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Recovery The 2022 alcohol support thread

My cat's new favorite toys are bottlecaps from beers, goes crazy form 'em. Like father like son?

Anyways I'm feeling a bit better today. Just really tired... so tired, and sore with muscle spasms. I keep getting these weird anxiety attacks that last 30-90 seconds and come in waves, then when it ends I feel relatively fine again. It's weird because they're accompanied by a very unpleasant physical sensation, buzzing like, like my body is going to explode. Never had that before. Glutamate? I'm very familiar with anxiety attacks but this is new.

Just going to spend the day cleaning the house. It looks like a warzone... and unfortunately my recycling bin is completely full. So I guess I'll hold on to these 100 beer cans for another 2 weeks. A souvenir for the dead.
 
I just need someone to rant to right now.

It has become apparent to me that I'm having some not so insignificant withdrawal, but I'm already 42 hours since last drink. Once the 30hr hangover stopped and I fed myself it became more obvious.

I was not expecting this, although I'm not sure one quite does.

I could normally power through this, I've been through a lot worse, the part that I'm having trouble with are the auditory hallucinations particularly when I close my eyes trying to rest. I hate them.

Heart palpitations and rapid breathing which propranolol isn't really helping. I've been dissociating every few minutes. And of course the anxiety, confusion and insomnia.

There is beer in the fridge, too. I could help myself but I don't want to. But just one or two sounds pretty good right now...

I'm just talking to myself here. I'm sure you guys have been through worse (don't laugh).

I'm not shaking or anything other than isolated muscle spasms, and not worried about a seizure.
 
I have very bad news but very good news. I don't know how to tell it but I got a dui Friday night. Long story, wasn't driving, refused tests. I'm a classA trucker so yes that fucked me up BAD! My ex who I recently split with but had the most awesome connection with wants to get back together. It's probably a bad idea but I really need that in my life right now. Saving me.
 
Don't know what I fear but it's origami like child support and alimony and whatever else. She's a good girl and I don't think she's a gold digger but those fears are real for any western man.
 
@OVER_AMPER

My girl sorta saved me too, and I have some fears as well, but allowing myself to be vulnerable with her like she is with me is really opening my eyes to see how much she genuinely loves me for me.

Money and financial security is a real thing too, like you mentioned.

It's really gotta be a feeling thing.
 
@OVER_AMPER sorry about the DUI man, especially if you drive for work, which I also do.

there's a part of me that almost wants something like that to happen to me right now... I know that's dumb... but often when really bad things happen to me it gives me the motivation to sober up
 
OVER_AMPER said:
I don't know how to tell it but I got a dui Friday night. Long story, wasn't driving, refused tests.
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If you weren't driving how did you get the DUI ?

Did i read that wrong? And yeah, if you refuse the tests it doesn't matter. It's on our DL contract that refusing roadside alcohol sobriety tests WILL result in loss of licence. I get why people refuse them as they think that somehow they will escape the consequences but that's never the case. They don't have the legal BAC content on the record when we refuse but we still go to jail and we still get our license suspended. Refusing anymore doesn't even do that............if we are drunk enough they are legally entitled to take us to an ER for a blood draw. Once the blue and red starts flashing we are usually always fucked.

Sorry you got one. I got one too. Only one thank God ( I quit drinking after I got it........it was the only thing to do )as I drank and drove for 30 years and escaped injuring anyone , myself included, but pushed the envelope much further than I should have. It was only luck that i didn't kill somebody. I took the hint that the law gave me and decided that since I knew i would always be stupid enough to drive after I drank, the only way to end the cycle was to quit. It worked !!
 
This threads helped somewhat put my anxiety at ease, I'm a binge drinker an have done probably 3 days of the week for a good 16 years now, wake up with a beer pass out repeat Friday to Sunday and decided after last weeks hangover were I couldn't walk down stairs as my knees were shaking an buckling so bad, the ever growing weekly anxiety and cold sweats that have started to worsen the past few months to today's first panic attack I'd look for help.
Losing my girlfriend, house and job this year due to drinking wasn't enough but seeing my mother think I was dying whilst I was struggling down those stairs and the panic attack making me think I was dying really messed me up and I just really needed to know I wasn't alone in this struggle so thankyou for helping ease my mind tired mind abit with your support for eachother and your experiences. Goodluck with your recoveries, IWNDWYT 💪
 
chinup said:
first, always lovely to meet a fellow manc. second, 30 units a day is a fucking rough time, well done for getting 36 hours. were you able to stay clean and sober will still on the methadone? if so would it be worth considering going back on it? are you getting any help apart from AA?

totally get not wanting your mum worrying, especially if there's other stuff coming up that's going to be stressful.

i've done well this week but then drank last night on the logic that i won't get to drink over the weekend cos i'll be with my mum. a bit hungover but only got a half day in work so i'll survive.
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Erm I drank occasionally and used very occasionally, but I wasn’t doing binges like last weeks.

Tbh part of me wanted to go back on as I’m fairly sure it helped as an antidepressant too. But after having been through what I have the past 70 days I don’t think I’d want to have to come off again. So I’m trying to just accept its PAWs. And it will right itself, but I know it will right itself quicker if I stop fucking around with using and drinking.

Erm I do attend CA as well, there’s a meeting 3-4 times a week in Hale/ Hale Barns which is near my mums so works out nicely visiting her for some tea and then hitting a meeting. I have an appointment to go in naltrexone on the 12th August.

My mum actually asked me two days ago “were you drinking last week son?” So I told her I did, basically she takes care of my finances as I wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping in top of them, so she has my bank cards etc, and if I want to get something from the shops I add her debit card to Apple Pay and then have to delete it straight after. But during the heatwave last week I made out I was dying from the heat and needed copious amounts of ice lolly’s. Anyways I admitted to her I had a binge and that I was going to tell her after my stepsisters wedding next week. But she has thankfully revoked Apple Pay privileges now. It’s the lying that I hate the most. I’m actually considering going to this Christian residential rehab called BETEL for a year, it’s free and they teach you a trade too, but it’s meaning you gotta be okay with the Christianity aspect and also not having a phone etc. oh a major point is that you can’t be on any meds, even antidepressants. So I’m actually on nothing prescribed now, oh wait tell a lie just been prescribed very low dose Gabapentin (100mg) at night for Restless Legs, but I could stop that dose with no issue.

Other than that my mums considered getting me some therapy.

I had 18 units last night, and had 11 units today but also bought two bags of heroin as sold a piece of furniture that had been on Facebook marketplace for a couple of weeks.

But I have a drugs test to get on naltrexone and you need to be 7-10 days clear of opioids to reduce chance of precipitated withdrawals I believe. However my alcoholic addict brain is telling me that Sunday July 31st is my last day of using or drinking, because for some reason it being a Monday and 1st if the month for August this year it will be better. Stupid I know but it’s one of those things. I’ve only got £2 to put towards a drink on Sunday so it will be very restrained.

Hope you managed at work!
 
Arnold said:
Down here as soon as the keys are in the contact you are in charge of the vehicle and can be done for DUI even when you're parked up and testing the springs, listening to radio or have the heater on as you're napping.
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in the US, the keys don't even need to be in the ignition to get a DUI. If you are drunk, sleeping in your car with the car off and the keys in your pocket you can get DUI.
 
Arnold said:
Down here as soon as the keys are in the contact you are in charge of the vehicle and can be done for DUI even when you're parked up and testing the springs, listening to radio or have the heater on as you're napping.
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Thanks hon. I wonder if it's like that here too. Will have to check that out.

That sucks balls just having the keys in the ignition and not even driving.
 
Snafu in the Void said:
@OVER_AMPER sorry about the DUI man, especially if you drive for work, which I also do.

there's a part of me that almost wants something like that to happen to me right now... I know that's dumb... but often when really bad things happen to me it gives me the motivation to sober up
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I understand. Don't do it but I was relieved that i didn't have to leave. The realization of what I've fucked up is dreadful
 
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