melancholic
Bluelighter
the temptation is there. the idea that you could feel total bliss and feel so free of all worries for an entire night from jsut one swift movement is barely possible to pass. but its not like trying to escape from a rough break up, or a lost job. This isnt poor performance or an argument with a friend. This is part of everything. This is effecting everything. This is changing you in ways you cannot understand possible.
this is about escaping what you are - to release who you are. this is about getting away from the frightening reality that exists everytime you walk in or out your front door.
the risks involved nearly outway the point to it in the first place. if only it was easy, if only it was legal, if only it was jsut risk free.
drift away from the unbearable part of life that you cant ignore. feel one with the music. feel as though nothing really matters, nothing bothers you, everything is just fine, you dont need to change things or improve things, you dont need to act differently because you are finally at one with yourself and totally truthful in everything you say, you are finally able to say what you want as you wish and actually mean it all. it is a feeling unmatched by un-edited lifestyle, unmatched by normal life, unmatched by anything at all. concentration comes so easily, your mind works as it never has before. your senses are so sensitive, its like a dream to touch people you love, to kiss, to feel that sincere, just, and powerful love passing through their lips as you move your mouth to the rhythm of the pash. to hold hands and be so entirely comforted by the simple notion of having your hands wrapped in theirs. to run with each other and just enjoy doing absolutely anything for no reason at all.
then the realisation that possibly everybody you know is condemning you for being so 'irresponsible', for trying new things, that you made a choice that in your eyes was the right one, that you've tried something they haven't, that what you've tried is not accepted as the 'right' thing to do. that their impression of it is so thickly clouded with false accusations and reports, that they really have absolutely no solid knowledge or proof of anything actually being so wrong or bad. that the concrete that they seem to base their opinions on is a mere piece of plywood, and they are so brutally wrong in their assumptions that they must now condemn you for having the stomach to try such a trivial aspect of modern life.
personal honesty is possibly the hardest of many journeys to conquer. its not easy to keep within yourself your true values, beliefs and morals, its all subjective but everything is so heavily influenced by the outside world and your peers, that it is truely a hard task to totally be at home with your own perceptions. however, one movement, one chemical, one night can change that.
no longer do you feel so angered by people around you. a person can fall over and you will all laugh about it. you lose the need to sledge your friends and peers, and you feel such harmony in every situation. generosity oozes out of the people around you, and its simply ecstatic.
anyone can talk to anyone. there is no judgement on race, size, age, looks or opinions. there is no class discrimination, and the barriers people erect between themselves and other people for all sorts of reasons are knocked down. its so easy to spark up a conversation with people and interact as though you've been friends for years.
this is the reality that is fantasy. this is the version of life that is twisted til its straight. there are no windy corners with confrontations awaiting you. there are no heavy responsibilities that are a burden on your lifestyle, there are no institutions that you need to rely on, there are no commitments to systems you dislike.
The dancing the moving the pure bliss of being ONE with the music. you stare up towards the lasers and lights and you hear the music, the separated sounds, the bass, the symble, the melody, the rhythm, the distortion... everything is together but apart, you can focus on every sound individually and dance to it... movement is utter heaven... you dance like nobody's watching and you just hear the music and watch your glowsticks move. nothing has ever passsed for a better time. the sweat builds and runs, your chest tenses, your eyes blur, your temperature rises, you pick up the drink and feel the cold liquid run down your throat... then back to the rhythm, the music. you drop your drink and stare at the lights. you lift your arms, glowies in hands and start the movement. slow up and down motions, a few circles every once and a while, building speed slowly... your feet begin to move, back and forth, in and out, occassoinal jumps... you pulse quickens as does the bass. you movements speed up and up and up until at full pace. you are in control and you feel the music passing through your body keeping your arms and feet up at a steady pace. you are one with the music and you are loving it.
give me one good reason not to give in to temptations.
------------------
something kind of sad about the way, things have come to be, desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety?
~Maynard James Keenan; Tool.
---
The world is fucked up. Why not get fucked up too?
this is about escaping what you are - to release who you are. this is about getting away from the frightening reality that exists everytime you walk in or out your front door.
the risks involved nearly outway the point to it in the first place. if only it was easy, if only it was legal, if only it was jsut risk free.
drift away from the unbearable part of life that you cant ignore. feel one with the music. feel as though nothing really matters, nothing bothers you, everything is just fine, you dont need to change things or improve things, you dont need to act differently because you are finally at one with yourself and totally truthful in everything you say, you are finally able to say what you want as you wish and actually mean it all. it is a feeling unmatched by un-edited lifestyle, unmatched by normal life, unmatched by anything at all. concentration comes so easily, your mind works as it never has before. your senses are so sensitive, its like a dream to touch people you love, to kiss, to feel that sincere, just, and powerful love passing through their lips as you move your mouth to the rhythm of the pash. to hold hands and be so entirely comforted by the simple notion of having your hands wrapped in theirs. to run with each other and just enjoy doing absolutely anything for no reason at all.
then the realisation that possibly everybody you know is condemning you for being so 'irresponsible', for trying new things, that you made a choice that in your eyes was the right one, that you've tried something they haven't, that what you've tried is not accepted as the 'right' thing to do. that their impression of it is so thickly clouded with false accusations and reports, that they really have absolutely no solid knowledge or proof of anything actually being so wrong or bad. that the concrete that they seem to base their opinions on is a mere piece of plywood, and they are so brutally wrong in their assumptions that they must now condemn you for having the stomach to try such a trivial aspect of modern life.
personal honesty is possibly the hardest of many journeys to conquer. its not easy to keep within yourself your true values, beliefs and morals, its all subjective but everything is so heavily influenced by the outside world and your peers, that it is truely a hard task to totally be at home with your own perceptions. however, one movement, one chemical, one night can change that.
no longer do you feel so angered by people around you. a person can fall over and you will all laugh about it. you lose the need to sledge your friends and peers, and you feel such harmony in every situation. generosity oozes out of the people around you, and its simply ecstatic.
anyone can talk to anyone. there is no judgement on race, size, age, looks or opinions. there is no class discrimination, and the barriers people erect between themselves and other people for all sorts of reasons are knocked down. its so easy to spark up a conversation with people and interact as though you've been friends for years.
this is the reality that is fantasy. this is the version of life that is twisted til its straight. there are no windy corners with confrontations awaiting you. there are no heavy responsibilities that are a burden on your lifestyle, there are no institutions that you need to rely on, there are no commitments to systems you dislike.
The dancing the moving the pure bliss of being ONE with the music. you stare up towards the lasers and lights and you hear the music, the separated sounds, the bass, the symble, the melody, the rhythm, the distortion... everything is together but apart, you can focus on every sound individually and dance to it... movement is utter heaven... you dance like nobody's watching and you just hear the music and watch your glowsticks move. nothing has ever passsed for a better time. the sweat builds and runs, your chest tenses, your eyes blur, your temperature rises, you pick up the drink and feel the cold liquid run down your throat... then back to the rhythm, the music. you drop your drink and stare at the lights. you lift your arms, glowies in hands and start the movement. slow up and down motions, a few circles every once and a while, building speed slowly... your feet begin to move, back and forth, in and out, occassoinal jumps... you pulse quickens as does the bass. you movements speed up and up and up until at full pace. you are in control and you feel the music passing through your body keeping your arms and feet up at a steady pace. you are one with the music and you are loving it.
give me one good reason not to give in to temptations.
------------------
something kind of sad about the way, things have come to be, desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety?
~Maynard James Keenan; Tool.
---
The world is fucked up. Why not get fucked up too?
