the best I ever had...

[Furnace]

I would rather write a song, a lyric or a story
that would express how your leaving me made me feel but I'd feel better and more true to myself if I just wrote...
----
When you left me, it was so sudden.
I didn't have a chance to say all those things that made you so special to me.
All the times you listened,
how you held me when I needed support.
The way we laughed, and smiled at each other.
I think back now and I remember some of the bad things I did when you and I were together.
How I used you and manipulated you into doing or getting things that I wanted.
I was immature and I was so naive of how I was hurting you.
I recall one of the last times I saw you.
You talked about the future, and I was worried
about how it would be without you.
You took care of me,
hurt me (when necessary),
and showed me the importance of respect.
I miss you a lot now.
and I think about you.
And the lessons I've learned that came with your departure,
remind me everyday of how I fucked up over and over again.
I love you and can't wait to see you again.

 

[Ms PeachyBreeks]

*hugs*

 

[E-girl]

even though its sort of sad, i read what you wrote, and i wish that my ex would feel this way about me someday... even if i never know it.
it's one thing to fuck up. it's quite another to admit to it.

You talked about the future, and I was worried
about how it would be without you.
....that shows character. and a hint of old feelings. i hope things work out with this person. someone wise once said, "everyone deserves a second chance... no one deserves more than that." use it wisely. regret is a sad thing.
[ 10 June 2002: Message edited by: E-girl ]

 

[Furnace]

thanks for your support.
At first when I wrote this I was thinking about my ex, a great girl who I lost, but then, I slowly started thinking about my grandpa who died last year around this time.
It's funny. I wrote this, and then I couldn't stop thinking about him. I felt horribly shitty all day. I went to my granny's house that night, and I went up to her and asked her how she was doin'. She nodded up and down like she was alright, but as soon as she did that, she started shaking her head and crying. My mom and sister-in-law were close by, but didn't see her tear up. I held her for a bit, and even though there's a language barrier between us, I told her that I had spent the day thinking about him too. She cried a little more, and then contained herself when she went to talk to my mom and sis-in-law.
I went home that night and couldn't stop thinking about my stupid mistakes and my fucked up pride.
It's funny how two people you've lost can evoke similar feelings.
I wish I could talk to the both of them right now.