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The controlled drinking thread. What's your maximum?

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
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In relation to alcohol, there are some people that are recovering from dependence that would like to "have a few drinks", in fact often I hear the desire to do this from nearly every recovering "addict" I speak with. So, I have a few questions...

Do you "control drink"?

If yes, what is your maximum? Does your maximum change for any given situation?

Are you going out tonight, or are you intending on drinking tonight? What are you setting your limit at, assuming you are intending to "have a few drinks"? When you reach the maximum, what behaviour do you propose if you reach the maximum (?); drink water, soft drink, or lemon lime & bitters after you "max out"? Do you propose you will leave the establishment (bar, pub, club, etc.) you are drinking at when you reach the maximum?

Do you think this is possible, or are you of the view that complete abstinence is the only way you can keep healthy?

What other views are there aside from the complete abstinence/controlled drinking approach that may be appropriate to this line of thought?
 
Myself and many other alcoholics or ex-drunks have tried this and it doesn't work. One or two alcoholic drinks very quickly leads to binge drinking lots of alcohol at once which leads to getting very drunk, blacking out, passing out, puking, and then drinking more.
 
Yes I do control drink. It seems to me that my emotions affect my drinking and this has led to relapses.

Coming from Alcoholism, I do believe it is possible to control your drinking habits. I still occasionally drink but this requires self control over indulgence.

It was very hard at first but what really matters is to fight the urge to have it control you. It has been hard for years but like I have mentioned on my other posts, once your body start to get into health issues, you will be forced to take it easy and live a healthier life.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
Myself and many other alcoholics or ex-drunks have tried this and it doesn't work. One or two alcoholic drinks very quickly leads to binge drinking lots of alcohol at once which leads to getting very drunk, blacking out, passing out, puking, and then drinking more.
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We are all entitled to an opinion, and thank you for yours. I tend to think as much as we class "addiction" as a disease, that at the end of the day it is still a decision. If we are mindful, we can make more reasonable decisions. We need to do what works for us, as we accumulate knowledge of ourselves...too often though, this accumulation comes through experience that is detrimental to our health, so it can be much better for us to make the deduction "I can NOT drink, at all". Fair enough, and thanks for you response :)
Maya said:
Yes I do control drink. It seems to me that my emotions affect my drinking and this has led to relapses.
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Power too you, gorgeous! :) Right on about emotions affecting the decisions we make, and the lapse/relapse process. Mindfulness and awareness are so important to life, and it sounds like you are even aware of this, good on ya ;)
Maya said:
Coming from Alcoholism, I do believe it is possible to control your drinking habits. I still occasionally drink but this requires self control over indulgence.
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I agree, self-control is the key to over indulgence, it is a decision. I mentioned in another thread that this model is used by psychologists:

Situation --> thoughts <--> feelings/emotions <--> behaviour

Situations (which we have no control over, for the most part) lead to thoughts, feelings, and behaviour; these last three are inter-related and I believe that we have the power to learn self-control by being aware of this process.

Maya said:
It was very hard at first but what really matters is to fight the urge to have it control you. It has been hard for years but like I have mentioned on my other posts, once your body start to get into health issues, you will be forced to take it easy and live a healthier life.
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Healthy life is what is important. If it is the case that health is at risk, then not drinking may be the best path to take. If it is a balanced lifestyle that we are after I find the following acronym to be helpful for any given situation:

S: Stop
O: Observe
B: Breath
E: Elaborate
R: Respond

If we are mindful, we focus on a breathing when times are tough, we follow breathing by elaborating on the situation, especially if it is stressful, then following these we can respond; doing these things I do believe that we then we are likely to make more rational decisions, in my opinion.


Thanks for your response, Maya :)
 
^ Thank you <3 I am glad it helped.

I really believed that every person has the power to control oneself, I know that for most of us, it is easier said than done and yes it's true but that doesn't mean that you will let addiction/alcoholism beat you down to the ground, you should learn how to fight it off and there will always be struggles but what's really important is not to give up on your desire to be out of the blackhole.
 
I stopped using every drug under the sun, and then a year later or so I tried to 'control drink'. I found that I cant quite really control it at all, and most true alcoholics cant. What is important here is being honest to yourself, and figuring out what is more important to you.

In all honestly, I am still drinking here and there. I have not had many issues besides maybe drinking a bit to much, but if it gets out of hand I will have to seriously look at myself again.
 
I have found the best option for me is complete abstinence. If I have a few drinks and then stop, I feel awful. I really, really want to keep going - drinking a few really ramps up my cravings for more. Despite this I have managed to stop after a few drinks, but it's unpleasant and usually ruins my night. Overall, I've found it's much better for me to not start in the first place. I miss it much less, and crave it much less, if I just don't start.
 
footscrazy said:
I have found the best option for me is complete abstinence. If I have a few drinks and then stop, I feel awful. I really, really want to keep going - drinking a few really ramps up my cravings for more. Despite this I have managed to stop after a few drinks, but it's unpleasant and usually ruins my night. Overall, I've found it's much better for me to not start in the first place. I miss it much less, and crave it much less, if I just don't start.
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Agreed that's what happens to me. When I decided to quit drinking I was no longer binge drinking daily in large amounts but I'd drink a lot with other alcoholic friends and alone on the weekend.

There were times when I would be out at a bar with a friend and they would only want one drink or two drinks, and then want to leave I would be either annoyed, angry, sad, anxious, feel as though things were ruined for the night or that I wasn't having fun, and I'd usually just go home and drink more alone. This also would happen when I would be at a party or bar that I'd driven to alone and I'd only have 1-2 drinks since hours later I would have to drive home.

So now I just avoid all drugs and alcohol.
 
I think alcohol is almost the worst drug to try and do controlled use with as the more we consume the more our rational and judgment disappears.. if the addiction is a battle between the frontal lobe and the limbic system then a drug that cripples the frontal lobe is going to be really tough to control. I think the occasional use of a benzo or ghb and drinking virgin drinks would have a far greater chance of success then using a drug that temporarily crushes the warrior we have strengthened in our battles.
 
After reading the responses, I am mindful that many may not agree this is suitable for them. Having said that I will propose the following for myself:

Drinking only in the evening after 4pm


Maximum four drinks (glasses of red wine, beer, or bourbon and coke).

If I get to three then I stop. I will drink water for the rest of the time if others are drinking, or just drink water regardless because it is good for health. If I am out I may drink a soft drink while others continue to binge drink; I can observe this behaviour and relate it to myself, watch as others become more and more out of control while maintaining my own well being.

If I reach four drinks I must leave the establishment, party or wherever it is I am out, so my aim is not to reach four drinks.

If at home, consuming four drinks means, after doing so, drinking water then abstaining until I have slept (and often I will not drink until at least the following evening, or longer - like several days).

Drinking alcohol a maximum of four nights per week, with the same rule applying to the aiming for only three nights per week.

That is just for me; I have been, and I will continue to stick by that.

However, I do value any feedback and constructive criticism. Please note, I have been doing this for the past semester (about 3 months) during final semester at University, and I have been successful to date (there was, before I implemented this plan, one trip I went on to the snow where I went overboard at a friends birthday, and the following night - I binge drank)...that is what led to this new plan.

I am now putting it in writing.

Thoughts?
 
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Soul mate how about drinking just a glass of wine or a beer, IMO 4 drinks is still too much.
 
I came to the conclusion that I could drink schwag beer till the cows came home and not have much problems in my life besides having to piss all the time, not being able to drive myself around, and getting constant headaches... but i didn't come up with much positive. I am not attacking your try at this I am really just posting the conclusion I came to.. for real and I am not an abstinence pusher at all.. but with people who are designing a plan for alcohol I think its best we dont drink.. what about drugs that dont manipulate dopamine and put your frontal lobe to sleep?
 
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neversickanymore said:
will that be worth it?
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I'll be staying with my girl friend, who buys a bottle of wine and drinks it over a whole week. I am going to be in a positive environment, conducive to my plan, and I would not always reach the maximum.

Maya said:
Soul mate how about drinking just a glass of wine or a beer, IMO 4 drinks is still too much.
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Good idea! One would be fine, as would two. I had two the other day at a friends BBQ and drank water the rest of the time.
neversickanymore said:
I came to the conclusion that I could drink schwag beer till the cows came home and not have much problems in my life besides having to piss all the time, not being able to drive myself around, and getting constant headaches... but i didn't come up with much positive. I am not attacking your try at this I am really just posting the conclusion I came to.. for real.
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Thanks, I understand your point. I need to be definitive with it and stick to it.
 
I've never really had problems with alcohol or suffered from alcoholism, but once I start drinking I don't want to stop until I'm almost black out drunk. So, I rarely ever drink because of that.
 
I "maxed out" last night. So I stopped after my pre-set maximum of four drinks; I drank yummy apple juice after reaching 4 glasses of red wine (which I drank over a 5 hour period).

There are two main criteria for determining "addiction" or substance dependence; DSM-IV and another by WHO. I fit neither of these criteria, therefore I am not addicted to alcohol by that standard of psychiatry.

Feel free to nitpick at my post(s).
 
I must say, with respect to the notion of "controlled drinking"... I really have no maximum. That is why it is such a dangerous experiment for me to conduct on myself.

One that I do my best to entirely avoid...
 
I dont know 'bout you guys and girls but I find it really easy to control my drinking, maybe it's because I don't do it often.

I know my limit and I absolutely hate throwing up so it isn't hard for me to stop if my body tells me so, also I find hard liquor and that difficult to drink for some reason.
 
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