Rabbit
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2011
- Messages
- 2,292
I wanted to share the dumb shit that went down before I even got on the job. My friend's wife became the manager of a local security guard post almost over night because her boss got caught fucking employees on the job and she was the only one that wasn't friend and/or family to him in some way. So naturally the first thing she did was start hiring her own friends and family because nepotism. She talked me into signing up because I needed a job at the time and I was told it'd be a cake walk (she was wrong).
Since her husband was my weed man (and most of the towns) she scheduled a drug test for me at a local lab days before I showed up to rent-a-cop class. She heavily implied that I should cheat the test. Even going so far as to assure me no one would watch me pee and offering to have her daughter piss in a cup for me. I told her no thanks. Instead, I had my little brother piss in a cup for me. Which I kept warm on the drive over by running my car's heater full blast and stealthily took into the bathroom with me. Then I poured it into their cup and pissed on the toilet seat. Since I'm an asshole and I had to make it look real.
Day 1 of class:
I show up after a 2 hour drive to a room filled with people. There must have been at least 30 people there. Everyone is laughing and talking shit. It's obvious that most of them know each other. Everyone must have been hard up for a job because taking this class cost $200.
Some guy comes into the room and starts passing out cups to piss in. I'm nervous about this because my pee is so hot it could melt steel. When he tries to hand me a cup I inform him that I'd already taken my piss test. He gets angry and tells me that I'm peeing in the cup or I'm going home with no refund. Thankfully, the person in charge happened to step into the room at this time and informs his lackey that I've already taken a drug test and passed with flying colors. The room gets really quiet and I can feel everyone behind me staring at me. Feels like daggers.
One-by-one they step into the bathroom and fail. One guy is trying to put it off as long as possible by claiming he can't make water. After an hour they tell him to either piss in the cup or to leave. He ends up leaving. Just like that 30 became 2.
The other guy is clean cut and straight laced as they come. I can tell he's never so much as smelled the stink of weed in his life. But I'm happy because drug tests are idiot tests and I figure this guy must at least have some smarts. I was wrong. He decides we're now buddies because I'm the only other person that didn't fail the drug test and he must think I'm straight laced to because of the crew cut and clean shave I'm sporting. Which I only got yesterday. Since apparently being a rent-a-cop requires regular hair cuts and no facial hair.
This guy is young and dumb. I can't convey how obvious to me it was that he was stupid as a bag of hammer the moment he started speaking to me. But I'm trying to be nice. He keeps yammering on about how his Dad is a cop and he wants to be a cop to. Says he wants to get his license to carry firearms so he can get an armed post. Says he's going to take the advanced class for that as soon as he's done with this one.
The first day of class comes to an end. I drive the 2 hours back home.
Day 2:
It's 6am and I'm already cussing under my breath that my friend's wife talked me into this. Fuck getting up early. I drive the 2 hours to attend the class.
When I show up my new best friend is standing in the parking lot looking at me like an excited dog. He looked just like my dog does when I come home after being away for a few hours. If he had a tail no doubt it would have been wagging hard. I can already tell it's going to be a long day...I'm not a people person and this dude is going to try my patience hard.
We have about 15 minutes until class starts. I keep waiting for this dude to walk off because I don't want him to see that I'm carrying a pistol. Usually, I would keep it on me but there is a big NO GUNS ALLOWED sign plastered on the front door along with about 10 others all over the front of the building. I light a cigarette hoping it'll drive him away but no such luck. "You know you really shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you". Yes I'm aware.
After the second cigarette I give up and decide fuck it. If this dude steals my pistol I'll just kick his ass or something. I open the trunk of my car and retrieve my little gun case. Take my pistol off my hip and place it inside. "YOU LIKE GUNS? I LIKE GUNS TO! WHAT KIND IS IT? WHAT CALIBER IS IT? DO YOU WANNA GO SHOOTING TOGETHER AT THE RANGE SOMETIME?".
Class starts. The old black dude teaching the class seems pretty chill. He was telling me about how he started with the company 10 years ago and now he makes bank teaching these classes instead of watching empty warehouses. Has a company car and everything. 401k retirement fund, medical+dental insurance and all that good shit. Says if I do a good job the company will take care of me and there is a lot of opportunity to move up the ladder. He must think I'm a fine young man because of my new haircut and my ability to bullshit with the best of them. At least he's being nice.
The teacher is not in the room with us. He's in his office on a webcam. There are two remote classes with about 10 people in them apiece and us two in this massive room on the same "campus" (office building) as the teacher. Class is easy as fuck there is no way you could fail it. Even Forrest Gump would score 100% on these quizzes and tests. It's obvious they're running a racket and this is just a formality. But the guy beside me is too stupid to get it. He keeps asking stupid questions and annoying everyone including the teacher. We all just want to go on smoke break bro...
Soon it's lunch time. I packed a massive sandwich topped with chow-chow and whatever bag of chips I grabbed on the way out when I was half asleep. I was looking forward to a nice quiet lunch and a half hour of sun bathing. No such luck. "DO YOU WANNA EAT WITH ME IN MY TRUCK? I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING!!!". Sure bro whatever.
We're sitting in dumbass's truck and he keeps yammering on about his hopes and dreams to be a cop. Starts telling me things like how his Dad told him never to smoke weed because it is worse than cocaine. Just a lot of dumb shit like that. You know D.A.R.E police officer drug lore. I honestly can't remember most of it now I just remember trying really hard not to laugh. At some point he starts yammering on about guns.
"CHECK THIS OUT! MY DAD BOUGHT IT FOR ME ON MY BIRTHDAY!"
This kid pulls out probably the nicest 1911 pistol I've ever seen in person. Dan Wesson custom made piece. In chrome with pearl grips. Custom engraving. It has his name written on the slide. Probably $3k+ pistol easy. I must admit it's really really fucking cool. I ask him why he even brought it because I'd be terrified that someone would steal it out of my car. Seriously, I wouldn't let anything that nice out of my safe. Hell I wouldn't even shoot it for fear of getting it dirty or dropping it.
He asks to see what I'm packing so I go to the trunk of my car and come back with my $300 piece of shit beater pistol that I carry because it's a $300 piece of shit beater pistol (but it's reliable). I tell him when he turns 21 and gets his permit he should seriously consider buying something like this and leaving the nice pistol at home. He thanks me for my sage advice and asks if he can try it sometime. I tell him sure maybe if we're ever in the same place at a range but he can just rent a Glock at any range for like $20. From there he starts asking my opinion on things like 9mm vs. 10mm vs. .45acp vs. .357mag etc. Lunch flew by. I didn't even get a chance to sneak off and snort the roxi I planned on enjoying. I end up having to snort it in the bathroom just before class starts.
Day 2 after lunch:
I'm zoned on the TV just hoping this will end soon. This is so fucking boring. I'm wondering if it's too late to get my money back and tell my friend's wife that I won't be able to work this job after all.
Dumbass taps me on the shoulder. He's got his pocket knife out. Starts whispering to me: "It's so cool isn't it!?". Yeah man I guess it's nice. I tell him to knock it off so we don't get in trouble and go back to zoning out on the TV.
Not long after this I hear a muffled "ow!!". I look over at dumbass. In the few seconds I was looking away he's somehow managed to cut himself deep. Really deep. Right across the palm of his left hand. It isn't like he jabbed himself. It looks like he took the blade and cut all the way to the bone across his entire palm. Blood is pouring out of the wound. He's holding his left palm above his right hand which is cupped and the blood has already filled it completely up and it's coming out of his hand like a river. I knew this was bad.
I start waving trying to get the teacher's attention but he's too busy droning on reading off a script. Dumbass is going to bleed out if I don't help him soon. I stand up and start walking towards the back of the room. I hear TV teacher yelling "Where are you going Mr. Headphones!? What are you doing!?". I ignore him and keep walking. Walk to the office he's hiding in and open the door. "Hey man, we got a first aid kit? This guy is cut really bad! We gotta stop the bleeding!". He wants to know how he cut himself "Fuck if I know!". He tells the remote students that we're taking a 10 minute break because dumbass has somehow managed to slice his hand open in a room that might as well be made out of soft buggy bumpers and foam.
He brings me a first aid kit and I get the bleeding to stop. I saw white meat inside of the wound. It's really bad. I can't believe I managed to get it to stop it took several minutes. I advise dumbass that he should go to the ER after class ends and get stitches. He thanks me profusely and claims he doesn't know what happened. Like the knife magically turned on him and sliced him open when he wasn't looking. Even though he was obviously playing with it out of boredom. TV-teacher-man thanks me as well and says I'm going to make a fine rent-a-cop. Since having skills like being able to apply pressure to a bleeding wound is apparently a big part of watching empty warehouses at 3am in the morning.
Day 3 (graduation day!):
I show up on day 3 and I already know the deal so I did my roxi a block up the street, popped a xanax bar on the way and made sure to chain smoke cigarettes the entire ride down. I'm really looking forward to the end of this day. Already got a big joint rolled up to smoke on the way home.
Dumbass greets me in the parking lot. He's wearing his pistol on his belt because I guess he's trying to be cool and what better way to be cool than to copy the man that literally saved your life yesterday. I ask him how come he's open carrying today. He says he wants to conceal carry but he's not old enough to get his permit yet. Says he can't wait to conceal carry like I'm doing (fun fact: I didn't have a permit).
Mr. TV shows up and backs his company car in to the spot next to us (BEEP BEEP BEEP).
He congratulates us on making it to the final day and class and says today is mostly a formality. We're going to be done by lunch time (fuck yeah). Just have to take a test and we'll be issued our license to sleep on the job and yell at warehouse workers sleeping on the job. Good shit. Can't wait to abuse my newfound powers! Test was easy as fuck. I could have easily passed it even without the last day of class with common sense. I can't leave until dumbass finishes his test though. Which takes him about an hour longer than it should have.
I'm standing in front of a mirror combing my hair. I'm not used to having to comb my hair nor am I used to the pomade I so stupidly decided to put in it this morning. But hey I'm having my picture taken. Gotta look my best for my rent-a-cop portrait. Dumbass tries to poke fun at me for "always messing with my hair". Mr. TV says "Don't listen to him Mr. Headphones, you're looking sharp!".
Mr. TV informs us that we can take a 15 minute break because he has to do some paper work. Then we'll be issued our licenses after having our finger prints taken for the feds. I didn't know about the finger print thing otherwise I wouldn't have signed up since I don't want the spooks knowing about my ridges and swirls. But I'm in too deep at this point so I know it's to late to back out.
I step out for a smoke. Dumbass follows me because he's my new best friend. He's very excited and is talking about how he can't wait to take the second class to get his licensed to carry firearms while watching apartment complexes in the hood. I tell him it's a bad idea. It's only $1 more an hour of pay and they're going to stick you with the worse post you can imagine. Maybe you should reconsider and watch empty warehouses like I plan on doing for awhile. But I can't talk him out of it. I finish my smoke and go back inside leaving dumbass outside to his own devices (this was a mistake).
When I come back inside Mr. TV gets my finger prints. Hands me my certificate and license. Shakes my hand and congratulates me again. He says I am an outstanding student and he wishes all his students were like me. Then he drops the sales pitch for a moment and whispers: "You'll do really well here if you want to. I can have you in management in 6 months if you want. Just show up on time and you're golden. This is a cake job". I tell him I appreciate that. He gives me his card with his personal number on it. "If you ever have any problems just give me a call. I run this entire region".
I'm getting ready to take off but I figure I should at least hang around for a few minutes to congratulate dumbass and wish him luck. While I'm not a people person I do have good manners and I could tell this guy wanted to be my friend for some reason. I plan on letting him down easy. You know what I mean. The same way the women do when they're not into the cut of your jib.
Dumbass comes strutting through the front door with the biggest grin on his face I believe I've ever seen. He was really happy and I guess he thought this was the first step to his goal of following in his father's footsteps and becoming a real deal pig. He's beaming. I don't think I've ever seen someone so happy to accomplish so little. Then I watched him get his soul crushed.
"WHY ARE YOU ARMED IN HERE!?!?!" yells Mr. TV.
Dumbass was wearing his very nice 1911 pistol on his hip. You could tell he'd taken the extra time to make it more visible by tucking his shirt in around it and everything. I guess he thought it would impress the teacher and would be proof that he was ready to take the advanced lessons. The teacher was not amused.
Dumbass lost his license right there before he even got it. Mr. TV said if he couldn't be trusted to obey the company rules he couldn't be trusted to be a security officer for the company. He ripped up his license and certificate right there. Dumbass started to cry. He ran off, got in his truck, hauled ass out of the parking lot and I never saw him again.
Mr. TV and I were in shock. We just stood there for a few moments shaking our heads at each other. Mr. TV said: "I knew the boy wasn't bright. But that's just stupid". Trust me I know.
This was the first in many stupid people I would meet during the course of that job. I should have known it was going to be bad on day 1. I would end up learning some important life lessons working this job. The most important being that no one that's sane and/or not poor wants to do this job. Everyone I met working on the job had some kind of mental problems. Me included.
I'll try to come back and rant about some of those one day. Today I just wanted to talk about dumbass.
Since her husband was my weed man (and most of the towns) she scheduled a drug test for me at a local lab days before I showed up to rent-a-cop class. She heavily implied that I should cheat the test. Even going so far as to assure me no one would watch me pee and offering to have her daughter piss in a cup for me. I told her no thanks. Instead, I had my little brother piss in a cup for me. Which I kept warm on the drive over by running my car's heater full blast and stealthily took into the bathroom with me. Then I poured it into their cup and pissed on the toilet seat. Since I'm an asshole and I had to make it look real.
Day 1 of class:
I show up after a 2 hour drive to a room filled with people. There must have been at least 30 people there. Everyone is laughing and talking shit. It's obvious that most of them know each other. Everyone must have been hard up for a job because taking this class cost $200.
Some guy comes into the room and starts passing out cups to piss in. I'm nervous about this because my pee is so hot it could melt steel. When he tries to hand me a cup I inform him that I'd already taken my piss test. He gets angry and tells me that I'm peeing in the cup or I'm going home with no refund. Thankfully, the person in charge happened to step into the room at this time and informs his lackey that I've already taken a drug test and passed with flying colors. The room gets really quiet and I can feel everyone behind me staring at me. Feels like daggers.
One-by-one they step into the bathroom and fail. One guy is trying to put it off as long as possible by claiming he can't make water. After an hour they tell him to either piss in the cup or to leave. He ends up leaving. Just like that 30 became 2.
The other guy is clean cut and straight laced as they come. I can tell he's never so much as smelled the stink of weed in his life. But I'm happy because drug tests are idiot tests and I figure this guy must at least have some smarts. I was wrong. He decides we're now buddies because I'm the only other person that didn't fail the drug test and he must think I'm straight laced to because of the crew cut and clean shave I'm sporting. Which I only got yesterday. Since apparently being a rent-a-cop requires regular hair cuts and no facial hair.
This guy is young and dumb. I can't convey how obvious to me it was that he was stupid as a bag of hammer the moment he started speaking to me. But I'm trying to be nice. He keeps yammering on about how his Dad is a cop and he wants to be a cop to. Says he wants to get his license to carry firearms so he can get an armed post. Says he's going to take the advanced class for that as soon as he's done with this one.
The first day of class comes to an end. I drive the 2 hours back home.
Day 2:
It's 6am and I'm already cussing under my breath that my friend's wife talked me into this. Fuck getting up early. I drive the 2 hours to attend the class.
When I show up my new best friend is standing in the parking lot looking at me like an excited dog. He looked just like my dog does when I come home after being away for a few hours. If he had a tail no doubt it would have been wagging hard. I can already tell it's going to be a long day...I'm not a people person and this dude is going to try my patience hard.
We have about 15 minutes until class starts. I keep waiting for this dude to walk off because I don't want him to see that I'm carrying a pistol. Usually, I would keep it on me but there is a big NO GUNS ALLOWED sign plastered on the front door along with about 10 others all over the front of the building. I light a cigarette hoping it'll drive him away but no such luck. "You know you really shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you". Yes I'm aware.
After the second cigarette I give up and decide fuck it. If this dude steals my pistol I'll just kick his ass or something. I open the trunk of my car and retrieve my little gun case. Take my pistol off my hip and place it inside. "YOU LIKE GUNS? I LIKE GUNS TO! WHAT KIND IS IT? WHAT CALIBER IS IT? DO YOU WANNA GO SHOOTING TOGETHER AT THE RANGE SOMETIME?".
Class starts. The old black dude teaching the class seems pretty chill. He was telling me about how he started with the company 10 years ago and now he makes bank teaching these classes instead of watching empty warehouses. Has a company car and everything. 401k retirement fund, medical+dental insurance and all that good shit. Says if I do a good job the company will take care of me and there is a lot of opportunity to move up the ladder. He must think I'm a fine young man because of my new haircut and my ability to bullshit with the best of them. At least he's being nice.
The teacher is not in the room with us. He's in his office on a webcam. There are two remote classes with about 10 people in them apiece and us two in this massive room on the same "campus" (office building) as the teacher. Class is easy as fuck there is no way you could fail it. Even Forrest Gump would score 100% on these quizzes and tests. It's obvious they're running a racket and this is just a formality. But the guy beside me is too stupid to get it. He keeps asking stupid questions and annoying everyone including the teacher. We all just want to go on smoke break bro...
Soon it's lunch time. I packed a massive sandwich topped with chow-chow and whatever bag of chips I grabbed on the way out when I was half asleep. I was looking forward to a nice quiet lunch and a half hour of sun bathing. No such luck. "DO YOU WANNA EAT WITH ME IN MY TRUCK? I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING!!!". Sure bro whatever.
We're sitting in dumbass's truck and he keeps yammering on about his hopes and dreams to be a cop. Starts telling me things like how his Dad told him never to smoke weed because it is worse than cocaine. Just a lot of dumb shit like that. You know D.A.R.E police officer drug lore. I honestly can't remember most of it now I just remember trying really hard not to laugh. At some point he starts yammering on about guns.
"CHECK THIS OUT! MY DAD BOUGHT IT FOR ME ON MY BIRTHDAY!"
This kid pulls out probably the nicest 1911 pistol I've ever seen in person. Dan Wesson custom made piece. In chrome with pearl grips. Custom engraving. It has his name written on the slide. Probably $3k+ pistol easy. I must admit it's really really fucking cool. I ask him why he even brought it because I'd be terrified that someone would steal it out of my car. Seriously, I wouldn't let anything that nice out of my safe. Hell I wouldn't even shoot it for fear of getting it dirty or dropping it.
He asks to see what I'm packing so I go to the trunk of my car and come back with my $300 piece of shit beater pistol that I carry because it's a $300 piece of shit beater pistol (but it's reliable). I tell him when he turns 21 and gets his permit he should seriously consider buying something like this and leaving the nice pistol at home. He thanks me for my sage advice and asks if he can try it sometime. I tell him sure maybe if we're ever in the same place at a range but he can just rent a Glock at any range for like $20. From there he starts asking my opinion on things like 9mm vs. 10mm vs. .45acp vs. .357mag etc. Lunch flew by. I didn't even get a chance to sneak off and snort the roxi I planned on enjoying. I end up having to snort it in the bathroom just before class starts.
Day 2 after lunch:
I'm zoned on the TV just hoping this will end soon. This is so fucking boring. I'm wondering if it's too late to get my money back and tell my friend's wife that I won't be able to work this job after all.
Dumbass taps me on the shoulder. He's got his pocket knife out. Starts whispering to me: "It's so cool isn't it!?". Yeah man I guess it's nice. I tell him to knock it off so we don't get in trouble and go back to zoning out on the TV.
Not long after this I hear a muffled "ow!!". I look over at dumbass. In the few seconds I was looking away he's somehow managed to cut himself deep. Really deep. Right across the palm of his left hand. It isn't like he jabbed himself. It looks like he took the blade and cut all the way to the bone across his entire palm. Blood is pouring out of the wound. He's holding his left palm above his right hand which is cupped and the blood has already filled it completely up and it's coming out of his hand like a river. I knew this was bad.
I start waving trying to get the teacher's attention but he's too busy droning on reading off a script. Dumbass is going to bleed out if I don't help him soon. I stand up and start walking towards the back of the room. I hear TV teacher yelling "Where are you going Mr. Headphones!? What are you doing!?". I ignore him and keep walking. Walk to the office he's hiding in and open the door. "Hey man, we got a first aid kit? This guy is cut really bad! We gotta stop the bleeding!". He wants to know how he cut himself "Fuck if I know!". He tells the remote students that we're taking a 10 minute break because dumbass has somehow managed to slice his hand open in a room that might as well be made out of soft buggy bumpers and foam.
He brings me a first aid kit and I get the bleeding to stop. I saw white meat inside of the wound. It's really bad. I can't believe I managed to get it to stop it took several minutes. I advise dumbass that he should go to the ER after class ends and get stitches. He thanks me profusely and claims he doesn't know what happened. Like the knife magically turned on him and sliced him open when he wasn't looking. Even though he was obviously playing with it out of boredom. TV-teacher-man thanks me as well and says I'm going to make a fine rent-a-cop. Since having skills like being able to apply pressure to a bleeding wound is apparently a big part of watching empty warehouses at 3am in the morning.
Day 3 (graduation day!):
I show up on day 3 and I already know the deal so I did my roxi a block up the street, popped a xanax bar on the way and made sure to chain smoke cigarettes the entire ride down. I'm really looking forward to the end of this day. Already got a big joint rolled up to smoke on the way home.
Dumbass greets me in the parking lot. He's wearing his pistol on his belt because I guess he's trying to be cool and what better way to be cool than to copy the man that literally saved your life yesterday. I ask him how come he's open carrying today. He says he wants to conceal carry but he's not old enough to get his permit yet. Says he can't wait to conceal carry like I'm doing (fun fact: I didn't have a permit).
Mr. TV shows up and backs his company car in to the spot next to us (BEEP BEEP BEEP).
He congratulates us on making it to the final day and class and says today is mostly a formality. We're going to be done by lunch time (fuck yeah). Just have to take a test and we'll be issued our license to sleep on the job and yell at warehouse workers sleeping on the job. Good shit. Can't wait to abuse my newfound powers! Test was easy as fuck. I could have easily passed it even without the last day of class with common sense. I can't leave until dumbass finishes his test though. Which takes him about an hour longer than it should have.
I'm standing in front of a mirror combing my hair. I'm not used to having to comb my hair nor am I used to the pomade I so stupidly decided to put in it this morning. But hey I'm having my picture taken. Gotta look my best for my rent-a-cop portrait. Dumbass tries to poke fun at me for "always messing with my hair". Mr. TV says "Don't listen to him Mr. Headphones, you're looking sharp!".
Mr. TV informs us that we can take a 15 minute break because he has to do some paper work. Then we'll be issued our licenses after having our finger prints taken for the feds. I didn't know about the finger print thing otherwise I wouldn't have signed up since I don't want the spooks knowing about my ridges and swirls. But I'm in too deep at this point so I know it's to late to back out.
I step out for a smoke. Dumbass follows me because he's my new best friend. He's very excited and is talking about how he can't wait to take the second class to get his licensed to carry firearms while watching apartment complexes in the hood. I tell him it's a bad idea. It's only $1 more an hour of pay and they're going to stick you with the worse post you can imagine. Maybe you should reconsider and watch empty warehouses like I plan on doing for awhile. But I can't talk him out of it. I finish my smoke and go back inside leaving dumbass outside to his own devices (this was a mistake).
When I come back inside Mr. TV gets my finger prints. Hands me my certificate and license. Shakes my hand and congratulates me again. He says I am an outstanding student and he wishes all his students were like me. Then he drops the sales pitch for a moment and whispers: "You'll do really well here if you want to. I can have you in management in 6 months if you want. Just show up on time and you're golden. This is a cake job". I tell him I appreciate that. He gives me his card with his personal number on it. "If you ever have any problems just give me a call. I run this entire region".
I'm getting ready to take off but I figure I should at least hang around for a few minutes to congratulate dumbass and wish him luck. While I'm not a people person I do have good manners and I could tell this guy wanted to be my friend for some reason. I plan on letting him down easy. You know what I mean. The same way the women do when they're not into the cut of your jib.
Dumbass comes strutting through the front door with the biggest grin on his face I believe I've ever seen. He was really happy and I guess he thought this was the first step to his goal of following in his father's footsteps and becoming a real deal pig. He's beaming. I don't think I've ever seen someone so happy to accomplish so little. Then I watched him get his soul crushed.
"WHY ARE YOU ARMED IN HERE!?!?!" yells Mr. TV.
Dumbass was wearing his very nice 1911 pistol on his hip. You could tell he'd taken the extra time to make it more visible by tucking his shirt in around it and everything. I guess he thought it would impress the teacher and would be proof that he was ready to take the advanced lessons. The teacher was not amused.
Dumbass lost his license right there before he even got it. Mr. TV said if he couldn't be trusted to obey the company rules he couldn't be trusted to be a security officer for the company. He ripped up his license and certificate right there. Dumbass started to cry. He ran off, got in his truck, hauled ass out of the parking lot and I never saw him again.
Mr. TV and I were in shock. We just stood there for a few moments shaking our heads at each other. Mr. TV said: "I knew the boy wasn't bright. But that's just stupid". Trust me I know.
This was the first in many stupid people I would meet during the course of that job. I should have known it was going to be bad on day 1. I would end up learning some important life lessons working this job. The most important being that no one that's sane and/or not poor wants to do this job. Everyone I met working on the job had some kind of mental problems. Me included.
I'll try to come back and rant about some of those one day. Today I just wanted to talk about dumbass.
Last edited:
