soulfly
Bluelight Crew
Inspriation comes from the strangest places...
As i'm sitting here in what feels like the most humid air i have ever tried to breath in my life, hands trembling, and smoking these goddamn cigarettes i just haven't been able to quit yet, I am trying to deal. Just deal...
You see, i got a call last night, and it's terminal. I never realized how bad it was. And i don't know if it can be repaired. I missed my opportunity, and now it's terminal.
What's even more amazing, i got a prognosis! Two months...two months of summer. Two months where everything was supposed to be great, and to have the summer party to end all parties (which for me these days consists of a blunt, a few friends, and enough Tony Hawk 3 to burn ones retinas out.)
Instead i get a lot of tears, a lot of anger, and even more confusion.
I don't get it, this isn't the way it was supposed to be, supposed to end.
The custody battle alone for the cat will be enough to make me swallow ANOTHER BOTTLE OF PIL.....never mind
keep it together....
just hold out, everything will be ok
(keep telling yourself that)
everything always works in the end
(another lie)
If it is meant to be...it'll work itself out
(i am worse than Richard Nixon)
There's other fish in the sea....
(I am Osama Bin Laden)
This is a bitter pill to swallow, and i don't even know where i stand... or more importantly, where i will stand in two months.
All i have faith in right now, is the travel case that i cart 24 cd's in wherever i go...
Listening to New Found Glory's new cd three times a day, every day...
Listening to Thursday "Full Collapse" at least twice a day...
all this bittersweet hardcore and punk just isn't helping...
It's creating a soundtrack for the apocolypse...
The night when all the shit goes down, and the next morning when i wake up, and the cat is crying for you at 5:20am...and i look over, and you're not next to me
Then reality will set in, and if you listen carefully, you will actually here a loud snap inside of me...
and i'll have no idea where i am, or what i'm doing, or why i'm even there
i will be lost, destroyed, and alone... again
and for what?? because of the way i AM??
because of things i cannot change??
or are we just heading in two different directions? it think that's the most likely scenario.
"We can rise, one wings of the dove, see blue skies...getting caught in the trail of all this smoke" - Thursday
But it's all up to you...you know where i stand. You know what i want...you're motives are a little suspect, but you know what i want.
You know what i need, and i will never forgive myself for letting this slip away...never.
Nothing will ever come close to this, and i fear that i may revert to the person i was about 3 years ago...
because three years ago, i saw a doctor, a doctor who had me locked up...and told me that i was terminal.
It's been in remission for the last two and a half years, you've kept me on life support.
"And it feels like, I'm at an all-time low...
slightly bruised and broken, from our head-on collision. I've never seen this side of you, another tragic case of feeling bruised and brokeen" - New Found Glory (appearing on this years Warped Tour, along with Thursday, Bad Religion, Thrice and many more....)
As i'm sitting here in what feels like the most humid air i have ever tried to breath in my life, hands trembling, and smoking these goddamn cigarettes i just haven't been able to quit yet, I am trying to deal. Just deal...
You see, i got a call last night, and it's terminal. I never realized how bad it was. And i don't know if it can be repaired. I missed my opportunity, and now it's terminal.
What's even more amazing, i got a prognosis! Two months...two months of summer. Two months where everything was supposed to be great, and to have the summer party to end all parties (which for me these days consists of a blunt, a few friends, and enough Tony Hawk 3 to burn ones retinas out.)
Instead i get a lot of tears, a lot of anger, and even more confusion.
I don't get it, this isn't the way it was supposed to be, supposed to end.
The custody battle alone for the cat will be enough to make me swallow ANOTHER BOTTLE OF PIL.....never mind
keep it together....
just hold out, everything will be ok
(keep telling yourself that)
everything always works in the end
(another lie)
If it is meant to be...it'll work itself out
(i am worse than Richard Nixon)
There's other fish in the sea....
(I am Osama Bin Laden)
This is a bitter pill to swallow, and i don't even know where i stand... or more importantly, where i will stand in two months.
All i have faith in right now, is the travel case that i cart 24 cd's in wherever i go...
Listening to New Found Glory's new cd three times a day, every day...
Listening to Thursday "Full Collapse" at least twice a day...
all this bittersweet hardcore and punk just isn't helping...
It's creating a soundtrack for the apocolypse...
The night when all the shit goes down, and the next morning when i wake up, and the cat is crying for you at 5:20am...and i look over, and you're not next to me
Then reality will set in, and if you listen carefully, you will actually here a loud snap inside of me...
and i'll have no idea where i am, or what i'm doing, or why i'm even there
i will be lost, destroyed, and alone... again
and for what?? because of the way i AM??
because of things i cannot change??
or are we just heading in two different directions? it think that's the most likely scenario.
"We can rise, one wings of the dove, see blue skies...getting caught in the trail of all this smoke" - Thursday
But it's all up to you...you know where i stand. You know what i want...you're motives are a little suspect, but you know what i want.
You know what i need, and i will never forgive myself for letting this slip away...never.
Nothing will ever come close to this, and i fear that i may revert to the person i was about 3 years ago...
because three years ago, i saw a doctor, a doctor who had me locked up...and told me that i was terminal.
It's been in remission for the last two and a half years, you've kept me on life support.
"And it feels like, I'm at an all-time low...
slightly bruised and broken, from our head-on collision. I've never seen this side of you, another tragic case of feeling bruised and brokeen" - New Found Glory (appearing on this years Warped Tour, along with Thursday, Bad Religion, Thrice and many more....)
