accents. When I went to South Africa, large parts of it reminded me of the Northern Territory.

Enough Australia studies for today. ;)
 
^A troubling madman. Even more troubling is the apparent popularity he has attained.

You know, Australia recently had a series of Black Lives Matter protests. I found that...odd.
 
^Australia is quasi-American, everything that happens in your country makes front page news here. I saw a fair bit of the RNC, thought it was as farcical as all politics. Maybe not so much as Australian politics though.

We recently had an elected prime minister (head of state) getting outed by his own party, replaced with a new prime minister who has also outed, by the same guy that she did it to. That was our Labor party (left-wing/social party). After another election, the conservatives/right wing (called, oddly enough, the Liberal Party) were voted in. After about 12 months, the prime minister was then outed by the now current prime minister. It has been an utterly slapstick style last 6-7 years in Australian politics. And in the meantime, black children are being tortured. That torture has been going on since 2010. White Australia did not care up until a few days ago. :|

They are going to convene a Royal Commission. Ostenisbly, that means that the Queen of fuckign England must give leave to our Australian leaders to hold a formal, legally-binding enquiry into these abuses. We have to ask the fucking queen! :D

In 1975 (I believe) the queen's representative (the governor-general who is, only formally, actually the head of state but doesn't really have anything but ceremonial powers, usually at least) requested that the queen disband the then government. This happened, an elected government was removed under the auspices of a monarchy on the other side of the world.

Australia is a petty little colony still.

I'm always curious as to what people know about Australia. As a country, we pretend to be powerful and one of the great powers, and yet we are really a squabbling bunch of racists with no culture.
 
Australia is weird.

So, I am about to meet my mother and her new partner for the first time. I am not sure what she is like. I am still in some shock that my mother is seeing a woman but after my father, I do not blame her. Should be awkward, especially as I decided to do the family proud and intoxicatee my self nicely before hand. :D

Does anyone find they get compulsions on GABAergics? I feel like I NEED to consume things, constantly. Need to be drinking coffeee, smoking tobacco/weed, preparing food, consuomg more GABAergics. Hardly relaxing when all I am thinking about is what's next?
 
Like GHB? I will want to smoke a lot of anything. I don't like cigarettes, but hand rolled or machine rolled cigs wih pipe tobacco is nice.

Xanz or lorazepam don't make me want to do anything and I am perfectly content with nothing besides it, but GHB makes me really want to keep doing something. Not that I'm hyper on it, but close to a craving.

Though I am not much of a tobacco connoissuer, hardly smoke it due to my reluctance to purchase cigarettes. Nasty chemicals, even though some may be present natively in tobacco, another 4000 chemicals added can't help at all.

I have not taken ANYTHING for 3 days now. The urges have been crazy. I don't have any clue as to why. I figured I would workout to keep my mind off of getting high, but I have had some serious muscle pain. Legs, back, arms.

Holy shit GHB actually sounds great right now. Or GBL, 1,3 BD or something other.

I wonder if I was planning on making a worth reading post anytime soon.
 
Haha at your last sentence. You've yet to write something that I haven't found interesting and readable...

Today I took ghb and some temazapam and some dexamp. My mums 'friend' was ace :)
 
Does anyone find they get compulsions on GABAergics? I feel like I NEED to consume things, constantly. Need to be drinking coffeee, smoking tobacco/weed, preparing food, consuomg more GABAergics. Hardly relaxing when all I am thinking about is what's next?

I think it's called loss of inhibition. I do get that as well - I drink a lot of coffee (on my 2nd cup already, since I took diazepam half an hour ago), make meals that at the time seem delicious, but in hindsight are just a mess of all sorts of ingredients mixed together. Oh and the compulsive redosing on GABAergics in order to achieve that high, if you know what I mean.

What are you planning on taking for the family meeting?
 
I'm in a mid life crisis at 15 fellas.

My stepfather is flipping shit, my mother is crying, sister is puking, brother is playing ninja turtles, my other sister is crying, and I'm venting in a drug forum.

Sometimes I start to ask why and immediately answer my own question.

I'm a bit scared. This morning I woke up groggy and heavily misunderstood an argument between my parents.

Now mind you my parents are not trashy. Good people, but a couple problems. Here n' there.

Nobody is mad at me thank goodness, but I am upset due to the screaming match going on.

I need a role model. I find it funny that some of the people I respect the most I have never met. I hope I don't post too frequently with first world problems.

My real dad once shattered an antique mirror over apple juice.
 
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I'm sorry to hear that Nixiam. If you ask me, it's good if you can vent in this thread if it makes you feel better. Also, perhaps you would like to take a look at the Recovery Support forum. I'm sure the folk there are more experienced with dealing with such stuff and could help you a tad bit.

I'll paraphrase Tupac again, "after every dark night, there's a bright day after that". So "Keep Ya Head Up". Have you thought about moving out?
 
Tupac lol.

I have, and I will in a couple years, but as of right now I have nowhere else to go. We've been hopping place to place and I haven't seen my father's side of the family in three years.

But thanks for the suggestion, I must have overlooked the recovery forum.
 
After writing this whole piece about Tupac, it came out so long and off-topic, that I decided to NSFW it. Read it if you're interested.

NSFW:
I used to be an avid fan of Tupac in my teens. I respect the man's work and dedication to the cause, which, at the time, seemed rather noble. Of course, there are rotten apples in every basket, so to speak, in terms of his records/albums, but for his time and culture (considering he came from a black ghetto), he was very enlightened. I have a lot of respect for him, even though I rarely listen to his songs anymore. And he certainly had a pair. It's a shame he was assassinated so early, but part of me thinks that perhaps it was for the best - he quit the game as a winner and a legend. Who knows what would have happened had he lived another 20 years; maybe he would have succumbed to the whole mainstream rap culture, which is absolute, pure, unrefined bullshit as far as I'm concerned (I have a lot of hate and criticism towards modern rap/hip-hop).

Watch some of his speeches, of which I managed to find only a few: 1992 Malcolm X, 1992 Xmas interview by MTV, 1993 speech. Every time I listen to them I feel like the man had heart, and wasn't afraid to say what he thought no matter how contradictory to popular opinion it was. And I'm not ashamed to say that it brings a tear to my eye every time I listen to it, because I wish I had the same courage and energy to try to change the world for the better. But I digress tremendously, sorry.


Give the forum a try. I don't visit it that often, but perhaps The Dark Side might suit your needs. Just post a thread with your current concerns - be honest. The moderators there do an outstanding job, and will help and redirect you if need be. I really believe you can benefit from at least giving it a try - if only to vent, and hear stories from people in similar situations - even that can be psychologically beneficial. And don't hold yourself back, just tell it how it is - people there are very understanding.

You'll definitely get better advice and/or support there than from a bunch of cynical suicidal philosophers (speaking mainly of me and Cosmic Trigger) here.
 
The modern mainstream rap/hip-hop is indeed absolute garbage, but there is also a lot of amazingly good rap going on right now, just not so mainstream.
 
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