not happening
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2013
- Messages
- 6
First of all, I don't want to come across as judgemental or an anti-. I believe everyone should have the right to do as they wish with their own body but I'd like to share a recent experience with you...
First some background. I am a 40 year old business owner, married for 20 years with 2 wonderful children who are 17 and 7. I tried various things when I was younger. Never really liked pot because it just made me sleepy but I developed a taste for coke and LSD between high school and the time I got married. My wife is a complete anti- so I pretty much refrained and had no trouble giving up coke altogether as a casual user (about once a week) but continued to use LSD when I found it availabale and had the opportunity.
I recently (this past weekend) spent some time with an old high school buddy at our lake house and found out that he has been using meth for close to 2 years. He says that he uses to focus at work as an engineer and also blows it out on weekends sometimes. It seemed like a good idea at the time so I decided to try it with him. Long story short, we smoked a little over 2 grams between Friday evening and Saturday evening. The rush was awesome and we smoked way too much way too fast. I enjoyed playing with the pipe as much as the drug itself. In the interim between taking our last hit around 7pm on Saturday and actually being able to fall asleep about 4 hours later I made the comment that I was extremely focused and could get a lot of work done so I arranged for him to send me .5 grams after he got back home and let me see if it was going to allow me to work the way I wanted to. I typically work 2-3 days a week but they are 16-20 hour days to allow me the rest of the week off for family and fun. It wasn't even going to cost me anything because I had it worked out with him that I would send him boxes of Sudafed to trade to his guy each month and could get up to 1.5 grams for 3 boxes if I found that I needed that much.
Sunday and Monday were like a living hell for me. I felt good Sunday but when I got home and saw my kids I felt guilty immediately and then Monday while I should have been working I found myself cruising the internet trying to find out how to find this stuff on the streets and in the end just went cruising looking for some. Never found any and I'm glad I didn't. By Tuesday (yesterday) my body had finally started returning to normal and I had stopped looking in the truck seats to see if he had dropped a few pieces maybe that I could put in a pipe I bought on the way home. I spent hours on this site and a couple of others over those 2 days and realized yesterday that I was totally infatuated with this drug and that my plan to load .05 grams in a pipe each day and make one bowl last an entire evening just to stay awake would not work... I knew that I might have the self-discipline to maintain for a few days but soon I would fall prey so I made the call yesterday and told him not to send the package and that while we have been friends forever and I will continue to be his friend I would prefer that he not bring anymore of that stuff around me.
A large part of me reaching this conclusion was from the hours I spent on these boards looking at tips and ways to make it go farther and correctly use the drug and I really feel that I owe a "Thank you" to those of you who have made these posts that I enjoyed reading while I was jonesing because it made me realize that I was soon to be doing the same shit. I love my wife and children too much to even risk it so I will not be going down that road. I don't know if it's possible to call yourself addicted after one heavy session but I certainly understand how meth can get a grip on someone that they can't shake.
First some background. I am a 40 year old business owner, married for 20 years with 2 wonderful children who are 17 and 7. I tried various things when I was younger. Never really liked pot because it just made me sleepy but I developed a taste for coke and LSD between high school and the time I got married. My wife is a complete anti- so I pretty much refrained and had no trouble giving up coke altogether as a casual user (about once a week) but continued to use LSD when I found it availabale and had the opportunity.
I recently (this past weekend) spent some time with an old high school buddy at our lake house and found out that he has been using meth for close to 2 years. He says that he uses to focus at work as an engineer and also blows it out on weekends sometimes. It seemed like a good idea at the time so I decided to try it with him. Long story short, we smoked a little over 2 grams between Friday evening and Saturday evening. The rush was awesome and we smoked way too much way too fast. I enjoyed playing with the pipe as much as the drug itself. In the interim between taking our last hit around 7pm on Saturday and actually being able to fall asleep about 4 hours later I made the comment that I was extremely focused and could get a lot of work done so I arranged for him to send me .5 grams after he got back home and let me see if it was going to allow me to work the way I wanted to. I typically work 2-3 days a week but they are 16-20 hour days to allow me the rest of the week off for family and fun. It wasn't even going to cost me anything because I had it worked out with him that I would send him boxes of Sudafed to trade to his guy each month and could get up to 1.5 grams for 3 boxes if I found that I needed that much.
Sunday and Monday were like a living hell for me. I felt good Sunday but when I got home and saw my kids I felt guilty immediately and then Monday while I should have been working I found myself cruising the internet trying to find out how to find this stuff on the streets and in the end just went cruising looking for some. Never found any and I'm glad I didn't. By Tuesday (yesterday) my body had finally started returning to normal and I had stopped looking in the truck seats to see if he had dropped a few pieces maybe that I could put in a pipe I bought on the way home. I spent hours on this site and a couple of others over those 2 days and realized yesterday that I was totally infatuated with this drug and that my plan to load .05 grams in a pipe each day and make one bowl last an entire evening just to stay awake would not work... I knew that I might have the self-discipline to maintain for a few days but soon I would fall prey so I made the call yesterday and told him not to send the package and that while we have been friends forever and I will continue to be his friend I would prefer that he not bring anymore of that stuff around me.
A large part of me reaching this conclusion was from the hours I spent on these boards looking at tips and ways to make it go farther and correctly use the drug and I really feel that I owe a "Thank you" to those of you who have made these posts that I enjoyed reading while I was jonesing because it made me realize that I was soon to be doing the same shit. I love my wife and children too much to even risk it so I will not be going down that road. I don't know if it's possible to call yourself addicted after one heavy session but I certainly understand how meth can get a grip on someone that they can't shake.
