I'm really, really, really temped to do a fat bump right now. I can't. No, I must resist the urge. This stuff is simply to easy to keep doing, day after day. Fuck! Okay...I'm gonna go make myself something to eat. Gotta stay occupied, gotta stay focused. Wish me luck!
The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine Thread: 9th dose - Tolerance Schmolerance
- Thread starter Thorns Have Roses
- Start date
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!!4iV4HF9R34g
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2011
- Messages
- 1,116
Dude, the intensity and beauty of real awe and splendor never falls to bring me to my knees. Substance aside lol.
I couldn't resist.
I was bagging up a little bit for my friend, threw the rest I had in a vial into a little baggie to give to him. Said fuck it, and did a little bump, must have been only 20mg. That's it though, no more for tonight. See, I knew the entire day as soon as I did a bump I'd be feeling a little regret for breaking this promise I made to myself. Oh well. Now I have nothing left but a gram in an unopened vial. I refuse to open it till this Saturday.
Damn this stuff. Damn it to hell!
I was bagging up a little bit for my friend, threw the rest I had in a vial into a little baggie to give to him. Said fuck it, and did a little bump, must have been only 20mg. That's it though, no more for tonight. See, I knew the entire day as soon as I did a bump I'd be feeling a little regret for breaking this promise I made to myself. Oh well. Now I have nothing left but a gram in an unopened vial. I refuse to open it till this Saturday.
Damn this stuff. Damn it to hell!
Jesusgreen
Bluelight Crew
Send off a sample to http://www.ecstasydata.org/ or another independent lab that'll analyse it for you.
@J.Wallace, I definitely think it'd be worthwhile if you shared your experiences with it being so moreish and compulsive in the Addiction subthread, while it might not be full-blown addiction you're experiencing it'd be good to get some more posts in that thread about the addictive nature of this one, a lot of people are unfortunately underestimating it.
Ondine
Bluelighter
Personally I thought my use of MXE would turn into a serious addiction at one point, but right now, I've almost completely lost interest. Maybe the quality of the MXE I've been getting has been worsening so I haven't been enjoying it as much, but I think what I was looking for in MXE was just a substance that I could snort 
and chillax, enjoy nice weather, lay in bed, whatevs. Every time that I've done a large dose of MXE I've been overcome with the most bizarre and alien thoughts. These are neither pleasant nor are they really that enlightening. The only thing that doing a lot of MXE has made me realize is how bizarre, random and seemingly meaningless the world can become in the m-hole.
For me ketamine is much more euphoric and enjoyable, and I think I'll stick to that as my dissociative of choice, despite the higher price.
Though I do appreciate the way that MXE potentiates opiates.
Not done yet I guess, but definitely slowing down.
and chillax, enjoy nice weather, lay in bed, whatevs. Every time that I've done a large dose of MXE I've been overcome with the most bizarre and alien thoughts. These are neither pleasant nor are they really that enlightening. The only thing that doing a lot of MXE has made me realize is how bizarre, random and seemingly meaningless the world can become in the m-hole.For me ketamine is much more euphoric and enjoyable, and I think I'll stick to that as my dissociative of choice, despite the higher price.
Though I do appreciate the way that MXE potentiates opiates.
Not done yet I guess, but definitely slowing down.
TheAppleCore
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2007
- Messages
- 5,510
Just emerged from a three-day binge on MXE (with breaks for sleep). Yesterday was the third day. I'm not going to glorify that kind of abuse, but for the sake of science I feel that I should report an absence of any discernible negative effect, other than a rise in tolerance. I'm a bit startled -- I had an intuition that I'd end up feeling pretty drained and whacked out, but I actually feel sharper, more positive, and more motivated today than I did before I began the binge. My anxiety levels are at a record low, as well -- usually I get very paranoid and edgy about having an accident whenever I drive, but today I drove very confidently and calmly.
Also, the trips became better as I continued using, with the third day's high being the most exciting and interesting.
Tolerance did rise steeply. I didn't keep track of how much I used on the third day, but I think it took at least twice as much MXE to reach the desired level of intoxication as it did the first day. Also, I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but today my heart seems "relaxed" in the sense that my heartbeat and pulse are not as strong as usual. However, due to my anxiety, I feel that I usually have abnormally high cardiac activity.
Also, the trips became better as I continued using, with the third day's high being the most exciting and interesting.
Tolerance did rise steeply. I didn't keep track of how much I used on the third day, but I think it took at least twice as much MXE to reach the desired level of intoxication as it did the first day. Also, I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but today my heart seems "relaxed" in the sense that my heartbeat and pulse are not as strong as usual. However, due to my anxiety, I feel that I usually have abnormally high cardiac activity.
transitioneer
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 30, 2011
- Messages
- 125
Whether it's your tolerance, or the quality of the mxe you're receiving is one thing... However, when I was regularly using this substance, I noticed no real shift in the general effects felt, besides needing more to feel anything. The quality of the experience never changed or strayed much from the general "longer lasting and with more of a body high than ketamine" effects. I only ordered from one vendor, though I did recieve different batches.
Just seriously watch how high you start going once a tolerance starts to build (granted you're dealing with a decent batch of mxe) as you will reach a point where it's hard to get much, or any effect before you start blacking out. Also remember that MXE lasts fairly long so don't be dumb and stack doses thinking "oh i don't feel much" because the drug is still being metabolized. Just take a break if you start getting too high with doses. There is no withdrawal symptoms from this drug that I experienced after going probably around 2 months, doing up to 500mg of mxe and/or k IM pretty much every day. Definitely 3 or so weeks towards the end where it was everyday, but before that it was probably more like 5-6 days a week, but STILL.
I was forced to "cold turkey" from that and weed (which did give me some withdrawal symptoms in the past such as slight insomnia and fidgeting and a fairly low mood) after I was arrested when I was found by my grandpa blacked out on mxe and he thought I killed myself. Granted my grandpa was most likely extremely drunk and somewhat senile when he made this decision... but when he called the ambulance, they found needles and called the cops. Very bad luck but considering the amount of drugs that got confiscated and the information I was forced to give, I consider myself fairly lucky to be able to write this and not still be in jail :O
I don't think blacking out on MXE will always garner similar results... but if you're blacking out anything can happen (mxe especially, because it's not like ketamine where you will be completely sedated)... and you're just wasting material while further pushing your tolerance up.
So moral of the story is; if you're getting different/undesirable results from your MXE, don't keep pushing the dose up. Just take a 2 week break, there is no physical withdrawal and with a bit of weed and creativity it's not hard to ignore any urges/compulsions.
Just seriously watch how high you start going once a tolerance starts to build (granted you're dealing with a decent batch of mxe) as you will reach a point where it's hard to get much, or any effect before you start blacking out. Also remember that MXE lasts fairly long so don't be dumb and stack doses thinking "oh i don't feel much" because the drug is still being metabolized. Just take a break if you start getting too high with doses. There is no withdrawal symptoms from this drug that I experienced after going probably around 2 months, doing up to 500mg of mxe and/or k IM pretty much every day. Definitely 3 or so weeks towards the end where it was everyday, but before that it was probably more like 5-6 days a week, but STILL.
I was forced to "cold turkey" from that and weed (which did give me some withdrawal symptoms in the past such as slight insomnia and fidgeting and a fairly low mood) after I was arrested when I was found by my grandpa blacked out on mxe and he thought I killed myself. Granted my grandpa was most likely extremely drunk and somewhat senile when he made this decision... but when he called the ambulance, they found needles and called the cops. Very bad luck but considering the amount of drugs that got confiscated and the information I was forced to give, I consider myself fairly lucky to be able to write this and not still be in jail :O
I don't think blacking out on MXE will always garner similar results... but if you're blacking out anything can happen (mxe especially, because it's not like ketamine where you will be completely sedated)... and you're just wasting material while further pushing your tolerance up.
So moral of the story is; if you're getting different/undesirable results from your MXE, don't keep pushing the dose up. Just take a 2 week break, there is no physical withdrawal and with a bit of weed and creativity it's not hard to ignore any urges/compulsions.
I gave in. I did a huge bump. I didn't even weigh it out, I just did a huge bump, enough to go into a hole. It'll be hitting me soon.
Compulsive dosing? Absolutely. Mania? It's there. Delusional thinking? Hasn't stopped. I need to lay off this drug. I'm beginning to hole as I type this...I know this doesn't belong in this thread, so I'm going to abstain from writing a lengthy post. But people, please...I think a few of us that have been posting here, need to stop doing this chemical for at least a week or two, we need to get our heads back in order. I feel as though we are all experiencing the same symptoms, the same negative mental side effects and us being on this forum is the universes way of showing us we need a break from it, and we can all help each other through it.
Fuck, but I feel like everything makes sense while I'm in this hole. Everything feel like it falls into place so easily, and the way I want it to. MxE makes me feel like I can figure stuff out on my own, in the way that is required to achieve the best results.
Okay. I'm rambling. This is not aiding this thread. I'm done. I need to stop. I apologize to the mods, especially you JesusGreen. Please don't delete this post. Let it be a warning sign for people reading this thread. /end what has become an MxE hole rant.
Compulsive dosing? Absolutely. Mania? It's there. Delusional thinking? Hasn't stopped. I need to lay off this drug. I'm beginning to hole as I type this...I know this doesn't belong in this thread, so I'm going to abstain from writing a lengthy post. But people, please...I think a few of us that have been posting here, need to stop doing this chemical for at least a week or two, we need to get our heads back in order. I feel as though we are all experiencing the same symptoms, the same negative mental side effects and us being on this forum is the universes way of showing us we need a break from it, and we can all help each other through it.
Fuck, but I feel like everything makes sense while I'm in this hole. Everything feel like it falls into place so easily, and the way I want it to. MxE makes me feel like I can figure stuff out on my own, in the way that is required to achieve the best results.
Okay. I'm rambling. This is not aiding this thread. I'm done. I need to stop. I apologize to the mods, especially you JesusGreen. Please don't delete this post. Let it be a warning sign for people reading this thread. /end what has become an MxE hole rant.
brainticket
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2012
- Messages
- 8
^ Haha. Classic. So anyway, I decided to take a week off after every day use and when I went back on on the weekend nothing was different. The magic was still gone. The tolerance mostly still there. Shame.
brainticket
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2012
- Messages
- 8
And I reckon there is also cross tolerance from MXE to other psychedelics. Of course, YMMV.
doppelgänger1
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2012
- Messages
- 160
I read sublingually requires lower doses than insufflated. Which dose sublingually equals 40-50mg insufflated?
t6apb
Bluelighter
haha! couldnt of described it better
IamMe90
Bluelighter
I don't think that there should be any meaningful cross tolerance between MXE and other psychedelics, they work on completely different receptor systems. Go ahead and use psychedelics instead, they're healthier and not as manic
pharmakos
Bluelighter
dissociative binge hangovers come a few days later for me
Help?!?!
Bluelighter
I feel bad but this thread always makes me laugh a bit. I guess when it comes down to maybe i'm simply lucky, who knows but one thing I do know is that MXE is the type of chemical, that if you know you contain little to no willpower, than IMO you probably shouldn't use it unless you can binge, run out, and manage not to just buy again for sometime(even this in my mind is not healthy though mentally or physically...). It'll sit there and you'll continue to trick yourself(comically I find its not a trick but you'll begin to delude yourself that you NEED this state or your better in it rather than out, just like chems like cheroin and cocaine both of which for certain users will eliminate anxiety and depression whilst under the effects IMO especially like stated for certain people)that the benefits of using some random fairly unknown chem daily is a good thing. I mean I can't tell you outright its technically bad but I follow a regime that engages that chemical use regardless of the chemical, that constant or near constant use is bad so to me in my mind, it'll never help you(fuck though, atleast MXE has that sexy afterglow that keeps you floating for a second instead of a terrible shaky, sweaty crash and inevitable return)! This is probably actually another reason we let it trick us, we think its different somehow...thats always been funny to me though, people are always ready to make an exception to the rule in one sense but never for another that would be wrong o' course! IMO with MXE and other diss's, you need to center yourself always and remain at a distant from them. Diss's remind me of in a metaphoric sense of the story of Icarus, like Icarus finds flying close to the sun is alluring and astounding but the moment you lose your sense, you will come to close, and fall. MXE use is just like this, you will be allured and want to use it everyday, but you simply must have the understanding and will power to know this isn't the way to go. Things like mania are nice and fun, but mania is not playful and engaging to much into the delusion will make you fall quickly. I used to wonder why people would always talk about the delusions being so real(people will tell you "You'll believe 'em you just didn't dose high enough" but I say fuck that, if you knew my doses you would probably think I exaggerate as is...), the same way I would wonder about people talking about certain states in the psychedelic realm. I have dosed high, probably to high at times and yes I felt like I had found truth or some secret, but somewhere there was also always the foundation of realistic truth I know is always there, the one that says "Maybe theres some truth in this but....look to hard and the lines will become blurred into whatever you want/need them to be..this rule in life is eternal...!" . This is how life is, you look to hard and the patterns you want will emerge. IDK I guess I won't act like the thought doesn't pass my mind sometimes often "MXE time?!?" especially when something cool is going on but I know I have to adhere to the rules and I always give myself something to look forward to, so instead of sadness that there will be no "MXE time!!@" right now I know that there will be a fucking grand "MXE lime!!#" flying right for me in the future. IDK, I guess it simply always helps me to have the foundation that there will always be more time, that way there is no bullshit "But hang on bro this is just the perfect time and umm...ummm..come on...come on...need another excuse to pound MXE!!!!" sort of thoughts that I know are just stupid excuse sourcing. That sort of shit should be a banable offense in life...I sometimes think. 
I hope this may help someone who is trapped underneath the rock, been there before myself(not with MXE, I mean I think way back when I did use it a couple of times actually for a week or so in a row, but especially now since time has passed those are just binges to me, which I will also say are acceptable to just as long as you hang on to that granule of truth that there is always another time coming and are able to stop yourself before to long), you just need to figure out the rock is hollow and you always had the power to stand, you were just disillusioned previously....and I guess i'm just getting tired of people making excuses for everything. Yeah cool bro, MXE probably does make life nice, just like a fat shot in a vein will, its just one makes you shit, vomit, and have a seizure in body shakes after a while of using, so its harder to fully justify fucking something like that up all the time(plus we know heroin use ain't like a health conscious party for your bod!). I guess maybe I should point out that I feel that unless you have serve clinical depression that has been untreatable through multiple style of counseling, than you shouldn't be downing meds daily for your depression, your just leaving something unresolved in you, that your not ready to fix yet so in essence its not even really "depression"(just hopes this will help people understand Help's demented view of things, that I go full in, or at least try to as hard as I can, I remember I saw someone who i've watched post a million times over the years just other day, thinking they had certain knowledge's enjoying watching them grow as well but they would just smash my perception's by posting something like "Yo's psyches is worth it dawg but diss's ain't believe me I tried!", yeah sounds like thats your opinion not a god damn fact and at the end of the day it is sad to me that people will see the light in psyches((and when they post, I feel like they see past the illusions of boundaries and how they do nothing more than serve as personal prisons, that they had been gifted that beautiful knowledge by psyches))but than crush the light of something else that may not have helped them but could help another). I find MXE similar to AC, I have anxiety, MXE eliminates it nearly fully(its actually down right weird to me and IMO how MXE can cause a state of knowing calm like benzos almost at times...)and leaves me feeling refreshed the next day(so do psyches in a sense but not this weird and strongly)rather than maybe a bit loopy or whatever but I don't do it everyday just because of my pussy feelings about daily chem use(thank god for that though! I would have lost the plot and the game long before without it!)and because I always hold that knowledge that there will be another day and in fact i'll plan that day to be even better than this day could of, which always allows my loud mind to rest because it knows its the truth. Oh, its also my opinion that chems like MXE that contain anti-anxiety and anti-depressant effects will lose their prowess the further you fuck them with your use, I guess you can up the dose but this thread is actually beginning to show that people chasing the dream can't forever, I mean I guess you guys could start dosing a gram at once so it still tickles the NDMA receptors in that old way, but I bet the dopamine affinity would cause trouble with that, so maybe just with that thought, it could put some of you chasers to bed. I absolutely hate making these posts but I hate to see people like J.W. chasing some dream that I may not be able to say doesn't exist for(I can tell you the dream wasn't reality for me though...........)him, but I certainly can say I have my doubts and hope to help someone.....
To humanize myself and not seem like some judgmental asshole I want anyone reading to know that in essence I am nothing more or less than a piece of shit. So if a piece of shit can manage to not use every single day even though he wants to maybe you, who is intrinsically(?)better than me can manage to...eh? Also to help you understand, I fucked MXE up. I just managed to fuck it only on weekends and rarely go on binges(for reference I don't consider dosing once, than going to sleep and waking up/dosing to be binging, a binge to me means that I will go from morning to night with no sleep and it works for all chemicals..)because of my personal feelings(I can't really even say whether me who uses in his manner or you who uses in your manner is right but I can't help but...). So in conclusion if you are doubting your use, than listen to the doubts rather than the manic euphoria, I mean which do you think a person would choose to roll with anyways? Hard/difficult knowledge or outrageous good feelings? Last time I made a post similar to this I was told via the PM's title something to the effect of "The post was appreciated but..."and it was probably because most times I can be to harsh or come off as harsh/uncaring when I simply am here to do what I always was, help. Nothing more, nothing less. I guess even my rationale mind though could never rationalize using a random unknown chem(really what helped set me off too is this whole "Yo bros, I thinks this is not even MXE...." I mean WTF, its already shady enough were downing this shit but it might not even be what I think it is? Sure this is the risk we take with RC's but with MXE though its been a bit rampant IMO)daily......does that not seem crazy or am I really the one just deluding myself right into this thought vein because my mind doesn't like daily use? I can't tell but I also can help but not speak especially now after reading something like Walls post. I need to let you know that it saddens me to see anyone so deplorably weak bowing to a chemical when I know you contain all the power you need, your simply not utilizing it properly and maybe never had. MXE is just a key that fits your hole for right now, but eventually you will come to understand that the door was always open, you just never were able to notice it before. Thats all life is about IMO, perception. If JG or any mod feels this doesn't belong then send it on to hell or move it where ever it is appropriate, its hard to tell since my previous post was similar minus the humanization on my part, but I can't see how a post of encouragement to those faltering to stand again could be discouraged wherever really, especially on a HC site like BL, though obviously rules are important and like I stated earlier we can't break for anything or we'll begin with the exceptions to everything! Last thing on this fuck damn long ramble....I actually disdain posting philosophical jibber jabber like this but damn if it can scathe even one poster's armor thats floundering around, than it was worth it the disdain and anguish for me.....
IMO with MXE and other diss's, you need to center yourself always and remain at a distant from them. Diss's remind me of in a metaphoric sense of the story of Icarus, like Icarus finds flying close to the sun is alluring and astounding but the moment you lose your sense, you will come to close, and fall. MXE use is just like this, you will be allured and want to use it everyday, but you simply must have the understanding and will power to know this isn't the way to go. Things like mania are nice and fun, but mania is not playful and engaging to much into the delusion will make you fall quickly. I used to wonder why people would always talk about the delusions being so real(people will tell you "You'll believe 'em you just didn't dose high enough" but I say fuck that, if you knew my doses you would probably think I exaggerate as is...), the same way I would wonder about people talking about certain states in the psychedelic realm. I have dosed high, probably to high at times and yes I felt like I had found truth or some secret, but somewhere there was also always the foundation of realistic truth I know is always there, the one that says "Maybe theres some truth in this but....look to hard and the lines will become blurred into whatever you want/need them to be..this rule in life is eternal...!" . This is how life is, you look to hard and the patterns you want will emerge. IDK I guess I won't act like the thought doesn't pass my mind sometimes often "MXE time?!?" especially when something cool is going on but I know I have to adhere to the rules and I always give myself something to look forward to, so instead of sadness that there will be no "MXE time!!@" right now I know that there will be a fucking grand "MXE lime!!#" flying right for me in the future. IDK, I guess it simply always helps me to have the foundation that there will always be more time, that way there is no bullshit "But hang on bro this is just the perfect time and umm...ummm..come on...come on...need another excuse to pound MXE!!!!" sort of thoughts that I know are just stupid excuse sourcing. That sort of shit should be a banable offense in life...I sometimes think. I hope this may help someone who is trapped underneath the rock, been there before myself(not with MXE, I mean I think way back when I did use it a couple of times actually for a week or so in a row, but especially now since time has passed those are just binges to me, which I will also say are acceptable to just as long as you hang on to that granule of truth that there is always another time coming and are able to stop yourself before to long), you just need to figure out the rock is hollow and you always had the power to stand, you were just disillusioned previously....and I guess i'm just getting tired of people making excuses for everything. Yeah cool bro, MXE probably does make life nice, just like a fat shot in a vein will, its just one makes you shit, vomit, and have a seizure in body shakes after a while of using, so its harder to fully justify fucking something like that up all the time(plus we know heroin use ain't like a health conscious party for your bod!). I guess maybe I should point out that I feel that unless you have serve clinical depression that has been untreatable through multiple style of counseling, than you shouldn't be downing meds daily for your depression, your just leaving something unresolved in you, that your not ready to fix yet so in essence its not even really "depression"(just hopes this will help people understand Help's demented view of things, that I go full in, or at least try to as hard as I can, I remember I saw someone who i've watched post a million times over the years just other day, thinking they had certain knowledge's enjoying watching them grow as well but they would just smash my perception's by posting something like "Yo's psyches is worth it dawg but diss's ain't believe me I tried!", yeah sounds like thats your opinion not a god damn fact and at the end of the day it is sad to me that people will see the light in psyches((and when they post, I feel like they see past the illusions of boundaries and how they do nothing more than serve as personal prisons, that they had been gifted that beautiful knowledge by psyches))but than crush the light of something else that may not have helped them but could help another). I find MXE similar to AC, I have anxiety, MXE eliminates it nearly fully(its actually down right weird to me and IMO how MXE can cause a state of knowing calm like benzos almost at times...)and leaves me feeling refreshed the next day(so do psyches in a sense but not this weird and strongly)rather than maybe a bit loopy or whatever but I don't do it everyday just because of my pussy feelings about daily chem use(thank god for that though! I would have lost the plot and the game long before without it!)and because I always hold that knowledge that there will be another day and in fact i'll plan that day to be even better than this day could of, which always allows my loud mind to rest because it knows its the truth. Oh, its also my opinion that chems like MXE that contain anti-anxiety and anti-depressant effects will lose their prowess the further you fuck them with your use, I guess you can up the dose but this thread is actually beginning to show that people chasing the dream can't forever, I mean I guess you guys could start dosing a gram at once so it still tickles the NDMA receptors in that old way, but I bet the dopamine affinity would cause trouble with that, so maybe just with that thought, it could put some of you chasers to bed. I absolutely hate making these posts but I hate to see people like J.W. chasing some dream that I may not be able to say doesn't exist for(I can tell you the dream wasn't reality for me though...........)him, but I certainly can say I have my doubts and hope to help someone.....To humanize myself and not seem like some judgmental asshole I want anyone reading to know that in essence I am nothing more or less than a piece of shit. So if a piece of shit can manage to not use every single day even though he wants to maybe you, who is intrinsically(
?)better than me can manage to...eh? Also to help you understand, I fucked MXE up. I just managed to fuck it only on weekends and rarely go on binges(for reference I don't consider dosing once, than going to sleep and waking up/dosing to be binging, a binge to me means that I will go from morning to night with no sleep and it works for all chemicals..)because of my personal feelings(I can't really even say whether me who uses in his manner or you who uses in your manner is right but I can't help but...). So in conclusion if you are doubting your use, than listen to the doubts rather than the manic euphoria, I mean which do you think a person would choose to roll with anyways? Hard/difficult knowledge or outrageous good feelings? Last time I made a post similar to this I was told via the PM's title something to the effect of "The post was appreciated but..."and it was probably because most times I can be to harsh or come off as harsh/uncaring when I simply am here to do what I always was, help. Nothing more, nothing less. I guess even my rationale mind though could never rationalize using a random unknown chem(really what helped set me off too is this whole "Yo bros, I thinks this is not even MXE...." I mean WTF, its already shady enough were downing this shit but it might not even be what I think it is? Sure this is the risk we take with RC's but with MXE though its been a bit rampant IMO)daily......does that not seem crazy or am I really the one just deluding myself right into this thought vein because my mind doesn't like daily use? I can't tell but I also can help but not speak especially now after reading something like Walls post. I need to let you know that it saddens me to see anyone so deplorably weak bowing to a chemical when I know you contain all the power you need, your simply not utilizing it properly and maybe never had. MXE is just a key that fits your hole for right now, but eventually you will come to understand that the door was always open, you just never were able to notice it before. Thats all life is about IMO, perception. If JG or any mod feels this doesn't belong then send it on to hell or move it where ever it is appropriate, its hard to tell since my previous post was similar minus the humanization on my part, but I can't see how a post of encouragement to those faltering to stand again could be discouraged wherever really, especially on a HC site like BL, though obviously rules are important and like I stated earlier we can't break for anything or we'll begin with the exceptions to everything! Last thing on this fuck damn long ramble....I actually disdain posting philosophical jibber jabber like this but damn if it can scathe even one poster's armor thats floundering around, than it was worth it the disdain and anguish for me.....psood0nym
Bluelighter
^I read all of that. That's all.
idontdothizz
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2009
- Messages
- 185
Love reading these as I start to fall into a hole.
On a scientific note, I think body temperature might be a factor in the experience.
When I had a fever and did MXE I received no effects at up to 80mg. Weird.
On a scientific note, I think body temperature might be a factor in the experience.
When I had a fever and did MXE I received no effects at up to 80mg. Weird.
TheAppleCore
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2007
- Messages
- 5,510
+1.
Gosh, yes, MXE can be devilishly compulsive. Usually I am satisfied by a single trip, and patiently wait an entire week to use again. The reason I used for three days straight this past weekend was because, every time I would begin to peak, I would somehow end up being distracted from the high. Unexpected problems kept arising, people started showing up at my door, etc. So I would end up spending pretty much the entire trip doing tedious chores, or talking to people that I didn't really want to deal with. It was so horribly frustrating -- just barely beginning to reach that glorious, euphoric, magical peak -- and then I get pulled away from it, never to come back.
I still haven't gotten the uninterrupted trip I wanted. And I am amazingly devastated by it... it's crazy.
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