Hi folks.
I'm a new member here and wanted to share some of my rather extensive experience with one of the most commonly used drugs out there - alcohol . More specifically, vodka. I'm aware this is a drugs forum and despite alcohol being a drug , I'm not sure how much attention is receives on this site - especially as it isn't even conventionally perceived as a drug by wider, polite society. I'm sure many here see at is more of an anti drug - the drug one imbibes in when there's no grass to smoke or other substance of dubious chemical composition to snort. A drug that normal people don't run in to trouble with for trouble with alcohol is the reserve of the mentally ill or homeless or staunch hedonistic misanthropists.
For me however, the drug alcohol has taken a more sinister role in my life. Not just weekend fuel for debauchery and wild antics but instead a terrifying, looming shadow that hangs like an ominous rain cloud over my life. I am seven months sober now and have regained many of the things I lost to it. Relationships, self esteem, happiness have all returned to me but I will never get my harrowing experience with full blown addiction to vodka. It started at university a year ago. I was using alcohol more and more frequently to sedate the pressures of life but also simply because it was what everyone else was doing. Drinking, having fun and enjoying themselves to the fullest.
it wasn't until one day I awoke with the shakes and took a morning swig of vodka to ease them that I realised something sinister was emerging. Some dark, penetrating force was taking hold of me. I started drinking throughout the day and night to ward off what are colloquially known as 'the horrors' - alcohol withdrawal. Shakes, hallucinations, crippling anxiety and panic attacks ensued when I couldn't get my fix. Does this sound like I'm addicted to alcohol or crack? Surely alcohol couldn't do this to a person I thought. Surely it was just a symbol of parties and good times. Not the unearthing of impending doom and feelings of intense fear. I would go into more detail about myself and my background. Give this whole brief summation if my addiction to vodka abit of context so you can understand or analyse why this may have happened to me, but I don't wish to bore anyone.mi just want people to know that alcohol can be a horrific thing to get hooked on.
people often say that alcohol can't cause problems by itself. That it is a symptom of underlying depression or anxiety tha leads someone to drink. Well it's funny because I haven't felt a smidgeon of anxiety or depression since I stopped drinking . In fact if you saw me on the street you would never imagine that me - a young 20 yo male with an attractive girlfriend, a good job, six pack, studying a law degree - would've ever been at a point in his life where he was downing up to two litres of vodka in a day. Cos on the outside I'm totally normal. Not deranged, selfish, mentally ill, under confident etc. in fact I'm the antithesis of all the above . But what makes me different is the way I react to alcohol. I process it differently. One drink doesn't relax me, it puts me on edge , I need five drinks to relax me and by that point I can't stop.
so yeah, don't really know the point of this post but I suppose it's a rainy afternoon and I have a day off work so thought I would write something. Anyway cheers to anyone who could be bothered to read and have ur selves a wonderful day! Oh and if you're drinking today, be safe!
I'm a new member here and wanted to share some of my rather extensive experience with one of the most commonly used drugs out there - alcohol . More specifically, vodka. I'm aware this is a drugs forum and despite alcohol being a drug , I'm not sure how much attention is receives on this site - especially as it isn't even conventionally perceived as a drug by wider, polite society. I'm sure many here see at is more of an anti drug - the drug one imbibes in when there's no grass to smoke or other substance of dubious chemical composition to snort. A drug that normal people don't run in to trouble with for trouble with alcohol is the reserve of the mentally ill or homeless or staunch hedonistic misanthropists.
For me however, the drug alcohol has taken a more sinister role in my life. Not just weekend fuel for debauchery and wild antics but instead a terrifying, looming shadow that hangs like an ominous rain cloud over my life. I am seven months sober now and have regained many of the things I lost to it. Relationships, self esteem, happiness have all returned to me but I will never get my harrowing experience with full blown addiction to vodka. It started at university a year ago. I was using alcohol more and more frequently to sedate the pressures of life but also simply because it was what everyone else was doing. Drinking, having fun and enjoying themselves to the fullest.
it wasn't until one day I awoke with the shakes and took a morning swig of vodka to ease them that I realised something sinister was emerging. Some dark, penetrating force was taking hold of me. I started drinking throughout the day and night to ward off what are colloquially known as 'the horrors' - alcohol withdrawal. Shakes, hallucinations, crippling anxiety and panic attacks ensued when I couldn't get my fix. Does this sound like I'm addicted to alcohol or crack? Surely alcohol couldn't do this to a person I thought. Surely it was just a symbol of parties and good times. Not the unearthing of impending doom and feelings of intense fear. I would go into more detail about myself and my background. Give this whole brief summation if my addiction to vodka abit of context so you can understand or analyse why this may have happened to me, but I don't wish to bore anyone.mi just want people to know that alcohol can be a horrific thing to get hooked on.
people often say that alcohol can't cause problems by itself. That it is a symptom of underlying depression or anxiety tha leads someone to drink. Well it's funny because I haven't felt a smidgeon of anxiety or depression since I stopped drinking . In fact if you saw me on the street you would never imagine that me - a young 20 yo male with an attractive girlfriend, a good job, six pack, studying a law degree - would've ever been at a point in his life where he was downing up to two litres of vodka in a day. Cos on the outside I'm totally normal. Not deranged, selfish, mentally ill, under confident etc. in fact I'm the antithesis of all the above . But what makes me different is the way I react to alcohol. I process it differently. One drink doesn't relax me, it puts me on edge , I need five drinks to relax me and by that point I can't stop.
so yeah, don't really know the point of this post but I suppose it's a rainy afternoon and I have a day off work so thought I would write something. Anyway cheers to anyone who could be bothered to read and have ur selves a wonderful day! Oh and if you're drinking today, be safe!
