Hilopsilo
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2016
- Messages
- 615
I DEFINITELY know what you mean about it going a bit deeper each time in a session (or overall?). Like you turn to the next page of the story that is inevitably infinite, sort of chasing your tail after a while. I remember the first could times it was like this spinning "flower of life" or whatever, that would sort of turn me to the next chapter. Each page is sort of influenced by what the last one was (cause you're thinking about it still I imagine) as well as external factors.
One time I did one, and unknowingly my friend was explaining to another person how a lot of his friends back home are recovering heroin addicts (dark topic) and totally made my trip go in the direction of seeing myself in the future, going COMPLETELY mad from being so obsessed with the nitrous profundity that my life crumbled to pieces (lost friends and family, homeless, put in a mental institute, therapists trying to find out what was wrong with me) and he was sort of narrating that. That was probably the most terrifying one I ever had, I legitimately thought I was never coming back to reality as what I had now found was the true reality (I usually feel this way from the more profound ones, albeit the reality can be just as beautiful as it was dark that time).
The "going mad" thing has always been an underlying theme/fear of my trips since I was very young; the feeling of losing control, losing the ability to discern actual reality from my own reality, especially when the experienced reality becomes more real than actual reality. I found through nitrous though, by being respectful, cautious and with good intentions, experiencing the sensation of being completely convinced of an alternate reality being the true reality can be just as profound, enlightening and beautiful as it can be utterly terrifying; you've just got to initially let go, face the experience as a visitor/guest, and immerse yourself without fighting it.
One time I did one, and unknowingly my friend was explaining to another person how a lot of his friends back home are recovering heroin addicts (dark topic) and totally made my trip go in the direction of seeing myself in the future, going COMPLETELY mad from being so obsessed with the nitrous profundity that my life crumbled to pieces (lost friends and family, homeless, put in a mental institute, therapists trying to find out what was wrong with me) and he was sort of narrating that. That was probably the most terrifying one I ever had, I legitimately thought I was never coming back to reality as what I had now found was the true reality (I usually feel this way from the more profound ones, albeit the reality can be just as beautiful as it was dark that time).
The "going mad" thing has always been an underlying theme/fear of my trips since I was very young; the feeling of losing control, losing the ability to discern actual reality from my own reality, especially when the experienced reality becomes more real than actual reality. I found through nitrous though, by being respectful, cautious and with good intentions, experiencing the sensation of being completely convinced of an alternate reality being the true reality can be just as profound, enlightening and beautiful as it can be utterly terrifying; you've just got to initially let go, face the experience as a visitor/guest, and immerse yourself without fighting it.