i think about it all the time. who i am in this very existence. i seem to be a collection of experiences in a perpetual learning mode. there's always something for me to discover with every day that pasts.
i am a man of simple taste, just about to take on the most important phase in my life but i'm burdened by the weight of experimentation. the endless possibilities of trying new things be it new hobbies or new drugs has always kept me interested in this vicious cycle we call life. it only gets older the more the sun rises and sets and i'm only getting colder and it's lonely.
i've found things to accompany me on my journey such as trying new food, activities and drugs but the peak of my interest resides in the perpetual expansion of my own consciousness. i've consumed many mind altering drugs that have helped me in their own ways, most notably the hallucinogens, however, i still find fun in the less psychedelic drugs that focus more on mental and physical comfort. cannabis, valium, kratom, LSD, MDxx, mushrooms, DMT, n2O, ketamine and DXM have all helped me in their own ways.
i've come to place a serious chain upon my drug use to stay clear of abuse so i smoke weed when i believe it'll suit my mind right and have found more enjoyment in smoking only in the evenings and in combination with other drugs. valium has helped me in many ways including freeing me of anxiety when i'm too high or providing comforting relaxation and sedation when my mind needs it most. alcohol has always helped me silently relax in my mind but also loosen my guard so that i am able to have normal conversations with 'normal' people. i've grown to love kratom for its sedating and euphoric properties since it provides the perfect vibe for reflection after a stressful week along my journey of life though i do not take it often, i am aware of staying away from developing a serious habit.
hallucinogens have impacted me mentally the most out of them all in particular, LSD has inspired me to reach the higher me and focus on radiating powerful energy outwards while maintaining happiness within me most. it has shown me what life can be and how easily my own thoughts and spiritual awareness can shape my reality. mushrooms have positively impacted my appreciation for mother nature and funnily enough, i've stopped littering :D. MDxx has given me a glimpse of the romantic side of life in its most commonly referred to form i.e love. i've realized that everyone deserves love in some form or the other from my family to my most hated enemy since we are all from different backgrounds and deserve positive energy in our lives. DMT has desensitized me to death and opened my mind to an entirely new dimension of bliss and everlasting joy which gives me the idea that this is the place i aspire to reach here on earth so that i can ascend to the heavens and spend everlasting life wandering the universe in its entirety. the dissociative side of hallucinogens are still very strange to me as they seem to focus on my past and current states of mind in more depth than psychedelics. i have learned much from tripping and i am ever thankful for the experiences i've been allowed to endure over the last 5 years. i truly think i've become a better, more positive person.
without drug influence i've been learning more and more about the social aspect of life and maintaining relationships through interactions with those i consider my closest friends. i would like to think i am happy with where i stand in life but always seem to thirst for another higher feeling that i can't ever seem to find. i may be looking too deeply within myself but i can't help but search for the things that i think are missing. i've come a long way from feeling very insecure and shy to becoming very outspoken and confident with the person i've grown to be and truly believe only positive things are to come my way - at least, this is the mindset i try to maintain so that a positive outcome is always seen and lived.
i've grown to love food, sport, exercise, expanding knowledge, meeting new people, flirting with girls, enjoying good drink in the right setting and finding new music and movies to enjoy. i believe i have equipped myself with sufficient good vibes to continue the journey of life and though i have thought of suicide, i have learned to rise above the darkness so that i am able to see clearly.
i am a man of simple taste, just about to take on the most important phase in my life but i'm burdened by the weight of experimentation. the endless possibilities of trying new things be it new hobbies or new drugs has always kept me interested in this vicious cycle we call life. it only gets older the more the sun rises and sets and i'm only getting colder and it's lonely.
i've found things to accompany me on my journey such as trying new food, activities and drugs but the peak of my interest resides in the perpetual expansion of my own consciousness. i've consumed many mind altering drugs that have helped me in their own ways, most notably the hallucinogens, however, i still find fun in the less psychedelic drugs that focus more on mental and physical comfort. cannabis, valium, kratom, LSD, MDxx, mushrooms, DMT, n2O, ketamine and DXM have all helped me in their own ways.
i've come to place a serious chain upon my drug use to stay clear of abuse so i smoke weed when i believe it'll suit my mind right and have found more enjoyment in smoking only in the evenings and in combination with other drugs. valium has helped me in many ways including freeing me of anxiety when i'm too high or providing comforting relaxation and sedation when my mind needs it most. alcohol has always helped me silently relax in my mind but also loosen my guard so that i am able to have normal conversations with 'normal' people. i've grown to love kratom for its sedating and euphoric properties since it provides the perfect vibe for reflection after a stressful week along my journey of life though i do not take it often, i am aware of staying away from developing a serious habit.
hallucinogens have impacted me mentally the most out of them all in particular, LSD has inspired me to reach the higher me and focus on radiating powerful energy outwards while maintaining happiness within me most. it has shown me what life can be and how easily my own thoughts and spiritual awareness can shape my reality. mushrooms have positively impacted my appreciation for mother nature and funnily enough, i've stopped littering :D. MDxx has given me a glimpse of the romantic side of life in its most commonly referred to form i.e love. i've realized that everyone deserves love in some form or the other from my family to my most hated enemy since we are all from different backgrounds and deserve positive energy in our lives. DMT has desensitized me to death and opened my mind to an entirely new dimension of bliss and everlasting joy which gives me the idea that this is the place i aspire to reach here on earth so that i can ascend to the heavens and spend everlasting life wandering the universe in its entirety. the dissociative side of hallucinogens are still very strange to me as they seem to focus on my past and current states of mind in more depth than psychedelics. i have learned much from tripping and i am ever thankful for the experiences i've been allowed to endure over the last 5 years. i truly think i've become a better, more positive person.
without drug influence i've been learning more and more about the social aspect of life and maintaining relationships through interactions with those i consider my closest friends. i would like to think i am happy with where i stand in life but always seem to thirst for another higher feeling that i can't ever seem to find. i may be looking too deeply within myself but i can't help but search for the things that i think are missing. i've come a long way from feeling very insecure and shy to becoming very outspoken and confident with the person i've grown to be and truly believe only positive things are to come my way - at least, this is the mindset i try to maintain so that a positive outcome is always seen and lived.
i've grown to love food, sport, exercise, expanding knowledge, meeting new people, flirting with girls, enjoying good drink in the right setting and finding new music and movies to enjoy. i believe i have equipped myself with sufficient good vibes to continue the journey of life and though i have thought of suicide, i have learned to rise above the darkness so that i am able to see clearly.