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The Dark Side GLBT Support Thread
- Thread starter herbavore
- Start date
painenduser
Bluelighter
Sdly bigotry lies at the core of many disputes, whether it be against someone who is gay, different religion, color, political agenda. It is a bullshit way to live. We are all human and our personal preferences do not make one bit of difference in the end. Let me ask this, if you were a bigot who hated (forgive the use of slangs as it's just to prove point) a jew or muslim, a fag, or a nergo, and you were trapped in a disaster whether it be a fire, natural disaster whatever and you needed to be rescued, would you care what color, gender, personal religious or sexuality preference this person who is rescuing you were? Would you sit there with your condemnation of those different from you get in the way of saving your life? I highly doubt anyone would say, oh wait before you save my life, are you gay? Oh wait, what, you are gay? Your Black? Fuck no please leave me here to die until someone of my standards comes to rescue me. Oh I would rather be ded then have you rescue me... I THINK NOT! We are all human none the less, and because you disagree with the way a person is or lives their life, in the end makes no difference. So sorry, but fuck all you bigot's because not only are you bigot but your hypocritical as well, and that is just pathetic! Forgive my rant and rangz, good call, especially handling it very diplomatically and not letting your hatred of this jackass get in the way of your duties. You've done the right thing. Bigotry has no place in todays society. I don't care if you want to be bigot inside your mind, but when you show it towards others, that is a problem. It is a free country (well for now) and for that you are allowed to think and feel the way you like, but there is not room for openly belittling others for the way they choose their like, or who they are.
Peace!
Pain
Peace!
Pain
PriestTheyCalledHim
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2005
- Messages
- 14,685
I'm the same way with my bisexuality. I can, do, have had, and will continue to have emotional and romantic relationships with men. I can fall in love with women; but I've never had a relationship or partnership with a woman like I have with men.
Thanks for making this thread Herbavore. I've been out for awhile but IMO being out is someone's personal choice and people come out and accept themselves when they feel is the right time not when a political group or other people think is best for them. I don't think that anyone-aside from hypocritical bigoted anti LGBT politicans and religious figures caught with male prostitutes or by vice cops in airport bathrooms-should be outed or forced to come out. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask them here, or PM me.
As others have written in this thread I don't agree that everyone is somehow bisexual or has at least a sexual attraction to both genders. Even in the very old studies Kinsey did he never suggested that everyone is somehow bisexual or capable of being bisexual.
badfish45
Bluelight Crew
I guess I should elaborate on this point as well. I was talking to my friend who I had a lot of trouble coming out to about my bisexuality. So when I told her that I didn't plan on marrying any men or getting into a committed relationship with one, she told me "Then you're not bisexual. If you were, you'd want to spend the rest of your life with a man as well". I had to hold back the pain because I was in such a sensitive state, but I slammed that "theory" down. I'm much more interested emotionally in women for the time being, I guess there aren't any guys that I really am interested in (completely) that go to my school. Right now, I'm just physically attracted to men, and I enjoy the fact that men ACTUALLY TRY when I'm in bed with them instead of just sitting there expecting me to make them happy. But I often see changes in my preference. Sometimes I'm all about guys, other time I'm all about girls.
It's such a common misconception and people are so uneducated on the idea of bisexuality... homosexuality in general. I dislike society.
painenduser
Bluelighter
I second that!
rangrz
Bluelighter
After a complaint from a different person on the behavior of this same person, he has been charged pursuant to various sections of the Natl Defense Act and is recommended to be released with disgrace by my self and others higher up.
tricomb
Bluelight Crew
Good! Better off without that negativity
painenduser
Bluelighter
Wow that guy must of been some piece of work to have pissed off enough or the right people for that kind of discharge. I am assuming in the US that would equate to a Dishonorable Discharge. Serves the guy right. Excellent, the tensions should ease up there a bit I would imagine!
That is a thankful outcome, yes, it will, indeed, lift the Qi of the enviroment. Sorry for him, though. It is unfortunate, I must say though, for some prejudices are learned and not voluntarily adopted. Of course, one always has the choice to keep them or drop them. My grandfather grew up in the South in a white neighborhood, and was had a lot of prejudice against blacks when he was very young. He soon, however, became involved with other parts of the world, and dropped his prejudices at a very early age. His best friend turned out to be a black man. I guess I am defending those with prejudice a bit, and I maybe I am. I would never defend a prejudice itself, but some people, like I said, don't voluntarily or deliberately adopt prejudices, it is just part what they are taught in their family. Anyhow, it is good he will be gone. I do not care for any such hateful behavior toward others on account of such things as their sexuality, religion, race etc., and it is not good for the enviroment, obviously.
badfish45
Bluelight Crew
How do you all handle derogatory comments? Like faggot,etc. I try to use humor to play off of their stupidity by saying "I'm not a cigarette". Most people don't even understand it. Proves how much people know about the words that come out of their mouth. I also just sort of build a superiority to them in my own mind. Like if they're insulting me I get to think "I enjoy the fact that they're so stupid that they think that's even a decent insult or that I take offense to it." Because in my mind I know they have no idea what they're talking about and they're just trying to expose a weak point of mine to get a reaction.
Insulting is a worthless practice.
Insulting is a worthless practice.
The comments, for me, are not bothersome. When I was going to school with others, I embraced it all. In fact, I became so very outspoken, audacious, and extroverted, I made it perfectly known I was quite gay. (I don't care for labels, but for all intents and purposes that is what I label myself as for others' understanding.) But, yes, I became flamboyant, completely ridiculous, even histrionic. Attention, any attention I could get, I used, and would always put on a performance. I liked giving them what they wanted. I was explicitly frank about my life, and still am, to others despite how odd it may seem. I am an odd person, a bizzare person. I like it that way, and take no offense to the insults of others.
hgwells
Bluelighter
it reminds me of a stand up Whoopi Goldberg did a long time ago. She had a great bit about the difference between and funny racial joke, or just someone who was racist. I have embraced a lot of terms, I was never that sensitive when it came to the words themselves- more so the context. Sometime the word faggot is just funny, makes me chuckle when it's in a good joke, or say when William Defoe says it the the man who is trying to cuddle with him in Boondock Saints.
zombiesarepeaceful
Bluelighter
I used to be out at work as gay, but I learned the hard way that it's probably best to keep my mouth shut, especially when I'm working in predominantly male fields of work. I worked at a steel factory when I came out to one person and it spread like wildfire. I got harassed alot and my job was threatened. It taught me alot though, I learned that even if I want to be "out and proud" that it's not always the best choice, especially when it concerns your job. At jobs I've had since then I've been in the closet. It took me awhile but I confided in like 3 people at one job that I'm gay, but they were people who I knew wouldn't tell a soul. In that job though I worked around mostly old women who wouldn't be bothered really if they did find out. I'm about to start a new job monday in another predominantly male field of work, and other guys obviously aren't very nice when it comes to being around a "faggot". So I'm going to stay in the closet at work, it's the best choice for me.
That's a horrible, shameful truth, isn't it? How some lines of work just seem to breed ignorance and intolerance. It's like so many of those people never grew out of middle school. Ugh.
Lots of luck to you in your new job zap! Nice to see you around, by the way-- although I'm sorry to hear about the circumstances that have brought you back.
Lots of luck to you in your new job zap! Nice to see you around, by the way-- although I'm sorry to hear about the circumstances that have brought you back.
I suppose I see why you don't "come out" exactly, but you mustn't hide who you are. If you are self-confident, if you are secure, people will notice that, and I think you would be surprised to find that not as many people would really harass you. I never said here I am gay and all, but I let people know via behaviors and the like. If asked, I would always say of course I was. Now, I don't know exactly who this new crowd of guys you will be working with are, but I wouldn't, personally, hide who I am for a job.
zombiesarepeaceful
Bluelighter
Yeah but I mean when I work with all men, I'm gonna come across someone who isn't ok with working with a gay man. I'll be rooming in a hotel with other guys while I'm on the road with this job so I'm not willing to risk them not being comfortable with knowing I'm gay and as a result starting shit and possibly finding a "reason" to fire me if they found out. Luckily I'm not at all flamboyant and most people don't believe me at first when I tell them I'm gay, so it's not hard for me to come off as a regular heterosexual man. I do have a tattoo with rainbow lettering on my arm that people have questioned and asked if I was gay cuz of the colors, but I usually just lie and say that it's a tattoo that I got in memory of someone who died (which it's not) and they just leave it alone after that. After awhile I learned how to stand up for yourself if need be and act super straight when someone questions me, even to the point of taking on the stereotypical heterosexual attitude and bashing on gays...I don't want to, but sometimes if you're being threatened it's just what you have to do.
rangrz
Bluelighter
Yeah, same diff as as U.S. Dishonorable discharge, including being a permanent record re: any government job and/or security clearance, not pardonable like a criminal record. Forfeit of all benefits and pension.
For the discussion on words. I get insults all the time based on other factors (not gay, but am discriminated on mainly for my job) I say remember the difference between a bit of low brow humor that is without real malice, and genuine malice. Sometimes jokes around stereotypes are pretty funny and may not be representative of a real underlying bias.
Plus, no one can insult you if you decide to laugh at them instead of feel insulted. Its a great way to make their bias and insult into a literal laughing stock.
clubberdude
Bluelighter
That is one bloody excellent post - the way you put that in such clear and absolute terms was brilliant. I'd never thought about it that way (though I've never had an issue with race/religion/beliefs/sexuality etc) so maybe I've never needed to rationalise it as such, but the point you make is so true and really highlights the futility of bigotry.
Its a shame bluelight doesn't have a "like post" button, as this would have definitely got a like.
Sorry its taken so long for me to respond, I should make more of an effort to frequent this corner of BL, I guess my current lack of interest in the subject matter due to ADs may have something to do with it.
I've always struggled with that view like so many things I have always thought of sexuality as being all the shades from black to white , I couldn't quite find the kin of picture I have in my mind but the one below will do for the sake of discussion.
I have always considered that ther will be people at both extreme ends those that are 100% heterosexual and those that are 100% homosexual and every possible shade in between.
I have had gay, bisexual , transsexual and (supposedly) straight friends.
I can honestly say that I cannot ever remember feeling any attraction to any male I have met from any of those groups, I guess this could be down to conditioning and some kind of self denial but this seems unlikely, I'm very open about my sexuality and in my younger years used to get chatted up by guts quite allot whilst clubbing because I dressed in a similar may to the prevailing "gay look"
Also I had a very close married male friend suddenly announce they were in fact transsexual, this made me question this area of myself even more so.
It is my total lack of interest in men and having never questioned my gender that has always made me sure that gay and bisexual people must be normal because I felt so sure about myself, I hope that makes sense, it does to me but its difficult to describe. What I'm trying to say is if I can be so sure about my sexuality then others must be sure about their's so I would even begin to question the validity of someone stating their gender or sexuality.
For me you can't have all the shades from black to white and miss out the actual black and white ?
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