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the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread

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Do you sit around and judge people who eat Mcdonalds, or other junk food?
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Yes, constantly. We laugh about it every day. lol

My boyfriend just said: "There is a difference between being an asshole to someone, and judging what they do."

Would we be mean or cruel to people who don't live the way we do? Of course not. I am not mean to anyone regardless of the circumstances. But do I judge their lifestyle to be wrong if they are treating their body like shit? Hell yes.

/end off topic :D Oh and I'm only being half serious. But it was funny how you said that because a few minutes ago we were literally laughing about this.
 
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That is funny because as i was typing it i was thinking "I know deja's a vegan or something so she probably does judge ppl who eat at mcdonalds"
 
I guess I'm so anti-judgmental attitudes because my mom happens to be the most judgmental person i know. So growing up all i heard was criticism of other people and how they live their life. I admit, some of that rubbed off on me and I have had a lot of the same opinions on childcare that have been shared on BL like, "its wrong not to breast feed" "I would never let my kid act that way in public" "i wont even introduce a pacifier to my child" (anytime i would see a toddler chewing on one) just to name a few... I guess thats why i've been blessed with a daughter that has special needs (but doesn't "look" special needs) that couldnt breast feed, throws tantrums regardless of where we are, and is encouraged to use a pacifier to strengthen her jaw....now i realize what a bitch i was for being so judgmental and how its such a negative way to live, worrying about what other people are doing with their lives.
 
The thing is i made this thread as a honest question. For me it is really truly, geniunely difficult to understand why a woman who aint got nothing stopping her from nursing, wouldnt do it.

(obviously being on certain medications, havin medical problems, havin a kid who refuses to nurse, havin other issues that prevent you from bein able to do it successfully would explain why many women dont. Im talking about the women who choose not to purely out of a reason like "oh, its inconvenient" or shit like that, who are totally 100% able to ant aint got nothing stoppin them.)

For me its just really hard to comprehend becuz its like choosin the bad quality mcdonalds dollar menu cheeseburger over a free filet mingon or somethin, you feel me? It just dont make sense and i thought maybe there is some kind of other thing going on that I dont know about that influences a woman into deciding to use formula instead. Like when I go to the doctor and get all those packets of free shit and coupons and its all for formula and shit and im like na, thanks, im good, i dont need no formula coupons...it seems like lots of people around me at least still assume that you will use formula, and that shit just baffles me.

It aint like it does effect my life, it IS other people decision. I aint trippin over it. Or postin to be talkin shit about others who aint got my same opinions. Its really just that I had a hard time understanding the thinking behind a woman who chooses not to for reasons like "i dont want to nurse becuz im tired of having a baby in me already and i dont want to have to deal with it no longer than i have to, once i have this baby i dont wanna be bothered with nursing" and shit like that. For real, that reason of not nursing just blows my mind, i just cant get my head around it and im tryna learn. Becuz its extremely difficult for me to understand that point of view so i made this thread to ask, honestly and truly. not as a "OMG, i totally know the answer but i am just asking an pretending not to know so i can bash people", but that i really dont understand it. So i was just hopin to get some ideas about the thought behind why a person would choose an option that TO ME, seems so illogical. Like i said before--ASIDE FROM WOMEN WHO GOT PROBLEMS WITH NURSING AND CANT DO IT FOR VARIOUS REASONS, to me, deciding to use formula instead is like , i dont know, picking out the jar of peanut butter that is exactly the same as the other one but costs more. Like i just dont get why you would do it. I know that is my opinion and not everybody feels that way and so i was makin this thread hoping to learn about these things that dont make sense to me to try an get a better understanding. not as a way to cause problems or be negative towards others. hope that explains it better.
 
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its like choosin the bad quality mcdonalds dollar menu cheeseburger over a free filet mingon or somethin
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its not like that at all. more like $1 cheeseburger over a free cow that you have to kill and butcher yourself...

ASIDE FROM WOMEN WHO GOT PROBLEMS WITH NURSING
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I've never met ANY woman that didn't have a problem with nursing. The ones that stick with it go through a lot of pain (as in worse than going through labor pain) and lots and lots of other issues...

I definately think that women that do nurse should be commended because its hard, its really really hard. Like I said, I've never ever met a woman that didn't have problems nursing. I think you seem to have the wrong impression about it. It might be one of the most natural things in the world, but for one the milk doesn't just come in for most (not all) women, and there are various things like becoming engorged and having sore, cracked, bleeding nipples, getting clogged, etc that cause excrutiating painSo idk why someone WOULDNT understand that after 10months of pregnancy and hours (in some cases days) of the worse pain in your life labor, a women wouldn't want to just take the $1 cheeseburger (and formula is NOT bad for your baby!!!!) over having to go through a horrendous amount of shit afterward.
 
yeah, I'm sorry but your mcdonalds/filet mignon and peanut butter analogies are wrong in talking about both cost and health

For cost its the same as the pasta sauce analogy. Buying formula is like buying a can of pasta sauce, whereas breast feeding is like growing your own veggies and making it yourself which is tecnically free but involves a lot more work. Also when you bf you need to take in something like 500 more calories then when you were pregnant to maintain a milk supply, so if you want to get more technical about it, the $$ you would have spent on food for yourself is about equivilent to formula (at least thats what WIC tells me!)

Health-wise its the same as canned vs fresh pasta sauce as well. Or like drinking nyquil when you're sick instead of chamomille tea or some shit like that. Sure the homeopathic version is considered "healthier" bc its natural, but its not like the nyquil isnt going to work just as well if not better.


I want to clarify that I most definately don't think breast feeding is bad at all!! Breast feeding is the obviously healthier choice for both baby and mother. I just want to clear up these misconceptions because like i said i think criticisms of formula mothers is really dangerous to those mothers who, like myself with my daughter, who cant breast feed for whatever reason. Its hard not to beat yourself up and get depressed based on what other people think of you
 
Whose teaching their kids to judge others without knowin facts? You takin this shit mad personal ma. Chill. It aint that serious.
 
There aint really a concrete answer to that. I made a long post about that a lil farther up if you interested.

to try and make it quick, the breast milk from a mom on methadone would have no effect on another persons baby who is methadone naieve. The amoutn is so small, in the tenths of a microgram, that its really negligible.

but, for some reason doctors have found that women who breastfeed their baby who is born dependent on the done, their baby has less withdrawal symptoms and is able to go home from the hospital up to 4 weeks earlier than the non breastfed babies on methadone.

its weird, becuz the amount is so small that it really has no effect but somehow the breasfeeding has all these positive effects on the baby, im sure part of it is the soothing, natural bonding effect and all the oxytocin and that kinda stuff. But its interesting to me that the amount is so small that it really cant do much for withdrawal but the breastfeeding does help the baby wean down so well and need less medication to wean off (in the studies i read, some breastfed babies didnt even need the low dose morphine that dr's usually give to slowly detox the baby , the nursing seemed to make a huge difference.) They just aint exactly sure how it works yet.

Babies need to be slowly weaned down off breastfeeding in any situation, so you dont do nothing different than you normally would if you werent on methadone. You wouldnt suddenly stop nursing, whether or not you are on methadone, so while dr's dont recommend it for moms on methadone, i dont think its really becuz there is that much of a risk of withdrawal--like i said , the amount in the milk is so incredibly tiny that it really wouldnt have all that much of an effect, but just to be safe you shouldnt stop too suddenly.
 
So my sister and brother-in-law just had their first baby and he is perfect <3
My sister has slipped in to motherhood seamlessly, if I didn't know better I'd swear she's been a mother all her life :D She's a total natural.

My brother-in-law is not so confident in his parenting abilities, he hasn't explicitly told me that but I can just see it in the way he holds his son and changes his nappy and stuff. It's not coming to him as naturally as it's come to my sister.

But the main thing that he seems a bit put out by is that my sister gets so much oppportunity to bond with their baby son. I think my brother-in-law feels really left out, and like he's not getting enough of a chance to form a bond with his son. I imagine this would be really common for new fathers because it really is kinda all about the mum and the baby in the beginning.

My question is, to all the experience dad's who read this thread: Is there anything my brother-in-law can do to make himself feel more instrumental in his son's first few months of life? They get their special "boy's club" time lying in bed/snoozing together while my sister is maybe having a shower or whatever, and I'm sure he bathes him and stuff as well. But is there anything else he can do to feel more bonded to his son?
 
I have no advice sadly, N30, except for him to keep doing what he's doing, hold his little man as much as he can, but from what i've heard from so many mums, it's all about mama and baby for the first few months - most dads feel left out, even jealous of the time.

In other news, we hope to have a little Popavich growing in my belly next year <3
 
Eeeeeep!!!!!! That is awesome hun!! So very excited for you and Pop!

As anyone who knows me even remotely personally would know, I have been clucky for years. I've basically just been waiting for my boyfriend to catch up =D And today he was telling me about a dream he had last night in which we'd just had a baby, and it was a girl, and it made him really happy :)
Looks like he's on the cluck-wagon! Hehehehe
 
Ah that's wonderful! When you're both on the same page, it's brilliant :D It's pretty cute when Pop notices cute little babies/kids and points them out to me and he's amazing with his 21 nieces and nephews <3
 
Sorry what....21 neices/nephews?! Whoooa! He's had a fair amount of practice then! :D
 
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