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Telling someone I have HPV -- After sex

He wouldn't have consented had she told him that she had HPV. You're an enabler.
 
In reality though, many people dislike condoms, dental dams, etc. I'm not debating the reasoning behind their use. They simply take a lot of the "fun" out of the skin on skin experience.
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Me too, but like I said, "valued sex over is health" I tell you, I value having no kids or child support way more than all the sex I've had or missed out on
@beamers Just cause I wish them well , I'm not encouraging either of them. Hopefully, now he'll never make a decision to have safe/no sex based solely on what his partner says, and she'll disclose possible dangers to her partners.
 
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shahab6 said:
Why is he taking HIV prophylactic meds?? Is he paranoid that you have HIV?
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Yes he is paranoid.

I just got back from HIV ed. Got my Negative status! (A big deal and a relief because of some dumb choices 10 months ago.)

Haven't told him yet. I'm just gonna wait and let him ask me about it.

A more laid-back approach seems appropriate here.
 
In the nicest way possible that was not a nice thing to do. If I was you I would be happy he had the reaction that he had... His reaction could have been alot better or alot worse. I think I saw that you said from now on you are going to be upfront so congratulations on wanting to do the right thing.

I had a girl send me a card from a clinic before saying I had been exposed to someone with chlamydia (her). With it was a letter saying how she knew she had it when we fucked, and basically that she thought it was funny. I talked to her about it she said it was serious, no bullshit. Went through all kinds of anxiety panic attacks etc. wondering what else I could have had to find a fucking clinic to go to get treated even though I come up negative. Talked to her about being negative she said it was all a lie. Her friend was the one who had it and got a bunch of the cards to send out to the people she was in contact with.

I ran into her on the street a couple months later she started making jokes about it and I completely lost it and beat the shit out of her. Cost me six months still haven't decided if it was worth it although I am leaning towards yes. :|

Edit* Just to add a little bit of context I have been with my wife for a long time and I have never laid a finger on her and I never will.

TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO FLAME ME FOR BEATING UP THE GIRL I DONT GIVE A SHIT. SHE PUT ME THROUGH HELL FOR NO REASON AND I EVEN TOOK MEDICATION THAT WAS UNNECESSARY
 
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Update.

10 months ago I had an unfortunate encounter - not informing my partner of my status - it backfired - and I was left feeling like a failure of the human race. We all have the right to know what we might be facing when having sex. Sex is a beautiful thing but unfortunately there is this entire other "layer" we need to deal with directly. I am a huge advocate for pre-sex conversations.

Since this time I have changed my ways. I encourage all of you to commit to having pre-sex conversations every time, no matter what. If you don't have the conversation in the sexy moment but via text, it is the best way. Everyone feels better and really appreciates the human aspect of caring for one another. You can open the conversation by talking about the last time you got checked for HIV... tell him/her that it's easy to get same-visit results if you just ask... tell him/her your negative/positive status and if you have had any recent risks (new partner/potential exposure in the last 3-6 months). Then ask if he/she has had any problems ever? This is a good time to discuss past issues you have had; it helps the other person feel free to tell the truth.

For example, I recently did this with my NYE date. I told him that I had HPV in the past but nothing has shown up since I ended treatment last June. A day later, I texted him to give him an unfortunate update... I said that I went to my OB to get condoms and get checked "just to be sure" and she found 2 small warts, which she treated, and they are still healing. I told him I wanted him to know because I never got the chance to. He was really grateful for my honesty, and was very cool about it. We are grown-ups, right? So he said, that's great we can just catch up and we don't have to have genital contact. It will be nice to see you again. So we did. He just left. We spent all night in bed rolling around in our dopamine but no sex. It was enjoyable, and we connected more with our minds than our bodies, which I appreciate at this point in my life.

This stuff is serious and it doesn't help anyone to not discuss these things. Elephant in the room, anyone?

We need to be the change we wish to see in the world :) I felt so proud of myself. Thanks to this thread and some public shaming I committed to not being that person anymore who lies by omission. Thanks BL. What are your experiences in pre-sex conversations?
 
ihatepipes said:
In the nicest way possible that was not a nice thing to do. If I was you I would be happy he had the reaction that he had... His reaction could have been alot better or alot worse. I think I saw that you said from now on you are going to be upfront so congratulations on wanting to do the right thing.

I had a girl send me a card from a clinic before saying I had been exposed to someone with chlamydia (her). With it was a letter saying how she knew she had it when we fucked, and basically that she thought it was funny. I talked to her about it she said it was serious, no bullshit. Went through all kinds of anxiety panic attacks etc. wondering what else I could have had to find a fucking clinic to go to get treated even though I come up negative. Talked to her about being negative she said it was all a lie. Her friend was the one who had it and got a bunch of the cards to send out to the people she was in contact with.

I ran into her on the street a couple months later she started making jokes about it and I completely lost it and beat the shit out of her. Cost me six months still haven't decided if it was worth it although I am leaning towards yes. :|

Edit* Just to add a little bit of context I have been with my wife for a long time and I have never laid a finger on her and I never will.

TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO FLAME ME FOR BEATING UP THE GIRL I DONT GIVE A SHIT. SHE PUT ME THROUGH HELL FOR NO REASON AND I EVEN TOOK MEDICATION THAT WAS UNNECESSARY
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Whoa, what? Really?
 
Cohesion said:
Update.

10 months ago I had an unfortunate encounter - not informing my partner of my status - it backfired - and I was left feeling like a failure of the human race. We all have the right to know what we might be facing when having sex. Sex is a beautiful thing but unfortunately there is this entire other "layer" we need to deal with directly. I am a huge advocate for pre-sex conversations.

Since this time I have changed my ways. I encourage all of you to commit to having pre-sex conversations every time, no matter what. If you don't have the conversation in the sexy moment but via text, it is the best way. Everyone feels better and really appreciates the human aspect of caring for one another. You can open the conversation by talking about the last time you got checked for HIV... tell him/her that it's easy to get same-visit results if you just ask... tell him/her your negative/positive status and if you have had any recent risks (new partner/potential exposure in the last 3-6 months). Then ask if he/she has had any problems ever? This is a good time to discuss past issues you have had; it helps the other person feel free to tell the truth.

For example, I recently did this with my NYE date. I told him that I had HPV in the past but nothing has shown up since I ended treatment last June. A day later, I texted him to give him an unfortunate update... I said that I went to my OB to get condoms and get checked "just to be sure" and she found 2 small warts, which she treated, and they are still healing. I told him I wanted him to know because I never got the chance to. He was really grateful for my honesty, and was very cool about it. We are grown-ups, right? So he said, that's great we can just catch up and we don't have to have genital contact. It will be nice to see you again. So we did. He just left. We spent all night in bed rolling around in our dopamine but no sex. It was enjoyable, and we connected more with our minds than our bodies, which I appreciate at this point in my life.

This stuff is serious and it doesn't help anyone to not discuss these things. Elephant in the room, anyone?

We need to be the change we wish to see in the world :) I felt so proud of myself. Thanks to this thread and some public shaming I committed to not being that person anymore who lies by omission. Thanks BL. What are your experiences in pre-sex conversations?
Click to expand...
i like your pre-sex convo idea, i have hep c and i have always considered it mandatory to let people know before having sex but i have to admit that the first time i had sex with my current girlfriend i was fucked up and didnt tell her, now we have been together ever since and i did tell her very shortly after but it was still totally wrong imo. i rationalized it in my mind by saying that hep-c is very unlikely to be spread by sex(which is kinda true, as long as there is no blood to blood contact)and she also said that she was willing to take the risk absolutely, we also were injecting lots of methamphetamine at the time so we were uber horny and quick to rationalize unprotected sex. we have now been together going on 3 years and she doesnt have hepatitis, i have cleared the virus out of my system with just healthy living so that i only test positive for the anti-bodies not the virus and life is good, we still have unprotected sex too...but in our case the mutual oral action is where its at! no but congrats on the decision to do right in this manner, the best of luck to you! -justin
 
I think it's absolutely mandatory to inform someone you're going to have sex with if you've got any STDs. However, if you forget (accidentally or not) to say it I think for some, like gonorrhea or chlamydia, there really isn't much of a point in making a big deal out of it...for more obvious ones it's considerably more serious.
 
IF you reckon it was justified there is something serrriously wrong with you...you are in denial that it was YOUR FAULT.
ihatepipes said:
In the nicest way possible that was not a nice thing to do. If I was you I would be happy he had the reaction that he had... His reaction could have been alot better or alot worse. I think I saw that you said from now on you are going to be upfront so congratulations on wanting to do the right thing.

I had a girl send me a card from a clinic before saying I had been exposed to someone with chlamydia (her). With it was a letter saying how she knew she had it when we fucked, and basically that she thought it was funny. I talked to her about it she said it was serious, no bullshit. Went through all kinds of anxiety panic attacks etc. wondering what else I could have had to find a fucking clinic to go to get treated even though I come up negative. Talked to her about being negative she said it was all a lie. Her friend was the one who had it and got a bunch of the cards to send out to the people she was in contact with.

I ran into her on the street a couple months later she started making jokes about it and I completely lost it and beat the shit out of her. Cost me six months still haven't decided if it was worth it although I am leaning towards yes. :|

Edit* Just to add a little bit of context I have been with my wife for a long time and I have never laid a finger on her and I never will.

TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO FLAME ME FOR BEATING UP THE GIRL I DONT GIVE A SHIT. SHE PUT ME THROUGH HELL FOR NO REASON AND I EVEN TOOK MEDICATION THAT WAS UNNECESSARY
Click to expand...
I also got told by a gyal I was seeing that she gave me chlamydia (although she thought I was the one who gave it to HER!)... I got tested and didn't have it, so I just laughed and we carried on fucking after that...she got dosed.

Whatever you did to provoke her to play such a trick on you - you must be a total scumbag...the violence proves this I think.

Cohesion - yeah I know wha gwan wit this one. Not always informed re; the herp - sometimes comes back to bite me in the ass, but that always seems to be the sluts who obviously need to calm themselves down a little. For me an STD is a warning to stop being so carelessly promiscuous. Nothing wrong with being promiscuous if it's not compulsive, but serrriously a warning from universe to think a little more or trust your intuition, or deductive skills based on what info they have given you about their sexual past. Can't go far wrong.
 
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