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Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

Jnowhere said:
I am very grateful for the advice; I have a withdrawal arsenal and then I got weak and took half a pill(30mg er) morphine, will this set me back to day one or is this sort of a slower taper( weakness on my part)? I know I was weak and stupid; will this set me back all the way? I was almost 2 days into no morphine, will this set my total end to my morphine issue back to day 1 once it wears off; or will it just slow it down but will I continue on the path to freedom from it?
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Not going to lie if you used on day two it’ll most likely meet you right back to day one mate. Try to accept that it’s going to be impossible if you have opiates on hand, and try to stick with the comfort meds xo
 
Jnowhere said:
I am very grateful for the advice; I have a withdrawal arsenal and then I got weak and took half a pill(30mg er) morphine, will this set me back to day one or is this sort of a slower taper( weakness on my part)? I know I was weak and stupid; will this set me back all the way? I was almost 2 days into no morphine, will this set my total end to my morphine issue back to day 1 once it wears off; or will it just slow it down but will I continue on the path to freedom from it?
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Keep with it, it is possible, but like someone else said if you got morphine there, you'll use it.
If you think you're going to die then you take it and my mind always convinces me I'm dying in withdrawal, it's a tricky wee bugger that I've to work on more too.
 
Jnowhere said:
Took normal meds, 1 or 2 I should get off, of but one at a time dealing with morphine. It sucks I tapered down to half a pill will make me feel ok. But I got to resist. I hate this so much waiting to see if I will feel OK with the meds minus the morphine but with gabapentin
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If you’ve got enough gabapentin I think this experience can be relatively painless. Key word relatively. I could always hold my own on day 1/2 and day 3/4 would be a little tough. Add in some decent kratom on day 4 and I think you’ll be really surprised.
 
Jnowhere said:
I keep hearing about Kratom, what is it, is it legal in America; and if so where do they sell it. Do you smoke it or is it a pill?
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Yeah man legal in the states. It’s a powder usually from the plant leaves which are grown in Southeast Asia. Most vape shops carry it but you can get better product from online vendors. It is illegal in a few states. I’m in South Carolina and it’s still sold here luckily. You want something with a high mitrgynine percentage relative to normal levels. So something from 1.4-1.5% or higher if you can find it.
 
Jnowhere said:
I keep hearing about Kratom, what is it, is it legal in America; and if so where do they sell it. Do you smoke it or is it a pill?
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It's powdered leaves that you eat or drink as tea, it tastes disgusting but has a mild opiate buzz to it that lasts a few hours and it's addictive of course, very opiate like all round.
Takes the edge off it.
 
Been in a lot of self pity here of late. Nothing really in particular started it. Just one of those things where I woke up one morning, faked being sick so I didn't have to go to work and just laid in the bed til noon while telling my family I'm not feeling good(physically). Just kind of laid there.
I don't really like it when I get in those moods. If it weren't for the drive to not ruin the relationship I have with my family right then and there, then I probably would have gone to the liquor store.
I did not want to go to an AA meeting. Haven't been to one in a few days, so I was telling myself that I hadn't needed one, I was 'too sick'. I sensed that was my addiction talking with me, because that's how it usually happens. Usually would start making excuses. Mother had asked me if I had one of those meetings to go to in one of those mom type of voices, and said that there was one at 7, and not knowing it was 6:50, & the meeting was literally 3 minutes down the street, it wouldn't really be a good look to say that & not go .
So went to the meeting in my house shoes and just went. Shared about what I was feeling like & got some solid suggestions from other members.
Met with a recovery friend afterwards and ate dinner with, and after I got home I started feeling better. I mean the self pity part is always going to be there, just glad that I was able to do something different and pull through it without having to drink over.
 
Jnowhere said:
I got lucky, sort of, I became allergic to alcohol. I itch all over and get sick if I try to drink. I don't have time to get into the misery I went through, but I was hospitalized for about 3 weeks and keep having my stomach drained. Those are some of the worst memories of my life. But trust me being told you have a year to live without a liver transplant sucks. I never got one and it will be 8 years in December, and then I got had pancreatitus and traded one addiction for 3.
Fighting 2 of them. This happened just before I turned 40. Do yourself a hugh favor: don't destroy your liver. I thought it only happened to people in their 60's, I was very wrong. Good luck and stay sober.
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i also meant to tell you kratom products, good ones, have a 4th potency of morphine roughly depending on mitragynine content. i read this in a science journal that i’ll have to source for you again, but it could be godsend for getting off morphine in your case man.


it’s hard to use for fent and heavy opiate use, especially for the first 3 days in my experience until the drug clears from your system due to leftover affinities but i think it could be really useful for you.

also just got my new iphone so i can type out proper responses. i’ve been on my ipad recently and i just couldn’t be fucked to type out longer replies due to the screen being so big. i’m bare lazy
 
day 8 clean. i went and got some kratom today, red bali 1.55% mitragynine. so far so good. took the edge off finally. feeling a LOT better. i got 3oz so i may do a taper, but i’m just considering it. my new iphone came into today so i can actually type out proper timeline reporting again, as the ipad was far too large and i couldn’t be fucked to write out decent replies & posts.

i’m feeling decent, pretty normal actually, the kratom always helps tremendously especially after day 5/6. have had two plugs try to reach out to me but i’ve just ignored them and blocked them. time to move on from that. i need to be sober this holiday szn and be present for my family and friends.

much love xo
 
Well after 5 weeks and 2 days i had a relapse. Went to collect some pharms local and the supplier fucked about and the people i was with had just picked up some w. Smoked 2 stones with me. Then i used my pharma money to buy powder and washed up a half g. They gave me benzos after and id came home and ordered 0.25 of freebase off the markets which id forgotten about until it arrived and i obviously smoked it. Still not good though after so long clean especially i'm still feeling pissed off at myself now.
 
elgoucho9 said:
Well after 5 weeks and 2 days i had a relapse. Went to collect some pharms local and the supplier fucked about and the people i was with had just picked up some w. Smoked 2 stones with me. Then i used my pharma money to buy powder and washed up a half g. They gave me benzos after and id came home and ordered 0.25 of freebase off the markets which id forgotten about until it arrived and i obviously smoked it. Still not good though after so long clean especially i'm still feeling pissed off at myself now.
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try to not be so hard on yourself mate. you’re not physically hurt and you can bounce back from this intrinsically and extrinsically. i know the existential burden we put on ourselves when we relapse, that’s part of the process & we end up adding another tool in our toolbox to fight against substances for the next go around
 
tokayeahok said:
try to not be so hard on yourself mate. you’re not physically hurt and you can bounce back from this intrinsically and extrinsically. i know the existential burden we put on ourselves when we relapse, that’s part of the process & we end up adding another tool in our toolbox to fight against substances for the next go around
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Well thats it i've already been back exercising this morning. Back to day one. On the up side i never went near any brown but it's always been the crack that's more of a problem to me, annoying i thought i was passed that.

I guess also good news is i didn't really enjoy any of it or do my usual and spend way more than i can afford. I've not lost any weight either.

Staying away from sourcing any meds on the street now. It's just too easy to wind up getting involved with more than you bargained for.
 
elgoucho9 said:
Well thats it i've already been back exercising this morning. Back to day one. On the up side i never went near any brown but it's always been the crack that's more of a problem to me, annoying i thought i was passed that.

I guess also good news is i didn't really enjoy any of it or do my usual and spend way more than i can afford. I've not lost any weight either.

Staying away from sourcing any meds on the street now. It's just too easy to wind up getting involved with more than you bargained for.
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it sure is, man. i got a dentist appointment and a tattoo appointment today & i’m so mentally fucked because it’s an opportunity to see my old plug, so today is going to be a real tester for me. i think i’ll be alright though
 
tokayeahok said:
well, i couldn’t resist. i just went & picked up 🥺
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Keep at it...I had to cut off all comms/possible dealer comms when I've tried to quit. I've hung around a mate who still uses 2 ish months into quitting and said no to him straight up after he started hinting at picking up etc..You'll get there.
 
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