The 12 Days of Junkie Christmas

[Wants2Nod]

On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
A fat shot of pure morphine

On the second day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine

On the third day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Three oxycontins
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine

On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Four suboxone strips
Three oxycontins
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine

On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Five, fire stamps
Four suboxone strips
Three oxycontins
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine

On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Six 30 gage needles
Five, fire stamps
Four suboxone strips
Three oxycontins
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine

On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Seven roxicodones
Six 30 gage needles
Five, fire stamps
Four suboxone strips
Three oxycontins
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine


On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eight 8mg dillies
Seven roxicodones
Six 30 gage needles
Five, fire stamps
Four suboxone strips
Three oxycontins
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine

On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Nine opana IRs
Eight 8mg dillies
Seven roxicodones
Six 30 gage needles
Five, fire stamps
Four suboxone strips
Three oxycontins
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine

On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Ten 10mg valiums
Nine opana IRs
Eight 8mg dillies
Seven roxicodones
Six 30 gage needles
Five, fire stamps
Four suboxone strips
Three oxycontins
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eleven hours of nodding
Ten 10mg valiums
Nine IR opanas
Eight 8mg dillies
Seven roxicodones
Six 30 gage needles
Five, fire stamps
Four suboxone strips
Three oxycontins
Two xanax bars
and a fat shot of pure morphine

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
12 fentanyl patches
Eleven hours of nodding
Ten 10mg valiums
Nine IR opanas
Eight 8mg dillies
Seven roxicodones
Six 30 gage needles
ONE, MASSIVE OD!
Four screaming medics
Three shots of narcan
And some CPR
..and a New Year's stint in Recovery

 

[Burnt Offerings]

She (or, hell, he for that matter) would definitely be my true love if they sent me all that

 

[PerfectDisguise]

Haha, that was pretty good.

 

[Wants2Nod]

Hahaha, thanks. I changed the last line, like it a bit better now.

 

[bingey]

pure poetry comrade.

 

[Blind Melon]

Yeah that was pretty well done, nice one man.

 

[Wants2Nod]

Thanks, LOL - I was really inclined to post this in 'Other Drugs'...I know it doesn't fit the rules for that sub-forum, but that seems to be where most of my fellow junkies hang out. Hoping enough fellow opiod sufferers see this to get some humor out of it here.

 

[spacejunk]

3 shots of narcan and CPR, i doubt you'd be still kickin' to even make it to recovery - but that's a small nitpicky response.
Funny, nice work

 

[Wants2Nod]

Thanks! And yep, agreed - I've heard of people needing two, spaced out Narcan shots when ODing on methadone (due to the long half life- the nalaxone wears off and the 'done rebinds), but that's about it - I was just trying to fit in with the syntax of the song, LOL

 

[spacejunk]

Artistic license is most commendable when bastardising a crass xmas carol with dope lyrics

 

[Sprout]

I feel like an uber (avec umlaut; fukk' wit da trilinguals, bitchtits)-mega Junkie for thinking:
'Wait, I gotta hold out for Day Six until I get a spike rack?!'

Yes, Spike Rack, fukk' yo' spices.

 

[bingey]

^
but you get fat shots of morphine from day one ey.

I'm guessing some kind of christmas angel administers them flawlessly and unbearably itchy..

 

[phatass]

Thanks that was hilarious.

 

[Wants2Nod]

^
but you get fat shots of morphine from day one ey.

I'm guessing some kind of christmas angel administers them flawlessly and unbearably itchy..

Think of the morphine shots as a Christmas miracle. Kind of like the immaculate conception...the morphine gets into your bloodstream, but there's no penetration beforehand.

 

[belligerent drunk]

Being high on morphine all Christmas without needing to even take it? Count me in!

 

[Wilson Wilson]

 

[Wants2Nod]

LOL! Those are some old drug scene lyrics there - very cool. '200 reds', 'yellow sunshine LSD' - talk about throwbacks. I'm getting old (late 30s), and that stuff is from before my time.