• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Angry Thread: Debt Until Death...

Status
Not open for further replies.
shit worthless girlfriend

oh fuck fuck fuck. i just very almost completely lost it in a very public place. i've not done this for nearly a year, and the fact i've done it over the age of 3 is embarrassing.

i've made some stupid financial decisions recently to pay for a trip for my boyf and i as a birthday present. was still feeling guilty about not having anything actual to give him on the day, which is tomorrow, not anymore.

it turns out that i'm inconveniencing him by taking him away as he's not got any spending money cos he booked another trip to visit some mates (planned well after we planned our own trip) at a similar time. i don't want to make him feel guilty about his bad financial situation or visiting his mates but this is just taking the piss. it makes me feel like a meal ticket, and if i don't pay out enough i'm the one that suffers, not him.

we split up for a year because of his ridiculous double standards between me and his mates and my feeling like a meal ticket and it broke him so i don't understand how he can still behave like this. and no i've not, and do not plan to, threaten to dump him about it.

we haven't been anywhere together for 6 years so i just want us to have a good time while we're away, i guess thats a lot more important to me as i've paid for it. the only way i guarantee that now is if i pay even more, but i need to pay my january rent.

it seems theres nothing i can do but feel hurt and worthless. at least it only took a cig this time to get the massive weight off my chest and the heartrate down, means my mental state is much better than it was.

i'm worried i'm just gonna fuck up his birthday now too, use it a an excuse to get on the sauce early and binge. i feel like i've brought this on myself with my stupid desire to go away with my boyfriend.
 
Wanting to go away with your boyfriend is not a stupid desire! So you paid for this trip for his birthday, then he planned another trip with his mates afterwards and is now moaning at you as he won't have spending money on the trip you bought him as a present? :X

You've done nothing wrong, he's acting like a dick. Think you need to tell him how hurt and upset you feel and how much the trip away means to you, and how you can't afford his spending money on top of paying for his trip, as you need to pay your rent - and if he doesn't understand, he doesn't deserve you. Simples. (Ofc I know things are never simple in real life, but you get me)

Nothing worse than getting someone a present that isn't appreciated at all and being made to feel bad for it :( hope you feel better soon <3
 
Take meeeee instead, I would appreciate it 100% :D !

But like effie said, he sounds like he's being abit of a dick to me, especially since you booked it first. He's putting his mates before his girlfriend, sounds out of order to me, you haven't done anything wrong.
 
Aw chinup, That's no way to feel. Sometimes people can be really inconsiderate of others feelings.

I hope things work out and just remember, you're not worthless. You're a very thoughtful girlfriend and a lovely person. He should be grateful.
 
chinup said:
oh fuck fuck fuck. i just very almost completely lost it in a very public place. i've not done this for nearly a year, and the fact i've done it over the age of 3 is embarrassing.
Click to expand...

No it's not. The fact that you didn't lose it, however is very good indeed. :)

Hope he sees sense soon. Having been the consummate Dickhead Boyfriend myself in the past, it sounds like he's taking you for granted but don't allow that to affect your sense of self-worth in any way, OK?
 
thanks so much guys. you are all right and having some sensible outside perspective helps a lot.

i feel stupid because i knew going away would be a financial strain and i should have been less impatient about it. i feel guilty about imposing a huge expense on him. but yeah, he has to assume some responsibility for how much of a strain its going to cause him rather than blame me. but then i have always, ALWAYS, bailed him out, so i've conditioned him to expect this.
 
Did he know you'd booked it and had paid for it before he arranged it with his friends ? Cause that would be completely out of order :(. You should come first imo !
 
yes he did know. his excuse is that his mates were adamant to go then, group decision etc etc. so i know it was go then or don't go at all and i don't ever want him to have to be forced to choose between me and his mates, which is why i didn't put my foot down about the obvious financial problems it would cause.

i don't think i should come first, just feeling considered at some point would be fine by me.
 
There's that most wonderful and pure moment in your life when you realise you don't know what the fuck is going on. You look back on your life and can't believe it actually happened. It's like a watching a film and you're screaming at yourself to change but you can't do fuck all (because it's a film).

Can't dwell on it too long because you have to learn your fucking lines for tomorrow which, surprise surprise, are mighty fucking similar to the lines you read yesterday.
 
Aw Don. Hope things get better

In other news: I still can't find my passport. Where the fuck did I put it? This can pose a serious problem.
 
It's just my mind has deteriorated a wee bit in the past week or so and I can't really talk to my 'support network' because I can't bring myself to report regression.

It will pass :)

How urgently do you need your passport?
 
Hopefully soon. Its mandatory I have it for an interview I'm hoping to get.


You know we're here for you. Not exactly a support network but several people in EADD helped me through some very very hard times. If it weren't for some on here I don't see how I could have made it through with out some serious scars. I'm forever grateful to several BL'ers and their amazing compassion and friendship.
 
Chinup I don't even know you and I'm angry for you. I'd be tempted to tell him, "oh dear, if you don't have money for both trips, just go with your mates and I'll take someone else to the islands with me."
 
GRRRRRRR Ever have one of those days where someone (s) pissed you off so much it's hard to shake it off. I hate having to be the bad guy but if things were done right the first time I wouldn't have to be the bad guy. I really don't like being the baddie. GRRRR
 
I swear to satan that I could slap a small child when Jamie Oliver pours olive oil over something that simply DOES NOT NEED IT!
 
I'm a fairly good cook. A few BL'ers will agree. Jamie Oliver is neither Italian nor is is always cooking Italian. He's a fud and drives me nuts with his wanna be Italian olive oil.


GRRRRR


Sorry love, rant over. I'm just in a mood with him and his oil.
 
agreed. From a man who wanted to make school dinners healthy he has some odd obsession with olive oil that is simply not healthy in any way.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top