Mental Health That's fucking it i have given up on Psychiatrists

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paranoid android

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I saw a new shrink a few weeks back. I had been waiting about 6 months to see this 4 eyed fuck face and it has been over a year since i have seen any psychiatrist at all. I apparently "fired" the last one when called her less then useless and asked to be referred to another one because she refused to phone me in a refill despite both my mom and dad having just got home from the hospital from surgeries and i was to busy looking after them to go see her fat ugly mug! So yeah fuck her :X

Anyway i have been having a very rough time this winter to say the very least. <snip, trigger and process> I left my closest friend in this world a note of sorts and she came online the second i was going to log off for the night. She spent the next 10 hours or so talking me <snip> To say i am eternally grateful to her would be a major understatement as she basically saved my life.

I saw my new shrink a few days after this and i told him everything basically. What does the stupid cunt say to me? He says "I am very concerned about your <snip> dose and come back and see me in a month" =D . It took ever ounce of self restraint not to grab that little 4 eyed fucker by the throat and throw him out the second story window! :X I have not felt so enraged in a very long time and was almost lost for words. I made it out of his office and damn near broke a few doors on the way out of the building i slammed them so hard. I threw a coffee cup across the lobby to the shouts of a few arseholes to which i replied "fuck off ye fat cunts". By the time i made it outside i was pissed beyond belief but just sat in silence the whole way home.

I have had it with those quacks! Here i am like a pitbull on a chain and this little fucker wants to lower my dose of <snip> which is one of the very few drugs keeping me from killing someone and myself! Fuck him he is not getting anymore money for seeing me so he can sit in his rich house sipping expensive wine. There are far to many of these useless bastards getting far too much money for doing nothing. How these morons got past high school let alone medical school is beyond me. No wonder the health care system is like it is here. Anyway i have a good GP so i can keep getting my psych meds but when he finds out about this he may not be pleased cause it took so long to get to see this moron. If he get's pissy about it i will go back to the shrink but i am just going to sit there and insult him until he has me thrown out of the place.

Has anyone else never gotten along with even 1 of their shrinks? Honestly i am starting to think these fuckin twats are the ones that should be lying in a room drooling on themselves. I just don't know what to do if i start feeling that suicidal again cause i am at the end of my rope here and i have no help except from a few friends. There is no medical help for me here and there are more doctors leaving the province everyday.

I just used to always know that even in my darkest days i could pull through if i needed to. Now I'm not so sure :(
 
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I think theres something to psychs basically prodding you until there is some sort of emotional response. Its something that they do and I don't know why. I've read it in the Bell Jar, I've experienced it myself.

I don't think there's anything intentionally malevolent about it. I'm guessing it deals with stress and anger response and a sliding scale to see where a person is at in terms of their mental health and how bad they really are. Fight or flight.

Anger is a natural response. No anger in these types of situations would indicate something is wrong. Too much anger and you are a "danger to others."

There's also a codified sense of how a personal deals with anger in specific situations, ie. what is culturally appropriate. I think in the Western world we have a certain programmed respect for doctors so much so that becoming angry in his or her office is paradoxical. We perceive it as something that shouldn't happen. Or we go to seek counsel and do not get counsel but something quite different. There's also a strong legal background to it all too. What prevents you from striking this man in the face? Well, that's assault and a crime. Its where the brain doesn't recognize these cues where it becomes a problem, you skip the foreplay and lunge at the man and claw his eyes out. Or you immediately get up without a word and leave. Or you feel nothing and are just waiting for him/her to give you your "drugs."
 
I dunno i guess this was more of a vent then anything else. It's just so frustrating because Ive been so low lately and was hoping for some help. But no the same old shit! I mean do they learn to be useless in medical school or is apathy a acquired trait? If i just wanted my scripts i would have never bothered to look for another shrink cause i can get my psych scripts off my GP like Ive been doing since i fired my last shrink =D . To be honest the only reason i didn't make a run at that 4 eyed hunchbacked geek and smash his face to bit's is because i promised my friend that no matter how stupid he turned out to be that i wouldn't do anything that would wind me up in jail. In the state of mind i was in at the time jail did not worry me in the slightest so it wasn't fear of that considering i was looking for people to get in a racket with all the way out the building.

I dunno i guess i needed to vent abit here. I am just sick to death of robot doctors who couldn't give 2 fucks about anything except the cash they get for seeing you.
 
yeah and IMO psychiatrist can be the worst.. I did the same thing you are doing, orig script psyc then to a gen for all the refills. The best is when they diagnose buy your reaction to different drugs buy cycling you through meds:(. sometimes I think their whole plan is to piss you off so bad you claim your cured and never go back.. hang in there <3

EDIT: im going to close this.. looks like you puked up a decent amount of that filth.. thanks for the rant.. repost if you desire help on something or PM me.. chin up<3
 
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