Tell me about your benzo expierience
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My best experiences have been calm, euphoric, and very social. My best experiences have also been relief from the symptoms that caused me to need benzos.
My worst experiences have been around sleep. This means either getting too tired when I want to be social or not getting tired enough when trying to get to sleep.
My worst experiences have been around sleep. This means either getting too tired when I want to be social or not getting tired enough when trying to get to sleep.
my best experiences would be being able to open up to people i normally wouldnt. making work go by faster, and having an escape to depend on whenever the smallest thing didnt go my way.
my worst experiences include and are not limited to...
-making an ass out of myself
-being an ass
-blacking out and being taken advantage of (sexually and fiscally)
-losing stuff
-crashing my car
-missing work
-oh and lets not forget withdrawals
yes, this may seem harsh, even tho im just trying to be honest. if theres one piece of advice i can honestly give people who enjoy getting high, is to stay as far away from benzos as you possibly can. they will sneak up and ruin your life, embarass the shit out of you, and put you in the hospital, or worse.
ONLY USE BENZOS IF YOU ARE TRYING TO AVOID A STIMULANT CRASH. THEY ARE THE DEVILS FIRE. (pm me if you want to know more, i dont mind sharing my benzo stories.
One time my brother and roomate, talked me into taking them to the 24 hour coney island when i was plastered on xanax. i couldnt have told you how i got there, what i had to eat, who i was with, or anything of that trip, and i have one of the best memories of everyone i know. there is no drug that will sneak up behind you and fuck you over like a benzo will.
DROP ACID NOT BENZOS!
my worst experiences include and are not limited to...
-making an ass out of myself
-being an ass
-blacking out and being taken advantage of (sexually and fiscally)
-losing stuff
-crashing my car
-missing work
-oh and lets not forget withdrawals
yes, this may seem harsh, even tho im just trying to be honest. if theres one piece of advice i can honestly give people who enjoy getting high, is to stay as far away from benzos as you possibly can. they will sneak up and ruin your life, embarass the shit out of you, and put you in the hospital, or worse.
ONLY USE BENZOS IF YOU ARE TRYING TO AVOID A STIMULANT CRASH. THEY ARE THE DEVILS FIRE. (pm me if you want to know more, i dont mind sharing my benzo stories.
One time my brother and roomate, talked me into taking them to the 24 hour coney island when i was plastered on xanax. i couldnt have told you how i got there, what i had to eat, who i was with, or anything of that trip, and i have one of the best memories of everyone i know. there is no drug that will sneak up behind you and fuck you over like a benzo will.
DROP ACID NOT BENZOS!
RobotRipping
Bluelighter
i've had lots of fun, using walls to prop myself up while walking, passing out in my food, laughing while playing video games and having no coordination, being an arrogant asshole to people, making friends i otherwise never would have.
one time i was moving a bed into my apartment while really high on phenazepam and i shit my pants lol.
i've also lost jobs, did some weird embarrassing shit, had to take about a year to recover from the withdrawals, blew 7 grand in credit, ruined my whole computer and bought new parts only to ruin them again. Ruined a lot of my clothes from dropping drinks all over them. Lost 3 teeth, got some new scars. Now it's been almost a full year since i tapered off daily benzos and i'm just starting to get my life back together. And it's still so incredibly easy to slip up and i contemplate going back to daily benzos on a regular basis.
one time i was moving a bed into my apartment while really high on phenazepam and i shit my pants lol.
i've also lost jobs, did some weird embarrassing shit, had to take about a year to recover from the withdrawals, blew 7 grand in credit, ruined my whole computer and bought new parts only to ruin them again. Ruined a lot of my clothes from dropping drinks all over them. Lost 3 teeth, got some new scars. Now it's been almost a full year since i tapered off daily benzos and i'm just starting to get my life back together. And it's still so incredibly easy to slip up and i contemplate going back to daily benzos on a regular basis.
thankfully i was too blacked out to recall my most embarassing moments, Lol... but id have to say to this day, when i think back on it, what i still feel most regretful and ashamed of was calling people in my phone at 5am in the morning on work day/nights. the one that sticks out the most is, my cannabis dealer at the time was in a rough spot with his girl and she always had really liked me for some reason. anyways, i called her at 5am before, hopefully not more than once, but i have no clue what i said. couldnt have been good, Lol. i had a friend call me out of the blue telling me if i dont cut the shit out, hes done talkin to me. i guess i called him up at 6 or 7am asking him if he could get me more blue footballs. the ironic thing is thats when i decided to stop, and i stopped cold turkey. this MAY have been do able without having seizures but i was using ultram along side my benzos to get the potentiated effects. i found out recently ultram lowers your seizure threshold....so looking back, i prolly wouldnt have had those 2 seizures and lost my drivers license for 6 months, if i hadnt been mixing ultram with benzos.
^robot, i want to encourage you to just stay positive and benzo free. it will get to a point where you dont miss them hardly at all. your brain will rationalize how much problems they caused and deter, im hoping (it did for me). its a major hurdle to clear, but once you do youll be even better than you were before. when i was 1 year off, anytime id get stressed, id wonder if my stress tolerance was lowered by benzos. almost like im sub consciously trying to give myself a reason why i need them. im glad i can look back and laugh at my benzo binges. faint reminders of why i wont return to using them recreationally, no matter what. i thank God...if i would have hit a little kid, or hurt someone in my blacked out driving rages, i surely wouldnt be able to look back and laugh. that would be forever on my conscience.
^robot, i want to encourage you to just stay positive and benzo free. it will get to a point where you dont miss them hardly at all. your brain will rationalize how much problems they caused and deter, im hoping (it did for me). its a major hurdle to clear, but once you do youll be even better than you were before. when i was 1 year off, anytime id get stressed, id wonder if my stress tolerance was lowered by benzos. almost like im sub consciously trying to give myself a reason why i need them. im glad i can look back and laugh at my benzo binges. faint reminders of why i wont return to using them recreationally, no matter what. i thank God...if i would have hit a little kid, or hurt someone in my blacked out driving rages, i surely wouldnt be able to look back and laugh. that would be forever on my conscience.
Where Wolf?
Bluelighter
Good experiences: only way back when, really, using benzos on an occasional basis to either put an end to stimulant comedowns or potentiate fairly low-dose/mild opiates.
Bad experiences: 2 years of addiction, peaking at insane binge doses (I won't even post the numbers, it was that dumb and pointless), blackouts and hallucinations from taking Lorazepam and smoking strong skunk to come down from three-day speed runs (like full-blown hallucinations - golden glowing Jesus-figure appearing and laughing at me, doubled over with hilarity, while I smoked a bowl and thought wtf? wtf? wtf? Get outta here, man, I'm Jewish too), using too much Xanax and Temazepam to potentiate Oxy, being roughly shaken awake by my mom after I'd nodded out with the door dead-bolted and she had to break a window to get in. Most of all, though, the ongoing headache of tapering and relapsing/binging: right now I'm trying to get down from 40-50mgs diaz to 30, and having had 10mgs this morning, it's over 4 hours till my 20mg nightime dose, which won't knock me out: intense anxiety, thank God I don't have to go anywhere. It's encouraging to read of people getting off and staying off, because unpleasant as a steep taper is (only way I can do it, for financial and other reasons), I'd hate to be on these fucking paradoxical blue discs of rebound anxiety and sleep disruption (with habitual use) much longer. Withdrawal is scary - I used to have a profession, now I'm just in self-imposed rehab - but so is the thought of cognitive deficits from long-term use. Finally, idiosyncratic reactions - irritability, increased anxiety regardless of dosage, and all the other unexpected shit that comes from daily use.
So I'm with Aphex: Benzos have very limited recreational use, IME, and unless taken very infrequently for anxiety or comedowns, are an insidious reptile of a quick slither into addiction that can fuck your life up completely without giving much in return by way of highs. Best avoided completely by those of us prone to addiction, perhaps especially those with a history of heavy drinking: all I want right now, like over-riding any professional or romantic or spiritual aspirations, is to get to a place where I can take my last valium, let the after-effects post-cessation slap me around for as long as they have to, and slowly piece my life back together. I hope I won't experience years of rebound anxiety and insomnia once down to zero...and if I do, that I won't weaken and relapse. This habit/breaking it has come to dominate my daily life almost completely, and I feel depersonalised and the world around me seems frightening and unreal as I drop doses - it's been a total, crippling waste of time and money, and the worst thing is, I knew the risks when I started, but was too depressed to care.
Fuck fucking benzo addiction, it's so easy to fall into and a long hard road to get out. But thanks, Aphex, it's reassuring to hear from someone who's been through this and come out the other side.
Bad experiences: 2 years of addiction, peaking at insane binge doses (I won't even post the numbers, it was that dumb and pointless), blackouts and hallucinations from taking Lorazepam and smoking strong skunk to come down from three-day speed runs (like full-blown hallucinations - golden glowing Jesus-figure appearing and laughing at me, doubled over with hilarity, while I smoked a bowl and thought wtf? wtf? wtf? Get outta here, man, I'm Jewish too), using too much Xanax and Temazepam to potentiate Oxy, being roughly shaken awake by my mom after I'd nodded out with the door dead-bolted and she had to break a window to get in. Most of all, though, the ongoing headache of tapering and relapsing/binging: right now I'm trying to get down from 40-50mgs diaz to 30, and having had 10mgs this morning, it's over 4 hours till my 20mg nightime dose, which won't knock me out: intense anxiety, thank God I don't have to go anywhere. It's encouraging to read of people getting off and staying off, because unpleasant as a steep taper is (only way I can do it, for financial and other reasons), I'd hate to be on these fucking paradoxical blue discs of rebound anxiety and sleep disruption (with habitual use) much longer. Withdrawal is scary - I used to have a profession, now I'm just in self-imposed rehab - but so is the thought of cognitive deficits from long-term use. Finally, idiosyncratic reactions - irritability, increased anxiety regardless of dosage, and all the other unexpected shit that comes from daily use.
So I'm with Aphex: Benzos have very limited recreational use, IME, and unless taken very infrequently for anxiety or comedowns, are an insidious reptile of a quick slither into addiction that can fuck your life up completely without giving much in return by way of highs. Best avoided completely by those of us prone to addiction, perhaps especially those with a history of heavy drinking: all I want right now, like over-riding any professional or romantic or spiritual aspirations, is to get to a place where I can take my last valium, let the after-effects post-cessation slap me around for as long as they have to, and slowly piece my life back together. I hope I won't experience years of rebound anxiety and insomnia once down to zero...and if I do, that I won't weaken and relapse. This habit/breaking it has come to dominate my daily life almost completely, and I feel depersonalised and the world around me seems frightening and unreal as I drop doses - it's been a total, crippling waste of time and money, and the worst thing is, I knew the risks when I started, but was too depressed to care.
Fuck fucking benzo addiction, it's so easy to fall into and a long hard road to get out. But thanks, Aphex, it's reassuring to hear from someone who's been through this and come out the other side.
dnb2012
Bluelighter
My first experience on benzo's was brilliant! It made really relax and comfy. I chilled out on my bed feeling like I am beyond cloud 9 
I can understand why are addictive buy touch wood I not go down that road.
I havnt really had any bad expericences as i havnt had many off them and fortunately the ones i have got are good
I can understand why are addictive buy touch wood I not go down that road.I havnt really had any bad expericences as i havnt had many off them and fortunately the ones i have got are good
Best experiences:
*Taking 30 - 60 mg of diazepam and getting this wild crazy feeling of my thougts rushing at me from all directions and my head floatng as if it was on a cloud with my mind absorbing the fog,
*Taking a little xanax durimg and feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders.
*Mixing 'em with alcohol and lusing em for hangovrs.
WOrst exprencs:
*WITHDRAWAL - worst experience ever, lost 3 years of my life.
*Taking 30 - 60 mg of diazepam and getting this wild crazy feeling of my thougts rushing at me from all directions and my head floatng as if it was on a cloud with my mind absorbing the fog,
*Taking a little xanax durimg and feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders.
*Mixing 'em with alcohol and lusing em for hangovrs.
WOrst exprencs:
*WITHDRAWAL - worst experience ever, lost 3 years of my life.
tricomb
Bluelight Crew
Therapeutic Value? Plenty, but these drugs are not prescribed correctly, as in, they're prescribed too often in the long-term despite the explicit indications written on the package insert.
Only some people require long-term benzodiazepine therapy, not everyone.
Only some people require long-term benzodiazepine therapy, not everyone.
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Bluefrogger
Bluelighter
My experience with Benzo's:
going through the worst and most stressfull time in my life +
major chronic pain for years +
over doing prescribed Benzo's = nothing but huge problems and terrible withdrawal!
I made big mistakes on the stuff and didn't know what was happening to my life for 6 months!
They arn't worth it! I wont judge anyone, but now i say "Don't use and ya won't abuse!"
going through the worst and most stressfull time in my life +
major chronic pain for years +
over doing prescribed Benzo's = nothing but huge problems and terrible withdrawal!
I made big mistakes on the stuff and didn't know what was happening to my life for 6 months!
They arn't worth it! I wont judge anyone, but now i say "Don't use and ya won't abuse!"
tricomb
Bluelight Crew
Im moving this to DC
Pill2Chill
Bluelight Crew
Nothing but positive experiences. Until I decided I wanted to quit. 
smokemctoke420
Bluelighter
good: feeling good, potenating opiates, no anxiety
bad: losing my job, making an ass out of myself, and just not remembering anything ever
there good if you dont have many so you cant redose
bad: losing my job, making an ass out of myself, and just not remembering anything ever
there good if you dont have many so you cant redose
One thing I wanted to mention in my first post but forgot. Benzos can be very enjoyable (and addictive both psychologically and physically) despite not being particularly euphoric. Why am I bringing this up? Because I have seen many people claim that since benzos are not euphoric, they are not recreational and this just isnt true. A drug can be HIGHLY euphoric, like cocaine and yet that doesn't necessarily mean everyone will ENJOY it as much as valium. I know I have had much better nights relaxing in front of the TV on a few valium, just feeling like I am in a perfect state of relaxation without a care in the world, then a night on cocaine, feeling good for few minutes, then wanting more, then trying not to do more so I can save siome for the next day, then giving in and doing it, then not being able to sleep, etc. So a drug can be quite addictive without necessarily being highly euphoric.
Pill2Chill
Bluelight Crew
Not necessarily true, I went to work on doses of 300mg diazepam + tramadol + oxy in the past and I still did a good job.
Friggin benzos. I haven't really experienced black outs, just some difficulty placing all the events that happened during that period of time in the right chronological order, if that makes any sense.
Also, after taking those huge doses I wouldn't even sleep longer than I do when I'm sober. (Like 8 hours each night, 10 max.) When I gave a friend 12mg bromazepam & 10mg diazepam he was K.O. for like 20 hours, haha. Another friend needed a little more but he was a daily benzo user too. Though he would also be K.O. for 20 hours or more (hes a sleepy head, lol) after a night of taking benzos & opiates with me.
Glad I'm almost rid of the stuff though. But damn the withdrawals are hellish, this is the first time I got some relief since I started tapering about 2 weeks ago. Being dependant on benzos is a real bitch, for a long time I didn't go out the door without having some valium or some other benzos on me.
I've been prescribed 3 different benzo's for more than 10 years but I NEVER take them more than a few days in a row and have NEVER abused them. They're powerful drugs and should be treated as such, especially by those who need the therapatic value of them. After all those years I'm still at a "starter" dose of .25 or .5mg of alprazolam or 15mg of clorazepate to help manage my anxiety, depending on the situation. People who need this class of medication should be educated by their doctor (and their doctor should be educated) how they work rather than just read the package insert.
People shouldn't be getting 90 2mg alprazolam pills/month to manage anxiety, those are just accidents waiting to happen. But it's not because your story is gruesome that others can't manage their intake of benzo's. Yes, there are other ways to ease anxiety and panic attacks but I've been trying for 10+ years... I would go outside even less than I do now if I wasn't able to take my medication as needed. I don't take them to get "high", I take them to feel less anxious to actually be like a semi-normal person. I can honestly say I never made any big mistakes, ate a bunch of benzo's because I blacked out, was taken advantage of, etc... while taking my medication.
tricomb
Bluelight Crew
I've also been taking them for 10+ years and am prescribed a few strong benzodiazepines. I wasn't trying to demonize benzodiazepines, this thread is about users individual subjective experiences.
You don't need to defend your use of benzodiazepines to me, I have nothing against them being prescribed long-term for those who genuinely need it, for otherwise debilitating anxiety or insomnia, etc, as determined on a case by case, patient by patient basis. I include myself in the category where my doctors have all agreed that the benefits far outweigh the risks for long-term use, so I understand that people can take them long-term and be okay. What I meant, was that from what I've seen from doctors prescribing practices, they allow far too many people to take them long-term without trying alternative forms of treatment like diet and exercise. I think that many people are over-prescribed as far as benzodiazepines are concerned, myself included. I'm prescribed an obscene amount of alprazolam but when I take it, I take a fraction of what I'm supposed to take.
During my time on benzodiazepines, I've taken them as-directed and also spent a few years taking obscenely high doses, self-medicating for PTSD. I am very well aware that when I abused the medications, they had a pronounced negative effects, because of the way I used the medication. When I take my benzos these days, it's always for therapeutic reasons and in low-dose, I have incredible respect for these powerful drugs.
So basically, I don't think I ever found benzodiazepines very recreational to begin with, maybe because I started taking therapeutically for a long time without even thinking of abusing it. My DOC has always been opioids though.
You don't need to defend your use of benzodiazepines to me, I have nothing against them being prescribed long-term for those who genuinely need it, for otherwise debilitating anxiety or insomnia, etc, as determined on a case by case, patient by patient basis. I include myself in the category where my doctors have all agreed that the benefits far outweigh the risks for long-term use, so I understand that people can take them long-term and be okay. What I meant, was that from what I've seen from doctors prescribing practices, they allow far too many people to take them long-term without trying alternative forms of treatment like diet and exercise. I think that many people are over-prescribed as far as benzodiazepines are concerned, myself included. I'm prescribed an obscene amount of alprazolam but when I take it, I take a fraction of what I'm supposed to take.
During my time on benzodiazepines, I've taken them as-directed and also spent a few years taking obscenely high doses, self-medicating for PTSD. I am very well aware that when I abused the medications, they had a pronounced negative effects, because of the way I used the medication. When I take my benzos these days, it's always for therapeutic reasons and in low-dose, I have incredible respect for these powerful drugs.
So basically, I don't think I ever found benzodiazepines very recreational to begin with, maybe because I started taking therapeutically for a long time without even thinking of abusing it. My DOC has always been opioids though.
jones-in_J
Bluelighter
My benzo experience in all of its blood pumping excitement glory--
1)took xanax
2)got tired and easily agitated
3)never took a benzo again
1)took xanax
2)got tired and easily agitated
3)never took a benzo again