Brobi-Wan Kenobi
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2013
- Messages
- 23
Hey guys,
I have never registered here before but I stumbled across this place while looking for help with the side effects of severe Molly abuse and have come back from time to time to try and find more information or just take solace in the fact that I'm not the only one out there struggling to get back into the groove of everyday life after being addicted to drugs.
I was one of those people who made it out of high school without ever even drinking and then got to college where all the pillars of support were removed and a kid who was naturally interested in drugs and chemicals just fell off the mountain and got caught in the avalanche. A lot of times I'll look back on my life and just say, man when I was 19 I had everything in the world and just let it slip through my fingers while my attention was somewhere else. It kind of gives me this burning feeling in my soul which I've learned to just accept as self-anger and use it as motivation. I first got addicted to coke (weed never created problems for me other than slight paranoia when I was driving home after buying it) and maxed out two credit cards snorting that stuff. Eventually got turned on to X tabs by some friends and shortly after was introduced to Molly. It was just an eye opening drug for me because the price is so much less and it lasts so much longer, I was done paying excessively for blow to only want more and regret spending the money.
I got to the point where I was taking like ~1g of Molly at a time. I am a large person, almost 2m in height and ~130kg so I kind of fell for the trap of thinking larger body means more drug required to get high. That's true in some cases but I went overboard with it. After a while I just didn't feel like myself anymore, like I was living my life but not participating in it if that makes any sense. I found this place when I started looking for help. I've never been able to get help professionally because I don't have insurance, and as an admitted addict I'm sure no one will be surprised to find out I hawked most of my assets to pay for drugs over the years. All of the money I make right now goes to paying my rent and keeping me alive. But the prevailing thought among people giving advice to others here has been that you gotta quit doing Molly if you want to recover from it because it will just set you back every time. I've seen a few people toss around the fact that it's better for you to just roll hard a few times a year rather than make a habit out of it, but given my habits I felt like I needed absolute abstinence to get better.
I am happy to admit that I'm about a week away from being clean from all narcotic chemicals sans marijuana and hydrocodone (which I am currently prescribed to for a work related injury) for six months. I even quit smoking cigarettes! When I was using Molly a lot, in the days following use (sometimes a week or two later) I couldn't sit still and just think without something just not feeling normal. I still get that "off" feeling sometimes but things are a lot more clearer now. I just got too caught up in trying to be "cool" than trying to have fun intelligently. For the first few months I took a lot of vitamin supplements. I wasn't in good health outside of the drug abuse so the vitamins had more than one purpose to me. Mentally, everything seemed to turn around when I started working out again (because my nearly seven year drug itch coincides almost directly with when I stopped working out regularly). I'm not all the way better, but there is a GIGANTIC difference in where I am now compared to six months ago. I just wanted to come here and share my first couple steps down the road to success because I got some good information here and feel I owe it to this community to at least check in and maybe let anyone else that's having problems know...it does get better you just have to work hard at it. It's cliche and when I was using people would always tell me I wouldn't get better until I wanted it for myself, but it's really true. You can't change unless you really want to.
At rock bottom I thought I'd permanently damaged my brain just for a handful of crazy nights and good memories. Never thought I'd be happy again in my life but I'm smiling now. So once again, there are too many posters to single out but if you ever asked for help or shared help with another poster who was trying to quit Molly, I have read your threads/posts and I'll always owe you one. Thanks for helping me get my life back.
I have never registered here before but I stumbled across this place while looking for help with the side effects of severe Molly abuse and have come back from time to time to try and find more information or just take solace in the fact that I'm not the only one out there struggling to get back into the groove of everyday life after being addicted to drugs.
I was one of those people who made it out of high school without ever even drinking and then got to college where all the pillars of support were removed and a kid who was naturally interested in drugs and chemicals just fell off the mountain and got caught in the avalanche. A lot of times I'll look back on my life and just say, man when I was 19 I had everything in the world and just let it slip through my fingers while my attention was somewhere else. It kind of gives me this burning feeling in my soul which I've learned to just accept as self-anger and use it as motivation. I first got addicted to coke (weed never created problems for me other than slight paranoia when I was driving home after buying it) and maxed out two credit cards snorting that stuff. Eventually got turned on to X tabs by some friends and shortly after was introduced to Molly. It was just an eye opening drug for me because the price is so much less and it lasts so much longer, I was done paying excessively for blow to only want more and regret spending the money.
I got to the point where I was taking like ~1g of Molly at a time. I am a large person, almost 2m in height and ~130kg so I kind of fell for the trap of thinking larger body means more drug required to get high. That's true in some cases but I went overboard with it. After a while I just didn't feel like myself anymore, like I was living my life but not participating in it if that makes any sense. I found this place when I started looking for help. I've never been able to get help professionally because I don't have insurance, and as an admitted addict I'm sure no one will be surprised to find out I hawked most of my assets to pay for drugs over the years. All of the money I make right now goes to paying my rent and keeping me alive. But the prevailing thought among people giving advice to others here has been that you gotta quit doing Molly if you want to recover from it because it will just set you back every time. I've seen a few people toss around the fact that it's better for you to just roll hard a few times a year rather than make a habit out of it, but given my habits I felt like I needed absolute abstinence to get better.
I am happy to admit that I'm about a week away from being clean from all narcotic chemicals sans marijuana and hydrocodone (which I am currently prescribed to for a work related injury) for six months. I even quit smoking cigarettes! When I was using Molly a lot, in the days following use (sometimes a week or two later) I couldn't sit still and just think without something just not feeling normal. I still get that "off" feeling sometimes but things are a lot more clearer now. I just got too caught up in trying to be "cool" than trying to have fun intelligently. For the first few months I took a lot of vitamin supplements. I wasn't in good health outside of the drug abuse so the vitamins had more than one purpose to me. Mentally, everything seemed to turn around when I started working out again (because my nearly seven year drug itch coincides almost directly with when I stopped working out regularly). I'm not all the way better, but there is a GIGANTIC difference in where I am now compared to six months ago. I just wanted to come here and share my first couple steps down the road to success because I got some good information here and feel I owe it to this community to at least check in and maybe let anyone else that's having problems know...it does get better you just have to work hard at it. It's cliche and when I was using people would always tell me I wouldn't get better until I wanted it for myself, but it's really true. You can't change unless you really want to.
At rock bottom I thought I'd permanently damaged my brain just for a handful of crazy nights and good memories. Never thought I'd be happy again in my life but I'm smiling now. So once again, there are too many posters to single out but if you ever asked for help or shared help with another poster who was trying to quit Molly, I have read your threads/posts and I'll always owe you one. Thanks for helping me get my life back.
Yay!! I'm happy for you! Feel free to post in the Dark Side for additional support!