The Dark Side Official Quitting Thread

my first post in over seven months.. i caught some possession charges.. two of which were felonies and lucked out with two years of probation.. but i've been clean since the day it happened... quitting?

a big part of me hopes so... i'm much happier now that i'm not on drugs all my waking hours. i am most definately an addict. but i miss the culture.. i miss the identity.. i miss aspects of the lifestyle.. and it's hard staying sober with all the things that remind me of using. we'll see what comes of it
 
Today is the first day of the rest of my life...time to stop being complacent, and stoned all the time. Have been talking about it for weeks now, managed to cut down some, the time for the fuckin around to stop is nigh!

Wish me luck.
 
i looked in the mirror at 3am this morning fucked up on aderal and decided i hate myself or at least the way i am right now. here's what i wrote about it on my myspace blog cuz i was so miserable and lonely:

i'm sick of being a drug addict it sucks i'm fucked up alone every night and when i'm with people i'm also fucked up and i wish i could just go back to smoking pot every couple of days instead of doing speed and dxm and drinking and doing painkillers. i wanna go to rehab but i can't afford to cuz i just started college i wish i had taken it seriously last time instead of bullshitting my way out but i didn't give a fuck back then. i'm so damaged and misserable and shattered and i love my friends but i hate myself i barely even sleep anymore and i'm speeding right now but i'm still depressed tonight i just realized drugs really aren't the answer to anything i love pot but fuckin everything else sucks and its so addictive and shit and i wanna stop but its so hard to. someone please help me this is a cry for help i'm not suicidal but i just don't see any light i love you jenna and tasha now that bobby and zack are gone and mike doesn't talk to me anymore your the only ones left that i feel really close to and love with all my heart. i look in the mirror and i see a worthless junkie who just can't stop doing shit i fucking hate to do it's like a compulsion and shit if someone reads this please talk to me or call me tommarow i need some encouragement or a hug or something please i'm begging someone to help me get out of this hole i keep digging myself deeper into. oh god i'm gonna go listen to music maybe write some poetry play guitar try to cheer up a little but i'm gonna try to stay away from the drugs but i just don't know if i can i really hope i can oh god why can't i stop? i swear to god i never believed in god but i'm going to pray tonight that maybe i can get out of this i hope the way i'm feeling right now is just a bad reaction to speed i'll probably feel better tommarow when i see my friends i really hope so so much. i wanna love life again please god or whatever force of good is out there help me escape this demon addiction that's got me so miserable and just down below the ground please god help me please please please i wanna be the way i used to be back before i started on this path. god, help me quit. i finally finally decided i've taken things too far and i'm ready. grant me serenity. if you're reading this don't worry i'm not gonna kill myself i love my friends too much just understand that i've finally hit rock bottom and i know the only way is up but i just don't wanna be down here forever.

so ya, i think i'm done with everything.
 
slyvan wanderer said:
Its not a real porn addiction. Actually it wasn't an addiction, it was a habit. It was a way of not thinking about stress and stuff I had ot do and escape. TV or video games could be substituted, its just I did porn instead. Food is my only addiction, and that comes and goes. If I get myself worked into an addiction its bad, if not I can walk aroudn free food and be fine.

Even then comparitively, food isn't an addiction like what people have talked about here.

But, I Thought the thread would be a good one so I started it and thoose are the two things that I have less control over. Now, I don't really do either. It goes in cylces.

I remember, years ago, Al Roker was giving an interview on Fresh Air about his Gastric Bypass. In his opinion, an eating addiction is a whole lot easier to break one's self of because you can't just stop eating. You have to confront your cravings on an hourly basis, and you will be around people indulging in your vice for the rest of your life.

You'd never have known if Al Roker was addicted to opiates, but you sure as hell knew the man liked to eat. And most people with drinking/drug problems would probably look down their noses at him for his "lack of will power".
 
Well I havn't smoked weed in about 4 months which feels pretty good not that it was serious or anything I was just smoking because I was bored and wanted a high even if the high sucked. In the past 6 months since my friend who introduced me to this entire scene left I've drank once, tripped a few times, and had an opiod. I love being able to wake up the next day without a haze.

I've more or less reverted back to my old ways before drugs watching anime/films, playing games, and such. It's really not that bad then about once a month I spoil myself with some fun.
 
Well, my tried-and-true method of moving far away from one's sources and drugged-out friends has worked wonders again. How can it not?

Hell, I don't even think about drugs any more. the longer you go, the easier it is to forget how it feels to be high. Of course, that didn't stop me from relapsing 6 months after my detox ... but even then, my tolerance was apparentely so high, that double the old amount only produced half the effects.
All I can remember about drugs these days is how much $ I blew on them, how fast they went, how they only killed a few hours, how they could have ended my life (practically or literally) and still might ... what was I thinking?
Oh, that's right, I wasn't.

Except now I want to drink like a fish. Or at least drink. alcohol is the official drug of this region. And harder for me to obtain than drugs were back home, go figure.
 
Ecstasy.
Its been 2 weeks exactly today.

I lost my magic, taking like a 2 year+ break.
 
I quit everything a little over nine months ago besides caffiene. I'm thinking about just doing hallucinogens like salvia and 5MeO that are basically impossible to get addicted to although I'm worried that will lead me to say 'fuck it, if salvia is good enough, so is anything!' That would not be the first time that would happen.
 
I decided to quit herb and its been almost a whole month. I havent gone longer than a week in 4 years! YAY FOR ME! Lets see if it lasts, ive been keeping myself busy as much as I can.... its hard when you move to a new place and dont know anybody.

-weez
 
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