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Social The All New/Past Due ONE WORD thread vs keep it simple

Shattered.

I know the wise choice is to keep going because no one knows what Joy is around the very next step but I'm exhausted, hopeless and feeling invisible and unworthy. It's gone on for so long, why would anyone suddenly care now? I keep going only for the love of my children that have done nothing to merit the suffering I have manifested for myself. (And no, I have no plan, this is not a cry for help, I am not going to kill myself. i just don't want to get up and keep going because it's such a challenge to see a reason why, other than the fact the kids need me but the littlest is almost out of high school and then may I please lie down forever?)
 
^I hope you can ride it out, Drug Vet.<3 I feel lost a lot still. But then I have as many times where I am not worrying about it. One of the things I remind myself is that working on myself internally is actually doing something--something that takes a lot of effort and courage and focus. So maybe I'm not doing anything that can be perceived from the outside but in a way I'm way more positively engaged than the person mindlessly trudging along their personal treadmill of an unconscious life.
 
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