Synaesthetic Psychedelics and Forging New, Lasting Neural Connections
Most psychonauts have probably gained new insight and have a particular wisdom facilitated by their use of psychedelics, and while most of those people have probably forgotten most of the lessons they've learned, I doubt any would say they haven't been changed at all. I've experienced all of that over the past 8 years, but in using a particular atypically synaesthetic drug, I feel I've stumbled upon something I find much different with a long-lasting impact on how I perceive one particular aspect of life: music.
I'm not talking about a new appreciation for music. I have played various instruments since the age of 10, have a great ear, and have listened to music most of my waking hours outside of school/work for all my life. I was really impressed the first time I heard music while drunk, I was blown away by how good music sounded after I first smoked weed, and I was floored listening to music while rolling. They all simply made it sound "better." There's nothing terribly deep or foreign to it--it's simply an enhancement. While MDMA allowed me to process and isolate individual parts more quickly, I attribute that mostly to the stimulation, and above all else find it to be in large part sensory hedonism... There's nothing wrong with that, it's just not something that really changes you long-term. You can probably recall a bit of the magic right now if you've ever rolled before, but that magic isn't subconsciously at work in your brain--you can only call upon the memories of it.
I started using 2C-E three or four months ago. I used it about 10 times, moderate to heavy doses (15-35 mg), over the course of 6 weeks, so I'd estimate I spent 100-120 hours under the influence of 2C-E in a rather short period of time. After coming up the first time while reading a book with the stereo on in the background, I became distracted from the book and began just listening to music. I've spent maybe 90% of my time on 2C-E simply listening to music or playing my guitars/keyboards. Unlike the other drugs I've mentioned, I didn't find 2C-E to actually enhance the sound of music at all. To me it sounds the same as music sounds sober. 2C-E just allowed me to absorb it in all the usual ways like pitch, timbre, association with musical theory, etc., and on new levels far beyond that. I didn't understand it at first because I couldn't really put words to my new understanding--I could just dissect, feel, and experience individual instruments on a new level, as if I was using parts of my brain to experience sound that the sense of hearing had nothing to do with--synaesthesia focused on a single stimulus (the output of my stereo or amp) devoid of the internal chaos I typically experience when using other synaesthetic psychedelics. These effects were mostly gone two to three days later. After raising my usual dose to 20 mg+, those effects were amplified but still orderly--a very deep, functional ability to perceive, feel, understand music in a way that wasn't hedonistic or even pleasurable outside of an immense sense of satisfaction, but in a way that simply put more of my brain to work.
These new perceptions of organized sound (which is fundamentally what music is) which had initially faded with the afterglow of each trip have now become a regular part of my daily sensory experience. I feel as though I've spent enough hours experiencing music on 2C-E and focusing on what was happening in my brain in a short span of time that new parts of my brain light up when I listen to and play music today. Roughly 8 weeks since my last dose, I find myself easily distracted by music when working which I'd, in the past, tune out in the background. I can't help but focus on it and it's quite honestly mentally exhausting at times. As a musician of 15 years, I didn't really think I could further bond with music, but here I am enthralled by something I thought I fully understood. Now every single note tweaks my mind in new, strange ways that I can only explain with an internal emotional response, and not in words of any language. Without intending to, I've essentially retrained the way my brain perceives music by spending roughly 100 intensive hours dedicated to nothing but music intertwined with the endless free-flowing associations and sense of connectedness granted by 2C-E. I've noticed no drop-off at all in the prevalence of these new perceptions since my last dose nearly two months ago. At this point I feel as if it's become a regular part of my neurochemistry. I spend literally hours a day using these new-found neural pathways, and as I get more and more used to them, they've begun to blend in seamlessly among my usual ways of perceiving music. I'm subconsciously utilizing more of my mental bandwidth and parts of the network which had previously gone unused in the context of the perception of music.
Has anyone else experienced such a profound change that seems to take part at the very lowest of levels, that being sensory perception? This isn't a lesson I learned or a brilliant thought I had or a powerful spiritual experience, nor a notion of the kind of person I should strive to be or what I should do with my life. It's simply a dramatic, seemingly long-term change in the way I perceive one of the most important facets of my world.
Most psychonauts have probably gained new insight and have a particular wisdom facilitated by their use of psychedelics, and while most of those people have probably forgotten most of the lessons they've learned, I doubt any would say they haven't been changed at all. I've experienced all of that over the past 8 years, but in using a particular atypically synaesthetic drug, I feel I've stumbled upon something I find much different with a long-lasting impact on how I perceive one particular aspect of life: music.
I'm not talking about a new appreciation for music. I have played various instruments since the age of 10, have a great ear, and have listened to music most of my waking hours outside of school/work for all my life. I was really impressed the first time I heard music while drunk, I was blown away by how good music sounded after I first smoked weed, and I was floored listening to music while rolling. They all simply made it sound "better." There's nothing terribly deep or foreign to it--it's simply an enhancement. While MDMA allowed me to process and isolate individual parts more quickly, I attribute that mostly to the stimulation, and above all else find it to be in large part sensory hedonism... There's nothing wrong with that, it's just not something that really changes you long-term. You can probably recall a bit of the magic right now if you've ever rolled before, but that magic isn't subconsciously at work in your brain--you can only call upon the memories of it.
I started using 2C-E three or four months ago. I used it about 10 times, moderate to heavy doses (15-35 mg), over the course of 6 weeks, so I'd estimate I spent 100-120 hours under the influence of 2C-E in a rather short period of time. After coming up the first time while reading a book with the stereo on in the background, I became distracted from the book and began just listening to music. I've spent maybe 90% of my time on 2C-E simply listening to music or playing my guitars/keyboards. Unlike the other drugs I've mentioned, I didn't find 2C-E to actually enhance the sound of music at all. To me it sounds the same as music sounds sober. 2C-E just allowed me to absorb it in all the usual ways like pitch, timbre, association with musical theory, etc., and on new levels far beyond that. I didn't understand it at first because I couldn't really put words to my new understanding--I could just dissect, feel, and experience individual instruments on a new level, as if I was using parts of my brain to experience sound that the sense of hearing had nothing to do with--synaesthesia focused on a single stimulus (the output of my stereo or amp) devoid of the internal chaos I typically experience when using other synaesthetic psychedelics. These effects were mostly gone two to three days later. After raising my usual dose to 20 mg+, those effects were amplified but still orderly--a very deep, functional ability to perceive, feel, understand music in a way that wasn't hedonistic or even pleasurable outside of an immense sense of satisfaction, but in a way that simply put more of my brain to work.
These new perceptions of organized sound (which is fundamentally what music is) which had initially faded with the afterglow of each trip have now become a regular part of my daily sensory experience. I feel as though I've spent enough hours experiencing music on 2C-E and focusing on what was happening in my brain in a short span of time that new parts of my brain light up when I listen to and play music today. Roughly 8 weeks since my last dose, I find myself easily distracted by music when working which I'd, in the past, tune out in the background. I can't help but focus on it and it's quite honestly mentally exhausting at times. As a musician of 15 years, I didn't really think I could further bond with music, but here I am enthralled by something I thought I fully understood. Now every single note tweaks my mind in new, strange ways that I can only explain with an internal emotional response, and not in words of any language. Without intending to, I've essentially retrained the way my brain perceives music by spending roughly 100 intensive hours dedicated to nothing but music intertwined with the endless free-flowing associations and sense of connectedness granted by 2C-E. I've noticed no drop-off at all in the prevalence of these new perceptions since my last dose nearly two months ago. At this point I feel as if it's become a regular part of my neurochemistry. I spend literally hours a day using these new-found neural pathways, and as I get more and more used to them, they've begun to blend in seamlessly among my usual ways of perceiving music. I'm subconsciously utilizing more of my mental bandwidth and parts of the network which had previously gone unused in the context of the perception of music.
Has anyone else experienced such a profound change that seems to take part at the very lowest of levels, that being sensory perception? This isn't a lesson I learned or a brilliant thought I had or a powerful spiritual experience, nor a notion of the kind of person I should strive to be or what I should do with my life. It's simply a dramatic, seemingly long-term change in the way I perceive one of the most important facets of my world.