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The Cuddle Puddle v. Can we listen to at least one Non-Electronic Song?

Nice Folley! 18"!? That's a HUGE woofer!

On a side note I just spent $400 today... God damn safety gear for off roading... >.> A spare tire and rim ran me about $300 and a hi-lift jack was another $80... Going to pick up the jack today and might get a collapsible shovel as well, tire should hopefully be on the roof of my Ford by tuesday or wednesday by the latest. Spring 4x4ing here I come! :D

Off roading/extreme sports are the way forward. I'm 21 and I've been doing motocross about 12 years now, the feeling of hitting a 130ft tripple/quad for the first time knowing that if you come up short best case scenario is broken legs/fucked knees. No drugs come close to it, it's indescribable.

Also.... Love house.
Love Amplified.

Edit: Why does water taste so bad after cocaine, almost tastes acidic/metallic. 8( :? :sus:

I'm pretty into house music but happy hardcore is my guilty personal pleasure, none of my friends will ever know this.
 
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^ haha yeah I couldnt agree more, I ended up hitting a few trails today actually and had a blast! Half way up the main trail we hit some snow and still managed to make it to the top, a couple of guys in a jeep were surprised that I made it up in my Ford Escape but that thing is a little beast that has not let me down yet.

And don't worry, I love happy hardcore, your secrets safe with me ;)
 
Hey all, its been about 11 months since i used mdma. Considering taking a low dose again at a rave for a good time i dont enjoy the 'coming up' ever since id smoked weed though, Very Angst and panicy
not like before

I dont do weed anymore btw im actually clean these days
 
^ Good on you for being clean, I'm actually 1 month sober myself other than drinking twice last month. Had a rough new years and a terrible comedown that actually still affecting me now so I'm taking a good long break from everything.

The only issue I've come across with so far about going sober to everything is that my friends immediately ask for rides LOL. I only have one rule, if you puke in my car you're going to be ditched somewhere very far away down a untraveled farming road, possibly out of cell phone service range.
 
The only issue I've come across with so far about going sober to everything is that my friends immediately ask for rides LOL. I only have one rule, if you puke in my car you're going to be ditched somewhere very far away down a untraveled farming road, possibly out of cell phone service range.

HAHAHA!! Everyone used me for rides even when I was fucked up... But if anyone had ever puked in my car, they would be dead.

When I finally got around to emptying my trunk before I traded that car in, I realized just how much we all lived out of the car. I found things ranging from clothes to kandi to food in there. Every weekend we would take everything in the car and put it in the trunk so everyone had room to sit comfortably, we'd go party all night and the car would end up messy again, repeat the next weekend until the trunk was full, empty out just enough to give us another few weeks... it was bad lmao.

I'm actually getting sick of being sober... 140 days as of today and I can't remember the last time I rolled. Its boring. I don't know how to be sober... because I wasn't really sober for any real period of time since I was 17. My anxiety is down though so I suppose I can deal with boredom.
 
Living out of your car is honestly the best, I sound like a complete hippy but it's true <3

Couple pictures of my sleeping-in-car set up, first pick was taken halfway through a outdoor underground rave when we went back to the car to get that bag of chips sitting in the middle (LOL idk what we were thinking??) and the second picture was taken in my driveway before I set off for a local music festival for the night. Managed to sleep 3 people in my car in the first picture and only myself in the second one. Love that little green beast <3
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But yeah being sober hasn't been too bad so far, I started of with just no drugs but the two times I drank it only made my comedown worse so I decided against drinking now too. Another drug I'm trying to give up is caffeine cause it makes me super anxious now but it's hard! I legit have to watch what I eat and drink cause caffeine is in so much stuff :(

For example yesterday I ate two cookies, turns out they had coffee grind in them which has tons of caffeine in it... And about a week ago my boss bought me a coffee so I drank a few sips of it to not be rude...
 
Yeah we had a camping trip where we had a big rave and it got cold and started snowing... I said fuck this, I'm coming down from rolling... I'm taking my ass to the car and I'm taking the whiskey with me. Hiked off to my car and started banging tunes and other people came up and we had a mini party in my car and two others that came and parked next to mine and we all got fucked up on ketamine, nitrous, and alcohol with the heat blasting in each car and we were taking turns bumping music so we wouldn't kill our batteries or drain all our gas.

Good times!

But yeah, caffeine is the worst. I went cold turkey from a 10-12 shot of espresso a day average consumption back in 2004 after I started getting panic attacks and now ANY amount of caffeine makes my nerves fire with some serious shooting pain right through my chest. Massively sucks.

I learned some simple things - milk chocolate has negligible caffeine which makes it okay in small amounts but zero of the dark chocolate I love so much, avoid all dark sodas that aren't root beer (and avoid Barq's root beer as it has caffeine - and a lot of it), closely check labels for hidden caffeine like guarana extract, avoid most teas unless they are herbal (even decaf green tea has enough caffeine to trigger an anxiety reaction in me, even with high levels of theanine which is supposedly calming), etc...

It took a bit of adjusting but after about a month, the physical withdrawals were over (headaches for me mainly) and after about six months, I didn't even think about it anymore.

I honestly cant imagine life sober... And that scares the shit out of me :(

I honestly couldn't either. And that realization scares the shit out of me now. I didn't care back then.
 
I honestly cant imagine life sober... And that scares the shit out of me :(

I know I'm not gonna stay sober for the rest of my life, I'm just taking a break for now until I feel I'm ready to dip back into the world of drugs. It could be a week from today, could be a month, could be a year, I really have no idea at this point.

But these past 30 days (minus the two nights I drank which I take back if I could) haven't been bad at all. Before I was an idiot and took an unknown amount of an unknown substance on NYE I wouldn't have even guessed that I'd stop my drug use but this comedown has really changed that.

It's been just over a month now and it's still affecting me pretty badly, definitely noticing a decrease in productivity at work and find myself staring blankly at random objects/people/things until someone snaps me out of it. Like last night I was probably staring for a good 2 minutes at the table in the bar I was at before my friend started saying my name asking what I was looking at (I was the DD if anyone is wondering haha.)

I can say the earliest I'd even think about rolling again at this point is the last weekend in April which would put 115 days between doses. But really it all depends on how I feel cause unless I'm back up to 100% there is no way in hell I'm going to put any drug in my blood stream.

Yeah we had a camping trip where we had a big rave and it got cold and started snowing... I said fuck this, I'm coming down from rolling... I'm taking my ass to the car and I'm taking the whiskey with me. Hiked off to my car and started banging tunes and other people came up and we had a mini party in my car and two others that came and parked next to mine and we all got fucked up on ketamine, nitrous, and alcohol with the heat blasting in each car and we were taking turns bumping music so we wouldn't kill our batteries or drain all our gas.

Good times!

But yeah, caffeine is the worst. I went cold turkey from a 10-12 shot of espresso a day average consumption back in 2004 after I started getting panic attacks and now ANY amount of caffeine makes my nerves fire with some serious shooting pain right through my chest. Massively sucks.

I learned some simple things - milk chocolate has negligible caffeine which makes it okay in small amounts but zero of the dark chocolate I love so much, avoid all dark sodas that aren't root beer (and avoid Barq's root beer as it has caffeine - and a lot of it), closely check labels for hidden caffeine like guarana extract, avoid most teas unless they are herbal (even decaf green tea has enough caffeine to trigger an anxiety reaction in me, even with high levels of theanine which is supposedly calming), etc...

It took a bit of adjusting but after about a month, the physical withdrawals were over (headaches for me mainly) and after about six months, I didn't even think about it anymore.

Thanks for all the tips and that party sounds like a ton of fun! It's really crazy though what you can find caffeine in now adays, a little bit doesn't bother me but if I were to drink the average medium sized coffee I would get very anxious and start having panic attacks as my heart started to pound a mile a minute.

I've cut out my morning large coffee/mocha so I'm hoping that will be good enough, it also saved me like $10+ a week so I'm happy. :)
 
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Caffeine is one of the worst stimulants if you ask me. I have more problems with caffeine than I did with mephedrone or oral meth (in combination with MDMA or MDA in pills). It actually makes my heart rate higher than even DXM did and DXM is up there when it comes to tachycardia.

On a side note... I am loving having my own room... my set up right now is sick.

NSFW just for size

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All of those pics are from my bed... 42" 1080p LCD. First two, laptop output of Star Ocean: First Departure from PPSSPP and the last two, Milkdrop running at 1080p while listening to Trance Nation 1 and chatting on Bluelight. I'm actually amazed for multiple reasons. First, this laptop is a cheap Intel HD 3000 kit which is barely capable of playing WoW at its native resolution of 1600x900 yet is driving 1920x1080 on the TV and 1600x900 on the laptop screen at the same time with no perceptible lag (and my Milkdrop set up is heavily customized, it is really a sight to see but it is heavy as hell on the resources). Second, my nVidia set up on my desktop NEVER would do two different resolutions. If I set something to run fullscreen on the TV and the resolution on my monitor was smaller than the resolution of the TV, I would just get an image the size of the monitor resolution (which at the time was 1280x1024) unless I shut off the primary. Simply. Sick. =D
 
^ Nice set up, I'll have to post a couple picks of my current set up tomorrow, I'm pretty proud with what I've done to my room. xD

And yeah I've noticed that my heart rate increases a concerning amount with caffeine... Hence why I'm trying to cut it out of my diet.
 
Well I figured I'd post this here seeing how it goes with the title of the current cuddle puddle ;)


One of my all time favorite bands, been listening to them for 8 years now and still love them <3
 
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