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The Anticipation

Papaverium

Papaverium

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 16, 2014
Messages
2,663
Location
Battling Opioid Use disorder in Vancouver BC
That feeling you get deep in your gut when you know you are about to go pick up. That warm, tingly, sweaty-palmed, heart pounding excitement that your brain throws at you when your dealer texts you back with good news.
And don't try to tell me you don't get like that too...

Do you hate it or love it?

I know for me, it's a love/hate relationship... It's so painful to have to wait once the adventure is set up, but you know what you are waiting for in the end. It makes me feel like puking sometimes. Fingers tapping, eyes constantly looking at that notification light on your phone to see if it turns anything but the red colour it displays. Man, just typing that makes me feel like a fiend. It's depressing, but it's so fun... Well it used to be fun. It's not even fun anymore, but I still get just as antsy every time I know I'm gonna go grab. It's basically like it has become a part of the ritual of using.
"The build up before the drop" so to speak.
 
If I want something fast I never text anymore, I'll always just call, ask if the person is good and if they say yeah, then I'll head over and pick up.

Don't really get any physical reactions either (then again I've never been dopesick or anything like that) but I do feel happy if I want something and it's available, I will pretty much automatically re-write my to do list if that's the case: priority 1) get drugs, and priority 2) everything else.
 
I haven't gotten H off the street since early 2013... Nowadays I prefer mail order drugs.

Back in the day it always sucked waiting, because with bags we never knew if we were gonna get ripped off or not (rural areas its more common)

Really shitty buying H outside the tri state area so eventually I just stopped. Wasn't worth the hassle 1/2 the time
 
i know dem feels ^.^
I used to get the anticipation effect happening in super heavy mode back in the day when i was a coke fiend.
I swear it was like, just knowing i am on my way to score, would entirely develop another drug inside myself. sometimes my pupils would even fluctuate in size when i was THAT worked up to collect my package/s.
 
The anticipation kills me because I'm impatient, especially when they fuckaround and waste your time. It shouldn't take hours unless they gotta re up in which case they could just tell you. Having multiple connections solves this problem usually.

But when they finally show up its like the world doesn't seem so awful, lol.
 
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