I'm not going to start that talk of mine "this is not a flunitrazepam 'pal'...". With no tolerance 30mg should be relaxing, otherwise it's useless.
ugh. ok.. my anxiety disorder is now over powering my medication. im still taking the clonazepam and alprazolam along with it but some days just clonazepam; I decided the cymbalta was better to just not get involved in as it would be another addiction id be stuck with.
So my problem is that these anxiety attacks disrupt my life and even with the medication; My doctor however seems to be very skeptical, he is under the opinion that I dont truly need this and I am faking these problems to get this med. however my life is in shambles, im falling apart I couldnt even fall asleep, eat or interact with people let alone function at my job. So its to the point I've lost my job because of these constant panic attacks and my doctor does not want to increase my dosage. What the heck should I do ? I dont want to wake up in the morning anymore at this point... recommendations anybody???
Your doctor is certainly right in one thing - you shouldn't increase increase your dosage. Temazepam was actually the first benzodiazepine I've taken and I wasn't even 14 at that time. Now almost 7 years have passed. I did every benzodiazepine available in my country, did ones from a neighboring country. Imagine I'm now fucking totally addicted to this. I got stuck with lorazepam, I could take over one pack throughout one day (one is 62,5mg to be exact, 2,5mg x 25). Finally, I found a good doctor from public service. Started prescribing me lorazepam but its action seemed to be shorter and shorter. Earlier I had gotten lorazepam, estazolam, lormetazepam, and random ones used for panic attacks from a family doctor for different people, gotten phenazepam from abroad and gotten above mentioned by other means from pharmacies (no, I didn't rob them).
Anyway, there was a time I left the city with my normally gotten lorazepam. But I ran out of it. I started taking clonazepam on a regular basis. When I got back, I talked to my doctor and I was switched to clonazepam ([the doctor] wasn't happy to do this but I can imagine look on that face if I told I'd used opioids for not shorter). Anyway, I thought I knew better and I guess I knew. It was easier to taper down with clonazepam and it's impossible to taper down with lorazepam. Clonazepam never gave me any high, even before. My opinion on this one is that it's good for acute panic attacks and some chronic disorders needing muscle relaxing or anticonvulsant action (meaning sciatic neuralgia can be treated with tetrazepam if with any benzodiazepine at all).
Trust me it isn't a great feeling shaking when you find yourself in a situation when you don't have enough of this shit to get you chill out.
I would advise some serious psychotherapy not some bla-bla-bla, "take your money and good-bye". Panic attacks are controlled with different medicines, they may have unpleasant side effects at the beginning but it goes away and trust me again, nothing is close to benzodiazepine withdrawal.
I don't know if you don't want to get more of these from your doctor, really. You're already addicted to it psychologically (and physically too if you take any dose regularly), you're like "I can't live normally without it, this even doesn't do it for me anymore, I need a higher dose". This is called addiction. Some of those panic attacks may be already caused by benzodiazepine usage. If I were you, if I weren't in deep shit I am, I'd really change my life knowing what could await if I continue doing this and that.
Doctors don't prescribe benzodiazepines anymore just like that. It's widely now how they are addicting so they choose different paths if it's possible. Don't add an addiction to the problems you've got. I don't visit a psychiatrist only because of my addiction, I've been on benzodiazepines and opioids day by day for over 6 years, at 14 I was misdiagnosed, now I know I suffer from BPD. And all this shit sucks. I just got used to it but it's not worth it.