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The Cuddle Puddle vers. Early Gurning Center

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took 10mg of ritalin at about 5:20pm(ish) for the first time ever.

after about 30-40 minutes i felt a little bit calmer (which i found weird because it's a stimulant), and a lot more focused. sat down without hesitation and started doing some revision. didn't get distracted by my own thoughts or anything else really, found it much easier to read stuff and remember it. although i found a lot of it boring i found it easy to pay attention, the longest i can usually study or revise for without going and doing something else or zoning out for ages is 10-20 minutes, i don't even know how long i revised for on this but it was a lot longer than that. at one point i felt a bit tweeky, slightly anxious, and felt like i was actually 'on' something but that probably only lasted 20 minutes maximum and then i was just calm and focused again. got more revision done within an hour then i ever have in that same time period. got 93% in a past paper i did, although i did revise the areas that come up deliberately.

still feel calm and focused. thoughts aren't racing around like usual.

overal, fuck yeah ritalin and fuck you ADHD. unfortunately, even though i was diagnosed yesterday, i won't be able to get a prescription for about 4-6 weeks (which is after exams) and this shit is expensive. but my grades pretty much depend on me having ritalin so i'm willing to spend ~£100 over exam season.

going to try a 5mg dose tomorrow, see if it still helps me focus, because then i can make my supplies last much longer and can use it more frequently.

feeling really confident for exams now. i wonder if being 'normal' is like this?
 
Ritalin is cool, fun to snort lol. Not so good for getting high though... way too many side effects.


I actually just got like 200mg methylphenidate for free from my weed dealer.. not pills though lol, he handed me 4 transdermal patches and said "You want these? It says meth on it" :!




Going to have to save them for now though, my dopamine is SHOT
 
Yeah, I'm gonna have to quit weed for a bit, had my first panic attack in ages yesterday. meeh
 
Nah man, I'm noticing a steady increase in my anxiety as well since I started again... Definitely time for a break
 
I went through the same thing one time dude..had a terrible anxiety attack after smoking and it began to become a pretty consistent thing. It's all mental though try to get back into the place you were when you could smoke weed enjoyable, think back to the way you felt at this time of your life and certain things that made you feel good. Also try to think of what causes the anxiety mentally, and why these thoughts may be irrational. Try a break too though it worked after a month for me as well as a little introspective self analysis.
 
Im too stoned in now for the Anxiety attacks,
But if i vape too much i do feel my prostate tension and stuff going up. . ..
 
Well gooballs, i had pretty consistent panic attacks sober for a year or so straight... were bad times lol but I managed to get rid of it, except during smoking... The times were I could smoke without getting anxiety is like 2 years ago haha... I've given up on that a long time ago
 
Haha shit man I guess the same didn't happen to me. Sorry to hear its been such a problem. Have you ever thought of cognitive therapy? It's something a lot of people would hate to ever think about going too, but I know someone who suffers from a lot of anxiety, it sounds similar to what you experience. She goes to cognitive behavioral therapy and says it works wonders for her anxiety just being able to talk it out.
 
Anxiety and panic attacks are SO frustrating. I wake up most nights with a hot sweat and with my brain in a negative thoughts overdrive. I used to think there was problems that I needed to fix to sleep better, but each time I "fix" a problem, I just wake up panicking about something else. It sucks that I have to use drugs just to relax...
 
Folley said:
Ritalin is cool, fun to snort lol. Not so good for getting high though... way too many side effects.
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i won't be snorting or abusing it, just using it to finally get some good grades.

wish i'd been diagnosed earlier and prescribed this 3 years ago, i'd probably be at uni by now.
 
240mg of vyvanse, 8.5mg of klonopin

Now why would someone with harm reduction knowledge like renz do this?

Cold turkeying 2 month meth use is like being a zombie with terminal cancer and aids. It's safe to say that I will not be returning to that drug. If I do, it will be in the form of desoxyn.

Now if only I could find real MDMA or 4-MAR my life would be set.
 
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I haven't done anything in a while, literally the only things I've taken recently are caffeine and DMAA, not for recreational purposes of course.
 
Wow. I just confirmed that what I was taking wasn't even meth. It was 4-MAR. That explains a lot.

My ego just shot through the roof.
 
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gooballs said:
Haha shit man I guess the same didn't happen to me. Sorry to hear its been such a problem. Have you ever thought of cognitive therapy? It's something a lot of people would hate to ever think about going too, but I know someone who suffers from a lot of anxiety, it sounds similar to what you experience. She goes to cognitive behavioral therapy and says it works wonders for her anxiety just being able to talk it out.
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Hey yes, I did take some therapy in regards to thinking your way out of it, and I followed the Linden method, which I HIGHLY recommend to anyone who want's to get rid of it completely without using medications... I'm pretty much anxiety free nowadays, and I can smoke (TINY ammounts) without getting all anxious. I only get panic attacks when overdoing it with weed... I'm lucky to be able to stop one in it's tracks before it starts or it could have been alot worse 2 days ago lol.
 
5mg of ritalin seems to work just as well as 10mg, but isn't as tweeky/anxious at points.

gotta love being tiny and sensitive to stimulants.
 
Chesh said:
5mg of ritalin seems to work just as well as 10mg, but isn't as tweeky/anxious at points.

gotta love being tiny and sensitive to stimulants.
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I agree 100%. For me, at 10 mg, its more anxiety, sweating, nail biting, dick-weirdness. At 5 mg, virtually zero side effects... and Ive been taking it almost daily since 2008.
 
JimSteele said:
I agree 100%. For me, at 10 mg, its more anxiety, sweating, nail biting, dick-weirdness. At 5 mg, virtually zero side effects... and Ive been taking it almost daily since 2008.
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yeah at 10mg i also felt a bit too focused if you know what i mean, like i was actually on something.

5mg is noticeable, but subtle. like i'll sit down and be able to revise for hours on end and my thoughts wont be racing around and distracting me, but im not like HOLY SHIT IM SO FOCUSED MOTHERFUCKER FUCK YEAH

it's also weird because it wakes me up a bit and makes me feel like i have more energy, but also calms me down.

and do you reckon it made a difference to your life? because i fucking wish i'd been put on this 3 years ago.
 
Well stimulants have made a difference in my life.... it's just quite a bad one lol :p


Even the right amount of meth can keep you super focused though, stimulants arnt are stimulation and GO GO GO. After a hit or two of meth you feel so fucking calm, but sped up and with plenty of that "rush" feeling as well... just don't do too much lol.

I smoked some before school, but I started fiending and took too many hits... when I got there, holy shit I was way too stimulated to sit in class lmao
 
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