🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 The 2025 Recovery & Social Thread

[thatmf]

So the other day I used my laptop in class. I've used it dozens of times since I used to use but felt high when I got home. I'm wondering if there were a few microscopic shards on it or something. I don't recall having any open cuts or anything as well. Kinda confused. Have had pretty low mood for a couple of days and trouble sleeping. But I could just be tripping :/

 

[paltatomate]

So the other day I used my laptop in class. I've used it dozens of times since I used to use but felt high when I got home. I'm wondering if there were a few microscopic shards on it or something. I don't recall having any open cuts or anything as well. Kinda confused. Have had pretty low mood for a couple of days and trouble sleeping. But I could just be tripping :/

This might be hard to follow for some who didn't read your other (deleted) post.
Are you talking about that same incident, or did it happen again?
One time it might be just anything that made you feel high, but if this happened *again* maybe you should consider giving your laptop a good clean.

 

[thatmf]

This might be hard to follow for some who didn't read your other (deleted) post.
Are you talking about that same incident, or did it happen again?
One time it might be just anything that made you feel high, but if this happened *again* maybe you should consider giving your laptop a good clean.

No the same incident. But yeah I'll give it a good clean.

 

[thatmf]

Yeah could have just felt high I guess. High on life?

 

[kiely]

Yeah could have just felt high I guess. High on life?

It sounds like you were having a hyper-sensitivity to something. I read your other post as well. Believable.

I hope that you feel better and levels regulate. That was very hyper awareness. I'm sure you will be fine.

Take care. You have been through so much so far. Quite a lot.

Anyway I hope you are feeling a better level again if that makes sense. But I know you are still hanging

on and so far you're great !!

But you know what. Some acetone was on my finger and did eat through the surface where I control the

cursor. It's horrible but just a spot on the lower right side. Well a big one. But it was on there.

So but just Take Care. ( be safe ) Stay Aware. Thnxx.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

As you might know, I have 18 days clean now off everything and went through opioid withdrawal.

I’ve been attending a lot of meetings and stuff and trying to take recovery seriously.

Today I finally wanted to use weed. I announced it at the meeting and people took me out to dinner and helped me make it through today (the dispensaries closed)….but I feel like I might use weed tomorrow. I got laid off a month ago and the boredom and aimlessness is eating at me. The fear of not getting a job and losing all my savings by living off them

I’ll just stay stoned until I get a job maybe it will distract me.

“This isn't happening. And if it should be happening, it would be all right. So don't worry, Seymour. It'll all work out. You'll see already. In the end, it's all nice.”. - Requiem for a Dream

 

[Jnowhere]

As you all might now, I have 18 days clean now off everything and went through opioid withdrawal.

I’ve been attending a lot of meetings and stuff and trying to take recovery seriously.

Today I finally wanted to use weed. I announced it at the meeting and people took me out to dinner and helped me make it through today (the dispensaries closed)….but I feel like I might use weed tomorrow. I got laid off a month ago and the boredom and aimlessness is eating at me. The fear of not getting a job and losing all my savings by living off them - I have - a home in the highest cost of living area in the US and that will eat through my cash. Really want to get stoned everyday and not give a shit anymore. And I rationalize that getting high might let me have a more positive attitude about my current situation.

Look at it this way; you have had time to get off methadone without work to worry about. When you have got yourself together you should then concentrate on getting another job.
Also, don't you have investments that you can live of the interest of?

Also be more frugal with your money.

 

[thatmf]

As you might know, I have 18 days clean now off everything and went through opioid withdrawal.

I’ve been attending a lot of meetings and stuff and trying to take recovery seriously.

Today I finally wanted to use weed. I announced it at the meeting and people took me out to dinner and helped me make it through today (the dispensaries closed)….but I feel like I might use weed tomorrow. I got laid off a month ago and the boredom and aimlessness is eating at me. The fear of not getting a job and losing all my savings by living off them - I have - a home in the highest cost of living area in the US and that will eat through my cash. Really want to get stoned everyday and not give a shit anymore. And I rationalize that getting high might let me have a more positive attitude about my current situation.

Can you access unemployment insurance/social services at all? I know the weed would probably mellow you out a little bit but in the long term who knows maybe it could stop you from getting a job? Sorry to hear about your situation. Try to stay positive and look after yourself.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Can you access unemployment insurance/social services at all? I know the weed would probably mellow you out a little bit but in the long term who knows maybe it could stop you from getting a job? Sorry to hear about your situation. Try to stay positive and look after yourself.

I’m still getting paid for a few more months since I signed a severance agreement but they told me I don’t need to work anymore, so I can’t get unemployment until that agreement expires.

Also I’m a white collar professional so they don’t drug test us. In my field if they drug tested they wouldn’t have anybody; substance use is very rampant.

And if I were to go do the same sort of work for a giant corporation I know how to cheat drug tests and have stored clean urine in the freezer I’ve used for doctors visits; or I would just quit weed and give myself a month out start date.

Also I’m in CA and it’s now illegal for employers to test for weed

See all the rationalizations? I’m really talking myself into this weed use. I hope I feel different when I wake up to tomorrow; we’ll see.

Going to the meeting did take the edge off the urge; but it came back late at home

 

[thatmf]

I’m still getting paid for a few more months since I signed a severance agreement but they told me I don’t need to work anymore, so I can’t get unemployment until that agreement expires.

Also I’m a white collar professional so they don’t drug test us. In my field if they drug tested they wouldn’t have anybody; substance use is very rampant.

And if I were to go do the same sort of work for a giant corporation I know how to cheat drug tests and have stored clean urine in the freezer I’ve used for doctors visits; or I would just quit weed and give myself a month out start date.

Also I’m in CA and it’s now illegal for employers to test for weed

See all the rationalizations? I’m really talking myself into this weed use. I hope I feel different when I wake up to tomorrow; we’ll see.

Going to the meeting did take the edge off the urge; but it came back late at home

See so you've got a buffer for a few months which is good. You can focus on which direction you want to take from here. And yeah I can see why you're rationalising it. But I'm not going to try and convince you either way

 

[helpingout]

I wouldn’t smoke the weed. It’s just more problems. I know I’ll get flack on here but personally I put just as much energy into getting the money together for, the time to acquire, and the fixation on smoking; cannabis, as I have any other drug. That’s honestly so annoying. And being high and unemployed is fucking awful.

Go to a smart recovery online meeting. There’s meetings all over the world going on through zoom at any given moment. Get the handbook and just start reading and doing exercises.

If you need mental stimulation beyond then try learning a language with Duolingo. Or sharpen your basic thinking skills using the elevate app.

Go to the library and get a library card then use it to download the Libby app and start listening to audiobooks on long sprawling walks in the California sun. Get kindle books for at home with a cup of coffee.

I know how hard you worked to get where you’re at with methadone but if you get in with weed, its a different type of recovery and that’s great, but it’s also a distraction from actually living and feeling yourself as you are without drugs.

Experience your boredom. Pursue your discomfort. See who you are with everything stripped away.

What remains is you.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I t it’s also a distraction from actually living and feeling yourself as you are without drugs.

Experience your boredom. Pursue your discomfort. See who you are with everything stripped away.

What remains is you.

I know this is the goal of be throwing away.

But:

1) it’s only weed
2) it will just be for this weekend; I won’t do it during the week so I can maintain good sleep.
3) I have 25 years of “fuck it” programmed into me
4) I’ll stop when I’ve got more going on in life worth stopping for

I know most of these are lies to myself to justify it…at least that’s what others tell me; but they sure feel true to me.

“This isn't happening. And if it should be happening, it would be all right. So don't worry, Seymour. It'll all work out. You'll see already. In the end, it's all nice.”. - Requiem for a Dream

 

[helpingout]

I know this is the goal of be throwing away.

But:

1) it’s only weed
2) it will just be for this weekend; I won’t do it during the week so I can maintain good sleep.
3) I have 25 years of “fuck it” programmed into me
4) I’ll stop when I’ve got more going on in life worth stopping for

I know most of these are lies to myself to justify it…at least that’s what others tell me; but they sure feel true to me.

“This isn't happening. And if it should be happening, it would be all right. So don't worry, Seymour. It'll all work out. You'll see already. In the end, it's all nice.”. - Requiem for a Dream

I understand your position and I respect your decision.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I understand your position and I respect your decision.

I don’t respect myself for it. Still haven’t done it but if I do there will likely be guilt

 

[helpingout]

I don’t respect myself for it. Still haven’t done it but if I do there will likely be guilt

Don’t feel any guilt whatsoever.

It’s your recovery. How you manage your recovery is your own business. If you want to smoke weed and recover then do so. There’s no hard rules about this regardless of what the 12 step programs say. The point is that your recovery should support your abstinence from the target substance.

Right now that’s methadone and likely dope as well.

For me, cannabis is just not dope, I can smoke weed til the cows come home, but it’ll never feel like heroin. That kind of clues me in to what I’m actually craving. Using weed is just a work around to the addiction problem for me. I’m not getting high on junk so there’s that. But I personally don’t like the way I feel on weed. I don’t like what it does to me. I know what I want when I smoke and it’s not the feeling of cannabis.

So, for me, smoking weed isn’t conducive to recovery.

But it very well may be for you.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Don’t feel any guilt whatsoever.

It’s your recovery. How you manage your recovery is your own business. If you want to smoke weed and recover then do so. There’s no hard rules about this regardless of what the 12 step programs say. The point is that your recovery should support your abstinence from the target substance.

Right now that’s methadone and likely dope as well.

For me, cannabis is just not dope, I can smoke weed til the cows come home, but it’ll never feel like heroin. That kind of clues me in to what I’m actually craving. Using weed is just a work around to the addiction problem for me. I’m not getting high on junk so there’s that. But I personally don’t like the way I feel on weed. I don’t like what it does to me. I know what I want when I smoke and it’s not the feeling of cannabis.

So, for me, smoking weed isn’t conducive to recovery.

But it very well may be for you.

I wouldn’t say it’s conducive to recovery because I tend to isolate from recovery buddies snd my wife on it. It certainly doesn’t make me crave other drugs while high though. If I am craving opioids or benzos weed can stop it.

There has been zero opioid craving because it will precipitate my pain after it wears off and because I’ve done so much suffering to make it through acute withdrawal. And so much suffering experience unmedicated hyperalgesia pain during acute withdrawal.

There is some craving for benzos because I wasn’t dependent on them and they do t precipitate pain - so I ca justify them a bit more; they aren’t particularly addictive or enjoyable but I really like just knocking myself out to sleep as it’s own escape.

They do drill into you though in recovery that you are reinforcing the pattern of escaping discomfort by altering yourself, regardless of whether you “like” the feeling you’re escaping to.

However it’s certainly not like alcohol….two drinks of alcohol and I’m wandering encampents asking for fentanyl. Alcohol immediately makes me crave hard drugs and even want to try drugs that are not my drugs of choice (ie stimulants). It’s easy not to do alcohol though because it will cause severe pain for me after due to ulcers.

“I’m not wrong but I’m not right” - Juice Wrld

 

[Ds]

maybe my brain is wired differently but when i smoke week it makes me want to do other shit, like maybe i'll grab some of those headshop mushroom gummies or choclates, and then i start thinking well whats a trip without some nitrous? and finally i'll grab some alcohol, the directions didn't say anything about mixing or not mixing alcohol with the drugs, and damn i'm on one again.

that's why i personally can't use any weed. it hits multiple fuck it buttons for me and I always drink. At least i'm aware of this. so i just don't do it.
thats cool that you've been going to meetings @LucidSDreamr . i've been trying to go to a couple too. and i really like the oldtimers that share at the meetings that i've been too. it's my homegroup and i've never been able to make it in the past because the meetings are always around 12:15, so i'm always working around that time.

shit speaking about work, i still don't have a job. & need to find something soon. my parents/mother has been helping me with the payment here at the oxford house, and i know that it'l soon be something that i'm going to have to pay. i've got settled in for the most part. the only thing is on monday i have an appointment with this therapist/healthcare type of place, and i'm hoping that i can get into see their doctor as well, because i take suboxone and gabapentin among other drugs and i'm starting to run out. so hopefully they will prescribe me something when I do go.

 

[Deleted member 587331]

I am in full blown addiction to stimulants and it's killing me liklely I havr no idea how to actually stop and I have tried just about everything.

 

[thatmf]

I am in full blown addiction to stimulants and it's killing me liklely I havr no idea how to actually stop and I have tried just about everything.

It's not easy at all and it took me many, many goes. I think the only thing you can do really is stay at home for a few weeks, do not pick up again. Fight the cravings, pursue some hobbies or anything that you can focus on a bit. Gaming worked wonders for me. Regular/daily exercise really helped me past the two week stage. But you literally just have to dry yourself out. I'm not a doctor but benzos can help a little bit...But probably better if you can survive without becoming dependent on them. I think once you pass the 3-5 day cravings and then the 2/3 weeks after that you;ve already started recovery. If you do give in just use it as a learning opportunity and see what went wrong. But I will give you one dime of wisdom. I've been sober from stims for over 2 years now and my life is amazing in comparison to my semi-junkie days. Even 6 months after quitting I felt like a better person. But it's tough, it's lonely and it's a rough ride

 

[thatmf]

Oh and see a psychologist or a counsellor as well. I had a D+A counsellor for a while but they didn't help much. If you have a psychologist or can access one, it could be really helpful.