Cateturry3turrycan
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2019
- Messages
- 153
I met a girl, in passing when I was in high school. She was 2 years behind me so, I met her when I was a junior and she was a freshman. I hung out with her brother Brandon and she always was the quiet hippie chick. Who had the glass bead around her neck, and went to all the hippie festival.s, hung out with the hippie kids etc.
You can get the idea she was a hippie chick, now I preface this blog by saying that because during this time I was very shy. Very reserved. My idea of a hot friday night wa building a badass gaming rig for a friend. (I built computers as a hobbie, I was very single) I was hardly exposed to the world of drugs at that pont, and the most intense sexual experience I had had at that point in my life was tittyfucking a redhead with DDs and not being able to last longer than 5 seconds....
Then I graduated. Sabrina became somebody I used to know, along with 99% of everyone else I had gone to school with.. and I didn think much of her. These people become the random people you see on facebook posting lies about how awesome their lives truly arent
Fast forwad to last year...
I unexpectedly lost my mother, who I'd lived with my entire life. As a 27 year old who never fully left the nest, my mom and I had a rocky relationship but were very codependant and had finally reached a place in our lives where we supported each other. Then the rug was pulled out.
I'd never heard of sepsis, but I read up real quick. She had septic shock and for a story I'll post anther day, she spent 13 days in ICU before I ultimately had to make the decision to pull her off life support. She made it 9 minutes on her own before crossing over.
As a loner, I'd just lost the only person in my life, and truly became alone.
I had no body, and wanted to die. Then not a month later my grandfather and uncle get killed by a drunk driver in Chattanooga. My grandfather was the only member of my family I spoke to other than mom... So, I find myself now 28, and completely and utterly devastated, and alone.
Thoughts of suicide began to go from ideation to planning to writing letters to my ex's and my very small group of friends who had seemed to forget about me during the worst moment of my life.
----
Then I got a message from Sabrina on facebook..
She wanted to come over and see me, and she did. And I had my first actual conversation with her. She had an unbelievable ability ot calm me down, I'd essentially been fighting one long mental breakdown, and her aura was something of which I'd never experienced. I got to finally look at her fully, up close, and not just stealing glances from the corner of my eyes when Brandon and I would hang out back in the day.
Sabrina has a perfect body, the quintessential female hour glass figure, skinny... not thick.. but not bones eiher. She was so sensual, I'd never noticed. As the weeks went by I Grew closer to her, and found out she had a 2nd brother Dustin.
I'd never known about this brother, but.. when I went to her house I got to talk to Dustin, and he talked about his sister. They were siblings. I was becoming intoxicated with her magnetic way about her.
-----
Until I realized while scrolling through facebook, and her profile... that Dustin was her boyfriend. That they both had coordinated a lie. Then I realized, Id been giving her money for her addiction to H....
What little bit of hope that she had brought back into a life so darkened by loneliness... was not just gone, but gone forever..
To be continued..(names are changed because she does lruk these forums)
----- There will be lots more, I need to vent and this is the only place I know I can be honest and not be judged. I love you bluelight - TC
You can get the idea she was a hippie chick, now I preface this blog by saying that because during this time I was very shy. Very reserved. My idea of a hot friday night wa building a badass gaming rig for a friend. (I built computers as a hobbie, I was very single) I was hardly exposed to the world of drugs at that pont, and the most intense sexual experience I had had at that point in my life was tittyfucking a redhead with DDs and not being able to last longer than 5 seconds....
Then I graduated. Sabrina became somebody I used to know, along with 99% of everyone else I had gone to school with.. and I didn think much of her. These people become the random people you see on facebook posting lies about how awesome their lives truly arent
Fast forwad to last year...
I unexpectedly lost my mother, who I'd lived with my entire life. As a 27 year old who never fully left the nest, my mom and I had a rocky relationship but were very codependant and had finally reached a place in our lives where we supported each other. Then the rug was pulled out.
I'd never heard of sepsis, but I read up real quick. She had septic shock and for a story I'll post anther day, she spent 13 days in ICU before I ultimately had to make the decision to pull her off life support. She made it 9 minutes on her own before crossing over.
As a loner, I'd just lost the only person in my life, and truly became alone.
I had no body, and wanted to die. Then not a month later my grandfather and uncle get killed by a drunk driver in Chattanooga. My grandfather was the only member of my family I spoke to other than mom... So, I find myself now 28, and completely and utterly devastated, and alone.
Thoughts of suicide began to go from ideation to planning to writing letters to my ex's and my very small group of friends who had seemed to forget about me during the worst moment of my life.
----
Then I got a message from Sabrina on facebook..
She wanted to come over and see me, and she did. And I had my first actual conversation with her. She had an unbelievable ability ot calm me down, I'd essentially been fighting one long mental breakdown, and her aura was something of which I'd never experienced. I got to finally look at her fully, up close, and not just stealing glances from the corner of my eyes when Brandon and I would hang out back in the day.
Sabrina has a perfect body, the quintessential female hour glass figure, skinny... not thick.. but not bones eiher. She was so sensual, I'd never noticed. As the weeks went by I Grew closer to her, and found out she had a 2nd brother Dustin.
I'd never known about this brother, but.. when I went to her house I got to talk to Dustin, and he talked about his sister. They were siblings. I was becoming intoxicated with her magnetic way about her.
-----
Until I realized while scrolling through facebook, and her profile... that Dustin was her boyfriend. That they both had coordinated a lie. Then I realized, Id been giving her money for her addiction to H....
What little bit of hope that she had brought back into a life so darkened by loneliness... was not just gone, but gone forever..
To be continued..(names are changed because she does lruk these forums)
----- There will be lots more, I need to vent and this is the only place I know I can be honest and not be judged. I love you bluelight - TC
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