frostyangel
Bluelighter
curses of my life
in the morning when I awake
I think god, I just went to bed
but I look at the clock that
tells me it's only 4:30am
And I think to myself, awake
again, the sun didn't even
come up yet, and I wonder
should I sit myself in front of this
damn computer again.
I realize that I do have tears
in my eyes, rolling down my
face, and I don't even know
why.
I just realize that I want this life
to change, I have been holding
this head up so high, feeling like
breaking down inside, I just want
someone to notice, but everyone
is to worried about all the stupid
things in their life that they can
obviously avoid.
I sit here and wonder does and
anyone every stop to think, look
how brave she is, even though
her family left her all alone, enough
though she has noone left to be with
at home, she is all on her own, and the
last thing on my mind is, when the hell
was the last time I went grocery shopping.
I can careless if I eat tonite, I just really
have no appetite.
When I finally fall back asleep, I was
awaken by an 8:00am alarm clock,
I thought I'd maybe feel better after
crying myself back to sleep. But then,
I realized how I was falling behind
once again running late for work,
and gosh damn, why won't my hair
just cooperate. And just couldn't take
it anymore, so I ran out the door,
balling my eyes out, not even caring
about the black mascra. That just
smeared all over my face.
Wondering why, does this have
to be me? Only to show, yes it got to me.
When everything around you seems so
meaningless, when you hurt everyone love,
because you have found no love in yourself to share.
I don't understand these days of not
ever wanting to wake up, lying there
just not giving a fuck, weather or not
that job will be waiting there. And figure
why should anyone care.
I am sick of wondering what is going to
pay my bills tomorrow even though I work
everday, and I still can't make enough. To
make all my ends meet.
in the morning when I awake
I think god, I just went to bed
but I look at the clock that
tells me it's only 4:30am
And I think to myself, awake
again, the sun didn't even
come up yet, and I wonder
should I sit myself in front of this
damn computer again.
I realize that I do have tears
in my eyes, rolling down my
face, and I don't even know
why.
I just realize that I want this life
to change, I have been holding
this head up so high, feeling like
breaking down inside, I just want
someone to notice, but everyone
is to worried about all the stupid
things in their life that they can
obviously avoid.
I sit here and wonder does and
anyone every stop to think, look
how brave she is, even though
her family left her all alone, enough
though she has noone left to be with
at home, she is all on her own, and the
last thing on my mind is, when the hell
was the last time I went grocery shopping.
I can careless if I eat tonite, I just really
have no appetite.
When I finally fall back asleep, I was
awaken by an 8:00am alarm clock,
I thought I'd maybe feel better after
crying myself back to sleep. But then,
I realized how I was falling behind
once again running late for work,
and gosh damn, why won't my hair
just cooperate. And just couldn't take
it anymore, so I ran out the door,
balling my eyes out, not even caring
about the black mascra. That just
smeared all over my face.
Wondering why, does this have
to be me? Only to show, yes it got to me.
When everything around you seems so
meaningless, when you hurt everyone love,
because you have found no love in yourself to share.
I don't understand these days of not
ever wanting to wake up, lying there
just not giving a fuck, weather or not
that job will be waiting there. And figure
why should anyone care.
I am sick of wondering what is going to
pay my bills tomorrow even though I work
everday, and I still can't make enough. To
make all my ends meet.
