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Recovery The 2022 alcohol support thread

I slept surprisingly well last night. Solid 6 hours and only woke up once to pee.

I'm not really sure why, either. I didn't eat very well yesterday, didn't do anything differently than normal.
 
I drank yesterday. Woke up in the middle of the night with intense stomach pain, then violently vomited my stomach contents. I don't know why. I ate plenty of food yesterday before and after drinking. Also felt dizzy/fatigued/weird (not hangover).

Feels like an ulcer might be coming on, very similar pain, but I haven't seen any blood yet. I'm scared to drink my coffee. Stomach still hurts, but feel better than 6 hours ago.

Just like usual when I start to feel a bit healthy again I fuck it up by drinking.

I'm not going to drink for awhile...
 
I'm really screwing up today.

It was time for me to go to terminal and head out. They've given me a new truck with a custom seat and anything I could reasonably want and then some as a senior driver.

I get all my laundry done and load up the car and the car won't start. I have a lifelong friend coming to look at it later and we think it's the fuel pump. Can have that part bought and replaced by morning and that's actually good news. Great friend.

The problem is while setting here basically twiddling my thumbs, everything comes pouring in. Loneliness mainly but everything else with it. I can deal with loneliness by itself as I'm used to solitude but add several other things in the mix and I find myself in a battle.

I have a lot going for myself and a lot to look forward to but sometimes that glue isn't strong enough to hold. There's no point in leaving until tomorrow at this point anyway. I'm going to fire up the grill and feed my friend some good food as well if he wants it. The first beer went down easy. It was good and I had 2 more for dessert. Two shots of Canadian whiskey I nursed throughout.

I think I will eat something even though I really really don't want to. Either way I'm devoted to one more beer at least. I'm not even gonna fight that one. Several more on my mind though. There is whiskey in the freezer.

My plan is to nurse my next beer and eat something afterwards. Think about solving the issues with the car. Focus on the grill and chores surrounding it. Read some things and maintain at least a level of minimal sips. Hopefully eating will turn me off. It used to be that once I ate, drinking was over. It's still that way with beer but not whiskey.

It is what it is.
 
I've really neglected this thread since starting it.

Possibly because I'm failing miserably. I've been necking a 70cl bottle of vodka per day straight for fuckin weeks now - chased down with beer/wine/cider at regular intervals.


I seem to have drunk myself sober now. I don't really feel it anymore, I just get tired. GI issues have subsided, don't feel shit in the morning and have stopped dry heaving.

I think I am literally pickled.


Got to stop this shit.
 
I've really neglected this thread since starting it.

Possibly because I'm failing miserably. I've been necking a 70cl bottle of vodka per day straight for fuckin weeks now - chased down with beer/wine/cider at regular intervals.


I seem to have drunk myself sober now. I don't really feel it anymore, I just get tired. GI issues have subsided, don't feel shit in the morning and have stopped dry heaving.

I think I am literally pickled.


Got to stop this shit.
Omg. Dry heaves. Shwew! Going beyond that is not good. Been there. You must have terrible nightmares when you actually sleep. I'm in no place to tell you to stop but you gotta please slow down at least my friend.

Just slow down. Cut back. For you it's gonna need to be one or two less shots per day. Three if you can manage. You really need to cut back under a pint if possible and substitute the rest of your cravings with some sort of light beer or something.

You make me want to pour out the rest of the whiskey in the freezer but I bought it for my mom so she'd be pissed. I might do it anyway and tell her I must've drank it. Depends on how I manage. I'm to the point of pouring bottles out. It's stupid though if you just go buy more but I have a commercial license and will absolutely not drive after drinking no matter what.

If you can't stop drinking, think about just a limit and nurse it. My logic is that if you're drinking that much without a plan, make a plan. A pint and a few beers as well as some water is a heap less unhealthy than what you're throwing back. I'm in that same boat. I'm drinking but I'm making a plan. I might deviate but I'll stay closer to my plan than I would without it. Not sure if that'll work for you but I'm wishing you the best and hoping you'll back off some.
 
@F.U.B.A.R.

I hope you'll respond tomorrow or next day. I want to know what you're up to.... or down to in this case.

Do that if you would. Just post at your convenience. If I don't hear from you in a few days I'm gonna start asking for you!
 
@OVER_AMPER it doesn't sound to me at all like you screwed up yesterday. even though you drank, you made sure to eat. you'd had to change plans at no notice which always massively throws me. so glad your friend could help you with the car.

i'm glad you won't drive without drinking, i had to go to AA in rehab and i fucking hated the sharers 'never used drugs cos that's illegal' who then droppen in some supposedly hilarious anecdote about drink driving. like fuck you. drink driving is way worse than personal drug ingestion imo.

@F.U.B.A.R. come on man. i am going to restate my opinion that you should get outside help. you said you didn't want to go to drugs services in your town, but it is possible to go discreetly- i know this cos my dad was on the council and he didn't want it coming out that his daughter was an addict cos apparently that would impact his voter base. so i think it can be done. or fucking NA. or your dr. how are your wife and kids? can they get on board to help you?

i've not had too bad cravings so far this week. always in the early evening but they've subsided pretty quick.
 
I've really neglected this thread since starting it.

Possibly because I'm failing miserably. I've been necking a 70cl bottle of vodka per day straight for fuckin weeks now - chased down with beer/wine/cider at regular intervals.


I seem to have drunk myself sober now. I don't really feel it anymore, I just get tired. GI issues have subsided, don't feel shit in the morning and have stopped dry heaving.

I think I am literally pickled.


Got to stop this shit.
Oh dear, I didn't realise things were like this for you man. I'm sorry to hear it. I've been there many many times myself and it felt inescapable for such a long time. It was a decade of merry-go-round cycling from relationship to relationship, from job to job, from detox/hospital/rehab to rehab, the nurses at the local hospital started to know me by name. I moved house legit countless times...I think 11 times overall? Can't be bothered counting. I'd get fresh out of detox/rehab again and be sober for a bit, but pretty quickly I'd be back up to at least 30 standard drinks every single day (about what you're at now). At my most recent stint in hospital detox they did a liver ultrasound and saw some cirrhosis... 😔 I'm only 37!!! THAT was the slap in the face I finally needed to get my shit together.
Now that I have a baby, I am in a strict outpatient program which is overseen by child protection agency, with weekly therapy sessions and I'm on Antabuse, that keeps me sober. But it's still hard man.

So I really do get it.

What's it gonna take for you to get some help FUBAR? You can't do this on your own. If you could, it wouldn't have gotten to this level. You are fucking WORTH IT man, please get some help.
 
I love playing that game where you wake up with a sore throat, stomach ache and congestion, then you have to guess if you've caught the flu or if it's due to all the cheap beer you drank that night.
One time I woke up and apparently I had snored like a mfr because my goiter was swollen and stretched out so bad that when I coughed to hack up whatever was in my throat, it came up and laid on my tongue, nearly reaching my teeth. Now that freaked me out the first time it ever happened. Sounds gross, feels gross but dang what a remarkable little organ that is and I'm not even sure what it's usefulness is.
 
One time I woke up and apparently I had snored like a mfr because my goiter was swollen and stretched out so bad that when I coughed to hack up whatever was in my throat, it came up and laid on my tongue, nearly reaching my teeth. Now that freaked me out the first time it ever happened. Sounds gross, feels gross but dang what a remarkable little organ that is and I'm not even sure what it's usefulness is.
Took half the day for it to go back to normal as I recall. Horribly annoying situation.
 
@F.U.B.A.R.
I know what you're dealing with. I DO understand who the man is that everyone thought you were supposed to be. Somewhere inside is that man. No one would've thought it otherwise. Meanwhile I'm sending good vibes your way. I don't even know if you're a man. I'm just guessing. Curse me if I'm wrong and that's fine. You started this thread and it has helped people. Let the people help you! Just come in and give us an update. Doesn't matter how bad it looks.
 
Omg. Dry heaves. Shwew! Going beyond that is not good. Been there. You must have terrible nightmares when you actually sleep. I'm in no place to tell you to stop but you gotta please slow down at least my friend.

Just slow down. Cut back. For you it's gonna need to be one or two less shots per day. Three if you can manage. You really need to cut back under a pint if possible and substitute the rest of your cravings with some sort of light beer or something.

You make me want to pour out the rest of the whiskey in the freezer but I bought it for my mom so she'd be pissed. I might do it anyway and tell her I must've drank it. Depends on how I manage. I'm to the point of pouring bottles out. It's stupid though if you just go buy more but I have a commercial license and will absolutely not drive after drinking no matter what.

If you can't stop drinking, think about just a limit and nurse it. My logic is that if you're drinking that much without a plan, make a plan. A pint and a few beers as well as some water is a heap less unhealthy than what you're throwing back. I'm in that same boat. I'm drinking but I'm making a plan. I might deviate but I'll stay closer to my plan than I would without it. Not sure if that'll work for you but I'm wishing you the best and hoping you'll back off some.
@F.U.B.A.R.

I hope you'll respond tomorrow or next day. I want to know what you're up to.... or down to in this case.

Do that if you would. Just post at your convenience. If I don't hear from you in a few days I'm gonna start asking for you!
Oh dear, I didn't realise things were like this for you man. I'm sorry to hear it. I've been there many many times myself and it felt inescapable for such a long time. It was a decade of merry-go-round cycling from relationship to relationship, from job to job, from detox/hospital/rehab to rehab, the nurses at the local hospital started to know me by name. I moved house legit countless times...I think 11 times overall? Can't be bothered counting. I'd get fresh out of detox/rehab again and be sober for a bit, but pretty quickly I'd be back up to at least 30 standard drinks every single day (about what you're at now). At my most recent stint in hospital detox they did a liver ultrasound and saw some cirrhosis... 😔 I'm only 37!!! THAT was the slap in the face I finally needed to get my shit together.
Now that I have a baby, I am in a strict outpatient program which is overseen by child protection agency, with weekly therapy sessions and I'm on Antabuse, that keeps me sober. But it's still hard man.

So I really do get it.

What's it gonna take for you to get some help FUBAR? You can't do this on your own. If you could, it wouldn't have gotten to this level. You are fucking WORTH IT man, please get some help.

@F.U.B.A.R.

How are you doing today?
@F.U.B.A.R.

How's it going? How are you doing? Update please.
@F.U.B.A.R.
I know what you're dealing with. I DO understand who the man is that everyone thought you were supposed to be. Somewhere inside is that man. No one would've thought it otherwise. Meanwhile I'm sending good vibes your way. I don't even know if you're a man. I'm just guessing. Curse me if I'm wrong and that's fine. You started this thread and it has helped people. Let the people help you! Just come in and give us an update. Doesn't matter how bad it looks.

Thank you all for your kind words and concern <3

I'm loathe to go down the medical route because I'm sick of the tick box bullshit and revolving door bollocks they provide.

If anyone can help me, it's you guys. Knowing that genuine people have got your back, rather than a bunch of glorified social workers, is more of an incentive to beat this shit than the drug and alcohol services are.



Much love to all...
 
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