I'm not the brightest person it seems either, I'm struggling to get any employment whatsoever. Even with a job interview going on right now (a 48 hour test). I can't write code, I can do physics (what my degree was in) but I CANNOT seem to write code and hence, can't get any jobs. I'm told I'm overqualified for lower skilled jobs and under-qualified for higher end jobs. I feel stuck in the middle, stuck in limbo, every week waiting for my pain meds so I can have a brief break from the hell that is my life. I have SEVERE PTSD and derealisation/panic disorder, the only times I am happy are when I take opioids. All (I really mean all) my friends have left me and not because I have done anything unkind to them, what i actually want to do is become a doctor but can't due to debt right now. They manipulated situations when I was at my lowest and "removed me" from their lives.
I'm so alone and trust me having aspergers and a generally high ability to think this is a dangerous place to be. I don't pretend to be smarter than anyone else, we're all the same in my eyes. I'm a super kind person, I offered to pay for my friends degree if I got this job I'm interviewing for and he told me I was a cunt and blocked me.