i've managed to stabilise myself on 200mg of IR tramadol (100mg b.d) plus 150SR, bd as well. so 500mg of tramadol throughout the day. and i'm still pretty uncomfortable. RLS hasn't really gone away at all, not getting my bacolofen refilled yet is part the reason for that; i don't know why i haven't done that. the last place you'll find me when i'm feeling this uncomfortable is out in public. it's been a struggle to even come in for fresh fruit and shit lately![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
anxiety hasn't been much of an issue thankfully, it's mainly depression and the want to get high at the moment. a few certain aches and pains have triggered the want to use a few times. that's usually when i just pack a small cone, smoke it and put some music on and take my mind from those thoughts. so while the cravings are definitely knocking at my door they're not as bad as i thought either - but it's only the first week. next week and the week after will be the trying times, i'm certain about that.
i'm back at my friends during the week as has been the case the last couple weeks. i haven't officially moved in but i crash here normally monday through to friday or saturday. it works out well for both my friend and i because he's just split up with a gf of 5 years and is pretty lonely without me around and i'm a bit the same in my situation.
i still love my solitary confinement. that's what the past couple weekends have been for me, as well as through the day when i'm home alone and my friend is at work. i get all day by myself, minus classes, and then good company in the evening. we still go about our own routines as we would so we're not throwing each other off. except i'm the unlucky bastard doing the fucking washing up everyday
i don't care because i'm not paying rent yet and those simple daily tasks bring back a bit of reality after you've neglected them while being all fucked up.
my appetite has been the same as well. it hasn't shot up as usual and my sweet tooth hasn't come out to feed yet. the areas where i've lost weight over the last couple of months are starting to tone up again since i'm a bit more active and lifting again. i'm still not doing anywhere near enough as i should be, probably because of the weed i've been smoking. give me another week and i hope to be lifting weights everyday again; morning, lunch and afternoon sessions.
speaking of weed, i'm gonna go have a smoke now and maybe head out for a hair cut that i'm in need of.
till next time.
anxiety hasn't been much of an issue thankfully, it's mainly depression and the want to get high at the moment. a few certain aches and pains have triggered the want to use a few times. that's usually when i just pack a small cone, smoke it and put some music on and take my mind from those thoughts. so while the cravings are definitely knocking at my door they're not as bad as i thought either - but it's only the first week. next week and the week after will be the trying times, i'm certain about that.
i'm back at my friends during the week as has been the case the last couple weeks. i haven't officially moved in but i crash here normally monday through to friday or saturday. it works out well for both my friend and i because he's just split up with a gf of 5 years and is pretty lonely without me around and i'm a bit the same in my situation.
i still love my solitary confinement. that's what the past couple weekends have been for me, as well as through the day when i'm home alone and my friend is at work. i get all day by myself, minus classes, and then good company in the evening. we still go about our own routines as we would so we're not throwing each other off. except i'm the unlucky bastard doing the fucking washing up everyday
i don't care because i'm not paying rent yet and those simple daily tasks bring back a bit of reality after you've neglected them while being all fucked up.my appetite has been the same as well. it hasn't shot up as usual and my sweet tooth hasn't come out to feed yet. the areas where i've lost weight over the last couple of months are starting to tone up again since i'm a bit more active and lifting again. i'm still not doing anywhere near enough as i should be, probably because of the weed i've been smoking. give me another week and i hope to be lifting weights everyday again; morning, lunch and afternoon sessions.
speaking of weed, i'm gonna go have a smoke now and maybe head out for a hair cut that i'm in need of.
till next time.
