The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine Thread - Part 13: Don't you know? MXE comes from MXE-co

[krrl]

I don't mean to go off-topic but I really like your approach, MagickalKat. No experience with benzos or with MXE, so I cannot contribute to the discussion, but I'm following this thread with great interest.

 

[J.Wallace]

You're all going fucking insane and you don't even know it. I see you all doing the same shit I did at first, then my friends all did after prolong use. You're all going manic and obsessive over this compound, viewing it as god.

I don't know what else to say but I pray you all don't start experiencing the horrible side effects I began to experience not long after I continued using heavily for months and months. Call me an idiot, it's deserved. But I hope none of you go through what I've been going through, I just hope you all see the light and decide to cut this shit from your life.

Believe me when I tell you, it turns people, no matter who they are, into full blown egotistical assholes. You're all blind to it, the glorious feeling is invincible feeling, I know because I've felt it. But it's synthetic and fake, it won't last. It never does.

 

[Folley]

^ I honestly see it too.. somewhat. Now that I'm out of MXE I can really sit back with a clear mind and analyze just how crazy some of MXE's thoughts are. I think it does really have some great potential as a healing tool, but it's also VERY addictive and you can easily justify your use by saying you do it to relieve depression/open your mind/enhance creativity/etc, etc.



When I have large amounts of this compound around, I tend to get very compulsive with my dosing. Yet, the addiction is so manageable you hardly know what you're doing... but before long you're vacuuming up a quarter gram a day and still not getting that high

 

[lovepsychadelics]

Do enough psychedelics/dissociatives etc and you realize these "profound understandings" are already locked within your subconscious mind. Passing thoughts, random ideas often to fleeting to be aware of or dismissed while in a sober mindset. Sometimes these things are realizations about society/social interactions/technology etc or spiritual theology of some kind. They are already something you are aware of but perhaps have not fully processed. As you dissociate and your brain is receiving less sensory stimuli it tends to compensate and hey presto lets drag up something from our subconscious memory storage and boom, there it is.

 

[dan k]

My mxe/k spoon broke in half.. so I did some mxe and fixed it..
I might enjoy the creativity and insperation I get from it just as much as the m-hole.

 

[krrl]

Do enough psychedelics/dissociatives etc and you realize these "profound understandings" are already locked within your subconscious mind. Passing thoughts, random ideas often to fleeting to be aware of or dismissed while in a sober mindset. Sometimes these things are realizations about society/social interactions/technology etc or spiritual theology of some kind. They are already something you are aware of but perhaps have not fully processed. As you dissociate and your brain is receiving less sensory stimuli it tends to compensate and hey presto lets drag up something from our subconscious memory storage and boom, there it is.

GREAT explanation! Extremely accurate & concise. Do you have background in psychology / neuropsychology / etc.? If you don't mind me asking.

Dan K, that's beautiful.

 

[Achten]

I just dosed 20mg's today to see what a light dose would do for therapeutic mood enhancement, and I had the most interesting thought. Not necessarily true, but here it goes. So there are so many black holes in space, also there are super massive black holes, devouring everything that gets into their pull. Stars, planets, everything, sucked and crushed into whatever may be past the event horizon. What if originally there was the source energy, or god, and something shattered this energy or sentient being or force if you see it that way, causing the big bang and everything that we know today. And what if the black holes are just the natural order of things realigning themselves. What if all of this is wrong, and that the black holes are bringing this source energy or being back together the way it should be. What if that is heaven, to be reunited with the stars and the source energy? I have no prexisting definite religious point of view, but this is an interesting thing to think about, and brings to my attention that although what is happening in life and on earth is of great importance to us individually, in the grander scheme of things us being alive and loving, living, killing, hating laughing, and dying, is only a part of the cycle of life in the cycle of earths life, in the cycle of our sun and galaxies life, which is part of a cycle of the universes life, which is just one part of a cycle of the sources life. Time is infinite and so is possibility. I end with that, your thoughts would be appreciated!

I had the same thought, more or less, on 20mg 4HOMIPT. On the one hand I would like to write about it, on the other hand I realize it's so difficult to put in perspective.

Bottom line, I'm with you !

 

[Mr. Meowfish]

First - J. Wallace - I totally understand where you're coming from and I remember reading your posts when you were getting wild - but to be honest, we are on completely different Planets when it comes to this compound. I'm glad you're doing better and aren't obsessing over this Compound anymore, but I'm still having fun, and until that changes, I'm getting down.
I do appreciate everyone's comments tho, and looking out for me. MagicalKat777 - I do not take Benzo's on a daily basis, and I have already gone thru Benzo withdrawal before, so I completely understand. Thank You for your Compassion. It is appreciated. The only drug I am Physically dependent on is Subutex at this point, and I plan on changing that whenever I can. The Benzo's are part of a get the fuck off of Buprenorphine Plan, and they are a back up for when I get too out there so I can come back to reality. I do enjoy my delusions, I won't front. It's part of why I enjoy Dissociatives - I like going to a world of Fantasy that's all my own, and that's what MXE currently offers. It has many different Values and Uses, too many to list - but yes, I do enjoy the just plain fucking Weirdness of the Compound. I used to drink Robitussin for 30-60 days consecutively........My brain is used to the Disco Lifestyle at this point. I've enjoyed Dissociatives almost as long as I was addicted to Opiates, the only difference being that Disco's didn't RUIN MY LIFE and Drain My Bank Account.......Completely.
I'm sorry I'm such a goofy Mother Fucker everybody - I just like to do what I do. I feel bad, like people are worried about my Well Being or something since I've been posting again................I appreciate the concern and empathy, but at the same time, I stopped posting in this thread for quite a while because the same thing happened last time. Heads just finally decided - Meowfish, you just way too crazy playa. Does it count for anything that I am FULLY aware and in touch with just how out there I am...............and, uh, I really enjoy visiting Outer Space Thank You. Maybe I'll just post Philosophical Writings that are MXE related or something. I started posting again for 2 reasons - to show what a Human Being with some motivation can accomplish on their own - and just for some laughs and entertainment...........I guess if people are more frustrated than entertained - it's better to keep your Adventures to yourself. Damn, just as shit was getting interesting.

 

[vortech]

^I'm in much the same place as Meowfish right now. J. Wallace, I realize the potential for this compound to make people delusional egotistical assholes as you say it, and as such I have had to create usage protocols to keep myself grounded, not the least of which is to take regular breaks from cycles of daily use. Additionally, I've experienced ego death such a large number of times from psychedelic experiences that I can easily discern which delusions can haphazardly fuel an ungrounded ego. I must constantly be aware of it when processing my dissociated journeys. The counterbalance is that I've actually taken up a number of positive lifestyle changes to remain grounded, such as daily yoga, exercise and meditation. Still, I skirt the grey area like it's nobody's business. I mean, look at my post from yesterday. I was talking about how MXE tunes us into a non-local collective consciousness. From the outside perspective it's pure lunacy right!? With these radical notions I always keep a dual perspective, considering the possibility while remaining skeptical of their actuality. Still, I saw evidence and entertained it. When I see a white rabbit, I follow it down the rabbit hole. Just as in Alice in Wonderland, the reader never finds out how 'real' it was. Most likely it all occurred in her own mind, but that doesn't change the fact that it is a good story and a fun ride however real it is. Like I've said before, it takes the fortitude of a seasoned shaman to use this compound regularly without becoming ungrounded. This is why I believe it is our responsibility to create a more in-depth harm reduction model to help initiate users of this drug.

 

[Dunno]

I hate you all! I miss her

 

[J.Wallace]

I hope nobody takes my words to heart, I mean no disrespect or hurt. I just worry bout people, in general. I know what this compound is capable of (I've done 300mg in one go, both nostrils, with no effect, on a 99.6% pure batch, that's how high my tolerance has gotten at points) and I don't want to see others go down that road that I went down, and still traverse from time to time.

The biggest thing I see it do, is turn people into being very egotistical. It makes you think you are god, literally. At points I found myself honestly thinking and believing "I am god, I am everything. All of this is me, everything little perception is a creation of my being and of myself, for myself. Even those people, are extensions of me". I've even had full blown psychosis where I believed the world was ending (This happened on December 12th, 2012) and I stood outside my front door in my boxers, latching on to my front door as the sun rose (It felt like 80 degrees in December, I was convinced the sun was so close it was going to scorch the earth and set it all ablaze and that was how the end of the world was going to commence).

It's given me very vivid, weird auditory and visual hallucinations (Voices of people who weren't there, as though I heard their conversations in real time, or their thoughts in real time, as they happened, all at the same time) and shadow people in my peripherals. I often found myself at work after a day or two awake binging and I'd swear I'd see people in the corner of my eyes, not moving, and when I'd turn to see them face to face, they'd disappear.

I've seen my friends take it, and like me go from "Theraputic usage, to enhance creativity" to "Taking it to become god every day" and they turn into straight up assholes, asking people to fuck them out of nowhere, and seriously meaning it! Asking for orgies with friends and family, and totally meaning it! It makes people straight up delusional.

I can't knock it. It's an amazing, spiritual and beautiful compound, when it's used right. But never one have I personally experienced, or seen people use this responsibly. EVERYONE I've given it to for lab research has overworked their lab with this. The only single time I remember using this in moderation, was when I first got my very first gram of it. I was skeptical of it. But that quickly dissipated when I was using every day.

Even on days where my bladder felt like it was going to literally fall out of me thanks to impure and badly synthed batches, I'D STILL DO IT! And believe me, I was relieved as fuck to see it finished...till I ordered more.

It's extremely compulsive. EXTREMELY MOREISH. Not once in the past year have I gotten some and not done it every day till it was gone. Blame that on me, I'm an addict to begin with, but everyone I know has done that same. Even only stories, I find it hard to believe when people say they only do it two or three times a week. That worries me. Because even if that's true, I know it'll quickly escalate, or could if not handled properly.

Just...everyone, please be careful. I don't want to see ANY of you harmed or hurt.

 

[Mr. Meowfish]

I was writing a reply to my man Vortech, and I realized that the reply I was sending him, needed to be posted in the thread because it absolutely explains what I'm trying to do and what other like minded individuals are choosing to participate in as well. Like I said, I'm Sorry for Freaking people out, but Progress is Scary. This is the Research that I am choosing to do. I am fully mentally equipped to walk this path. Don't be afraid or worry, just look out. I appreciate the advice and tips to stay safe - but it will not change what I've decided to do. Thank You for your concern, interject where appropriate, but realize - some of what we are going to discuss is simply going to go over your head. This happening doesn't mean anything, don't be insulted or think that we're crazy just because you don't see things from our Perspective. As long as no one but myself is in danger, this my business. I DO NOT recommend ANYONE try ANYTHING that I have, but I do wish to share what I'm doing. Love it Hate it - whatever, just don't hate ME for doing what I do. I'm only trying to grow as a human being, and maybe just maybe, end up with some really cool really interesting information for people of all walks of life. That's all I'm trying to do. What do you think people thought of Albert Hoffman at the time? Just ask yourself that..........Onward my friends.

Dude, first off, Thank You so much for holding me down when these goofy people who don't have ANY clue what the fuck kind of Research we are doing get all geeked out and worried about what we're doing. A part of me says, What the fuck is these peoples problem? Another part of me says, Oh, they just don't understand your perspective buddy, it's all good, they'll see the light eventually. I understand the fear that these people have, for me, fear of being truly alive, fear of living completely free and what that would mean.......What we are doing has never been done before in the history of Humanity. I feel like we are the first Truly Free Human Beings of our current Culture. It's not like there aren't other people out there that are just as liberated, LSD, Mescaline, DMT - there are so many paths to enlightenment, and our choice of Teacher and the Avenue that we use to find enlightenment says a lot about us ourselves and the problems we needed to fix that led us down this path of Enlightenment. I think the 2 most genuinely beneficial Psychedelic Teachers are DMT, and Arylcyclohexylamines of all varieties, I guess as well as all DMT varieties. Other Psychedelics are not usable on a daily basis, so it becomes hard to integrate such a big lesson into your life - at least for me.
When I eat Acid, I just want to have fun and shit, I think about philosophical shit and have lots of good conversations, but the Psychedelic State just doesn't last long enough to allow you to get the fun out of your system and life living that you need to do, and still have time to work some shit out and think about life. This is why I love Dissociatives, I take them on a Regular basis, so while they're Fun, that part of it get's toned down over time and I can dive into deeper things instead of just making the most of the time I'm in this state since it's short and having fun and enjoying life. I might post some of this in the thread and try to explain to people what I'm doing and to not be scared for me. This is what I want to do. It's my life journey, I'm not just playing games. I want to make this book concept happen. People are going to use drugs, and it seems like your Average Member of Society is gradually becoming more interested in the Psychedelic Mind State, and I want to use my personal experiences to help people stay safe and enjoy their Journeys instead of being held back by fear and hate.
I feel that the Ego is Brains enemy. It's like the Jocky part of all of our brain that only cares about how other people perceive us, and while that is important because we all need to learn to respect one another, but the ego holds us back from progression of ALL types, because our Ego is constantly worried about what other Brains are going to think of what we're doing. To create a Truly Unique, Intelligent, Beautiful, and NEW Concept, you have to be willing to BREAK DOWN ALL WALLS!! Not just the one's you pick and choose. I'm willing to break down ALL of those walls, I'm not scared at ALL. I've already almost died 3 different times in my life, I actually died once from OD'ing on Heroin. I've been dead technically speaking, and it's not that scary, or that bad. It's actually quite Peaceful............which would trip most people out. I don't want people to Kill themselves or Risk their Life by Misunderstanding what I'm saying. Some people are not qualified to have the Information that we know about. It would Drive Them to Insanity. Not Me. Not You. This is what I've been searching for my whole life, and I'm not leaving right when shit's getting good. I want my life legacy to be unlocking all of this information for Humanity, even if it's shit that we already know internally, deep in our Psyche - it's something completely different from what Humanity has thought for the longest time, because if there's a Psychedelic Drug that is Understudied, it's Arylcyclohexylamines/Dissociatives. They are WAY too important to be overlooked and they're so Stigmatized EVEN BY DRUG USERS that people choose to just not accept or understand what you're doing. When we as people don't understand something, that's what breeds hate. We don't even ATTEMPT to understand what's going on, we just decide "That's Bad" and move on from there. I'm not willing to accept that - it's what Religious people do and look where that train of thought has led them. I'm not willing to close my mind to ANY possibility, because we just DO NOT KNOW yet. Humans are naturally Impatient beings, we want shit right now. True progress and Understanding takes time, and hard work. I'm putting that shit in for everyone - call me crazy, say what I'm doing is pointless - Cool, it's all good, think what you want to think - but that doesn't remove ANY Validity from what I'm trying to say and get across. Please, just read what I write with an open mind and heart - and NO JUDGEMENT, otherwise you won't be able to get it. My writing is not for everyone. It's only purpose is for Education and Entertainment. Enjoy it, or Learn from it - but don't just Disregard it. It's too valuable to just be thrown away. All information can have a purpose or Value if you're able to find one it. I'm just throwing these thoughts out into the Human Universe to see what the Fuck happens for the sheer Curiosity of it. I hope Curiosity doesn't Kill this Cat...............but if it ever did, that's life. At least I didn't just get Hit by a Car, or Overdose on Heroin...................Worse things could've took me. I live my life as safe as I possibly can. I love being alive and living my life to the fullest, but this is how I have to live to enjoy it. I'm a Thrill Seeker. This is my Parachuting, my Bungee Jumping. Don't be afraid, just Smile, Watch, and maybe even Learn. I've got love for all of you. Peace - Mr. Meowfish

 

[Ziiirp]

@ J. Wallace

Thanks for the valuable post. Moderation is key as with every compound. Justifying every day use for the reason of coming off of opiates is leading the initial intention ad absurdum (and obviously to egomanic delusions as well).

 

[Mr. Meowfish]

I don't feel the need to Justify anything to myself. I live my life how I want and what happens, happens. I enjoy Delusion, and Creating my own Universe. I'm crazy as fuck and openly admit it. Peace my friends. Have fun, and don't be scared to do YOU. - Meowfisherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[oar9fi]

Mr. Meowfish, If you decide to write a book don't forget to hire an editor to fix all of the Randomly capitalized Words like you have in all of your Posts. Also remember that what got LSD banned was people trying to preach it's gospel. There are a lot of religious folks making the laws we are supposed to abide by and they take any threat to their closed minded views quite seriously.

The line between delusion and faith only exists in the mind of those that consider themselves to be on the faith side. I really don't think there is a line, just a big grey area. I had the magical MXE mania with synchronicities etc. but it has passed. Was it real or in my head? It was real to me, but most likely nothing is real.
To get through life though we have to pretend that things are what they appear to be.

When you find a door to something else such as MXE and dissociatives provide, you should protect it and try to keep it to yourself. People who look will find it. There already seem to be a lot of foolish people posting stuff like "I took 300mg at a party and almost died." Those people will ruin it for us all eventually.

If you want to keep it, than keep it like a secret. Between just you and the universe (and the folks in this crazy ass thread, lol.)

 

[vortech]

To get through life though we have to pretend that things are what they appear to be.

My immediate response to this last post by oar9fi is summed up nicely by this quote from the great Reggie Watts:

"The important thing to remember is that this simulation is a good one. It's believable, it's tactile, you can reach out, things are solid, you can move objects from one area to another, you can feel your body, you can say I'd like to go over to this location, you can move this mass of molecules through the air over to another location. At will. That's something you live inside of everyday."
To accompany this quote is an excellent Reddit thread posted yesterday that is filled with heads waxing philosophical on this train of thought http://www.reddit.com/r/QuotesPorn

In lieu of adding any more to this duality between 'delusion' and 'reality', I just want to say thanks to everyone posting in this thread with their unique perspective, for in the end we are creating a very well rounded discussion.

 

[Mr. Meowfish]

I appreciate your advice Oar9fi. You have some valid points that are precisely what I've been remembering/realizing. MXE makes me very optimistic about the open mindedness of your average human, although when I'm not intoxicated I realize this isn't a very likely reality. I really do want to write some sort of book about what I've experienced, but I'm starting to believe that I'd be better off either writing something and distributing it strictly underground via hand to hand exchanges, or I'll just say what I'd like to say via Music where religion has a little less say in controlling the medium and what gets noticed. I do NOT want to be the Timothy Leary of MXE, that's for sure. I don't really care for that guy all that much. I wish that this wasn't the most intelligent way to go about things, but I know deep down that it is, the main stream of Society is probably still a good 10 years away from being willing to even CONSIDER thinking about the concepts that need to be discussed. I'm just going to keep doing my thing, having fun, being safe, enjoying life, writing and rhyming on the daily and just see what I end up for content here in another year or so. I have no clue what will turn out, but I'm excited to share the process and concepts with whoever is qualified to be entertained. Hope everyone had a fun weekend, back to work - Meowfishhh

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I just dosed 20mg's today to see what a light dose would do for therapeutic mood enhancement, and I had the most interesting thought. Not necessarily true, but here it goes. So there are so many black holes in space, also there are super massive black holes, devouring everything that gets into their pull. Stars, planets, everything, sucked and crushed into whatever may be past the event horizon. What if originally there was the source energy, or god, and something shattered this energy or sentient being or force if you see it that way, causing the big bang and everything that we know today. And what if the black holes are just the natural order of things realigning themselves. What if all of this is wrong, and that the black holes are bringing this source energy or being back together the way it should be. What if that is heaven, to be reunited with the stars and the source energy? I have no prexisting definite religious point of view, but this is an interesting thing to think about, and brings to my attention that although what is happening in life and on earth is of great importance to us individually, in the grander scheme of things us being alive and loving, living, killing, hating laughing, and dying, is only a part of the cycle of life in the cycle of earths life, in the cycle of our sun and galaxies life, which is part of a cycle of the universes life, which is just one part of a cycle of the sources life. Time is infinite and so is possibility. I end with that, your thoughts would be appreciated!

Why does MXE always make me think about this sort of shit? not even while i'm on it...but like several days after

 

[freaktech]

How you dose this sustance? I see a lot of mystical experiencies with mxe, but at levels I dose (35 mg oral at once) I only achieve some numbness and a initial phase that is emotionally "euphoric" with another with more depressive thoughts, when the drug effects is close to end. Which would be a good strategy dosage with oral method (dosage or multiples dosages with "x" intervals)?

 

[GolemGolem]

Start with your 35mg, wait till it's running strong and then take another 20-30mg, wait till it's done climbing and take another 20-30 if you feel like it.
For me, the hole is better if you take a while getting there, more coherent.