Opioids teenager and recovering opiate addict

[gotz x dat x dankk]

ok.. so im 15.. i started using opiates when i was 12. i had teeth pulled or some shit i dont really remember and they gave me codeine... ever since then ive been in love. at 14 i went to rehab because my parents demanded i had to or i go to jail because they found out i tried heroin from someone and they found endos in my room.. at this time i was stealing money and stealing stuff to trade for ocs vics percs. what ever i could get my hands on.. i went to rehab for a 7 month program and got out on january 10th of this year... a few weeks ago i got back from vacation and i had to stay with my grandma until my mom came to get me.. so she went outside to smoke and i knew she had vicodin stashed in her room.. and i knew i cant go back to old habits.. and even though all the wds were gone it was still on my mind everyday since i stopped almost a year ago. so i took like 15 and i popped 5. she never found out.. the next day they were all gone. i just snorted all of them and nodded out and slept for like 10 hours. im just worried that ill start that shit up again. any tips? i have been smoking weed and doing dxm ocassionally just to keep my head off of it... i dont want to make my parents life a living hell like i was..

 

[Tryptamino]

i had a similar experience at your age, except mine was with add meds rather than pain pills and that developed into cocaine rather than heroin (although i did like some heroin now and then). im not sure i understand what your question is though. if you want tips to stay off opiates, i can't really help you i'm not much of an opiate guy simply because i can't find any, but the most advice i can give is to just keep yourself busy, i feel the need to do drugs less when im constantly occupied. i only fiend for drugs when im bored.

also (and you dont have to listen to this) if you REALLY want to stay off opiates, dont do any other drugs. they might just make you crave the better high of opiates. but its up to you man.

 

[buttershots21]

I feel for you, both as a mother and a user. Addiction is something that will stay with you for the rest of your life once you have altered the chemicals in your brain by using. The good news is that you are young and not even done developing yet. You have a real chance to beat this and leave it behind you, as much as anyone can leave an addiction to anything behind. The same goes for smoking cigs, drinking booze, or even Monster or RedBull or coffee. Concern for your parents and their feelings is a good thing, use that as a way to fight the urges to use. Hopefully someday in the near future you can make the choice to not use because it's the best thing for you, and not just to spare a loved one anxiety. If you can, and you find yourself sliding, reach out to your parents. They didn't send you to rehab for 7 months because the don't care. They must care very much and I'm sure they would do everything they can to help you through this. Good luck and stay in touch. There are a lot of good, cool, compassionate people on this board who will do their best to help you through this, whatever decision you decide to make.

 

[Swain]

Don;t you ahve to be 18 to be on this forum??

 

[Cane2theLeft]

^ certainly not; we've even had mods that were younger (even currently). There are people under 18 who can use harm reduction information or help getting clean too

This might be better suited for The Dark Side forum where you can get better advice. Other Drugs is more intended for people looking for information on how to reduce the harms of their use rather than how to stop using.

It's absolutely fantastic that you're trying to stay away from this type of behavior. Don't let a minor setback ruin how far you've come. Nearly everyone slips at times during recovery. You now have the choice to define your future either by the slip or how you chose to respond to the slip. Nearly everyone needs help and support to stay away from drugs and almost no one can do it on their own. As long as you are reaching out for support whether it be here, with friends o family, addiction professionals, anonymous groups or elsewhere, the important thing is you are making an effort.

Keep your head up, keep trying to move forward and in time you'll be able to move past this. Take care

 

[Intrinsic man]

^ certainly not; we've even had mods that were younger (even currently). There are people under 18 who can use harm reduction information or help getting clean too

This might be better suited for The Dark Side forum where you can get better advice. Other Drugs is more intended for people looking for information on how to reduce the harms of their use rather than how to stop using.

It's absolutely fantastic that you're trying to stay away from this type of behavior. Don't let a minor setback ruin how far you've come. Nearly everyone slips at times during recovery. You now have the choice to define your future either by the slip or how you chose to respond to the slip. Nearly everyone needs help and support to stay away from drugs and almost no one can do it on their own. As long as you are reaching out for support whether it be here, with friends o family, addiction professionals, anonymous groups or elsewhere, the important thing is you are making an effort.

Keep your head up, keep trying to move forward and in time you'll be able to move past this. Take care

Very good advice. I have some advice, but I'm not sure if it's the best...

I have been recreationaly using opiates for a little over a year now, however I have never become physically addicted to them. The key for me was to only use once a week, take longer breaks if my tolerance goes up, and take even longer breaks if I start to think the urge to use more is becoming overwhelming.

Your situation is different though. You have already been physically addicted to them so I am not sure if using them at all would even potentially be possible... most people say you can't go back to using only a little once you've been addicted. Also, since you are very young and your parents are very involved in your life, getting caught once would bring you back to square one. I think the best thing to do is if you start to think you can't resist the urge to take the opiates from your mom, tell her to hide them. I'm sure she will understand. Tell her that if the temptation is there then that is just a setup for failure. Try and find friends who do not take these drugs, or better yet, any drugs at all. Especially since you are only 15; there is no reason for you to be exposed to drugs on such a level.

If you do decide to start using them again recreationaly, remember what I said about the once a week and the subsequent breaks. That will keep you from becoming physically addicted again. But remember that you are playing with fire if you decide to do this. You have already been addicted to them so the psychological aspect of this situation may prove to be severe.

Good luck to you man. Remember, no one is perfect and you are not a bad person because you have/are using drugs.

 

[Swain]

It is good advice regarding avoiding dependency (though even once a week is nearly pushing it), however, I have to interject. You may be able to sustain a chipping habit like you described, but for the large majority of opiate users, whether your a seasoned user or just starting out, a schedule like that is impossible to keep up.

In the case of the OP, I would not recommend a game plan like that because it gives the idea that he is safe to go back to using, it is as simple as keeping it to once a week. In reality he might be able to do that for a few weeks, or maybe longer, but eventually he will end up right back where he started more than likely in a worse position.

Every addict has rationalized their relapse, usually with crazy reasoning that to anyone but your self would be clearly out of this world. Very few people are able to keep up a chipping habit. Actually I can't think of anyone online or in person that has made a plan regarding some type of moderation with their dope use, and stuck by it never to cross that line they have drawn. And IME, the most successful chippers who appear to keep up a reasonable habit tend to be on some type of maint program such as methadone or buprenorphine. But lets be realistic.. anyone who has battled opiate addiction/dependency is not going to be able to control their use. It's all or nothing. I mean either you want to work toward recovery or you want to convince your self that there must be some way to use heroin even though history tells you exactly what will coem as a result.

And even using once a week can really turn into a hellish grind because the other 6 days that is all you think about. Yes you avoid dependency but you tinker with addiction. Opiates are addictive. Highly addictive. This is not a matter of opinion but proven fact. It is not even a matter of will power at a certain point.. addiction makes you compulsive and irrational. I can't tell the future but speaking for my self and what I have seen repeatedly time after time is that there will come a day when you begin to spiral out of control. After using dope for a long time I can safely say that no matter how much money I had, I would end up wanting to use past my means. One is never enough and one thousand is never too many. That saying rings true to me big time.

Lastly I just wanna say @@@ the OP, you have put a lot of effort into getting clean man.. ok so you took some vic's but that is not the end of the world. All it is is a small blip as long as you do NOT continue using. However bad your problem used to be it will only get worse. I mean he spent 7 months at a rehab, I really feel like it would be a shame if he devised a plan to use even once a month because simply put, that is the addict in you trying to find ANY way to get that dope into you, and once its in, all bets and agreements are off. The drugs make the decisions for you from now on.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

I started young too, kid. I hit up my first rehab at the ripe old age of 13, after overdosing in my middle school bathroom...hah. Yeah, I know..

Shortly after that I tried H—started fixing at 14 when some ass holes way older then me turned me onto the needle, and whamo.. here I am. Go read some of my posts to see how fucked up I am now after over a decade. Hah. That goes for many of us here. You're at a very important cross roads right now in your life..a precipice. You can either decide you want to chase the rabbit down the hole..see how far it goes and how you'll end up, or dump the shit now and go on living an awesome life. I mean, dude..at 15, you're about to get your license, you're still in high school, you should be out chasing tail and drinking on the weekends with your buddies, planning college and the rest of your life..not going to rehab and posting on a site like this.

 

[tricomb]

Seriously, If I could turn back the clock I would. I started abusing benzos and opiates when I was 10. I spent the "prime of my life" high, sick, in jail, in the psych ward, depressed, suicidal, abused, hopeless, sometimes no food to eat, sometimes no place to sleep.

And it all started with hydrocodone, something made me feel better about the abuse and trauma I grew up with, mostly due to sociopathy. I used to be retarded and would snort compounded opiates (but what 10 year old knows better, or even should know better). When I was 12 I discovered morphine, roxis, and all the non-compounded opiates, while harboring a fulltime xanax addiction. By fourteen, I was shooting up, and I was wearing fentanyl patches, not for fun either.

At your age Mr. Scagnattie makes a very valid point, you can continue down the path you're on, and end up being like me one day if you are lucky enough to live, being that person on the internet warning some other child about what they're about to give up on. I could have been making positive connections, meeting people who helped me instead of hurting me. It sounds like your parents care very much, and that's more than everyone can say, you're very lucky not to come from a broken home.

You are being given the opportunity to take your life in two directions.

1) You can say "that won't happen to me, I am different" and continue to chase the high, and continue to do so until you risk losing your sanity, your freedom, any possibility of happiness, your self-respect, your life or any desire to live, the ability to love or be loved, any relationship that matters to you (family, friends, girlfriend), your career, your education, any chance of you raising a happy family of your own one day, your material possessions. You may not fully understand what you need to take care of yourself as you are still young, codependent, and live with your parents. But addiction is usually for life, and in about 3 years you'll be 18 and your parents may say "enough". Do you have what it takes to support your addiction? Do you have what it takes to find food, water, shelter, AND drugs? Drugs are expensive. You cannot steal your mom's prescriptions forever.

Or

2) Make a major lifestyle change, and do what teenage boys are supposed to do. Have fun, chase pussy, go to school, learn to drive, bond with your parents, live life happily with a future ahead of you, possibilities, opportunities. Because If you go with option 1) Your future will be very different. Your only concern will be survival and your next fix.

Listen to us, most of us here on this forum have stood where you stand today and made a choice. The choice we made is obvious. Your parents had higher hopes for you than to die a another statistic.

 

[xHippiexchildx]

Seriously, If I could turn back the clock I would. I started abusing benzos and opiates when I was 10. I spent the "prime of my life" high, sick, in jail, in the psych ward, depressed, suicidal, abused, hopeless, sometimes no food to eat, sometimes no place to sleep.

And it all started with hydrocodone, something made me feel better about the abuse and trauma I grew up with, mostly due to sociopathy. I used to be retarded and would snort compounded opiates (but what 10 year old knows better, or even should know better). When I was 12 I discovered morphine, roxis, and all the non-compounded opiates, while harboring a fulltime xanax addiction. By fourteen, I was shooting up, and I was wearing fentanyl patches, not for fun either.

At your age Mr. Scagnattie makes a very valid point, you can continue down the path you're on, and end up being like me one day if you are lucky enough to live, being that person on the internet warning some other child about what they're about to give up on. I could have been making positive connections, meeting people who helped me instead of hurting me. It sounds like your parents care very much, and that's more than everyone can say, you're very lucky not to come from a broken home.

You are being given the opportunity to take your life in two directions.

1) You can say "that won't happen to me, I am different" and continue to chase the high, and continue to do so until you risk losing your sanity, your freedom, any possibility of happiness, your self-respect, your life or any desire to live, the ability to love or be loved, any relationship that matters to you (family, friends, girlfriend), your career, your education, any chance of you raising a happy family of your own one day, your material possessions. You may not fully understand what you need to take care of yourself as you are still young, codependent, and live with your parents. But addiction is usually for life, and in about 3 years you'll be 18 and your parents may say "enough". Do you have what it takes to support your addiction? Do you have what it takes to find food, water, shelter, AND drugs? Drugs are expensive. You cannot steal your mom's prescriptions forever.

Or

2) Make a major lifestyle change, and do what teenage boys are supposed to do. Have fun, chase pussy, go to school, learn to drive, bond with your parents, live life happily with a future ahead of you, possibilities, opportunities. Because If you go with option 1) Your future will be very different. Your only concern will be survival and your next fix.

Listen to us, most of us here on this forum have stood where you stand today and made a choice. The choice we made is obvious. Your parents had higher hopes for you than to die a another statistic.

All that writing, and yet no useful tips for the poor lad.

OP, You need the support of family and friends. You cannot do this alone. Most addicts never have the ability to quit using by themselves. You need to seek professional help. Going to rehab is one thing, but normally when you get out you are on your own, which is why most people who come out of rehab relapse. That has been proven. Google it.

 

[tricomb]

Excuse me miss, All that writing yet no useful tips for the poor lad?? You added absolutely nothing to this conversation besides telling him to seek professional help, which has already been brought up and even the OP mentioned he just got out of inpatient and look what good that did him.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Hah, I just realized the OP was 7 when I joined Blue Light...hah. Makes me feel old.

 

[tricomb]

xHippieChildxxx, if you have a problem with my advice, feel free to make a valid point in this thread or take the issue up with me via PM. You contributed zero to this thread and I spent a good 15 minutes revisiting the hell and PTSD I've been through in my life to try and sway this young poster from making the wrong decision.

Your post has been unapproved and if you have nothing positive to contribute to this thread besides criticizing my life experience, do not post here.

@Scagnattie, thankyou.

 

[BiggDirty01]

OP, like everyone has said already...I will reiterate in my own way:

The last 5 years of my life have been filled with intoxication, sex and utter insanity. That may sound like a great time to you considering your age, but let me tell you about the downsides:

I have lost nearly all my close friends. We were a click of 3 different graduating classes at a small private school. Like 10 or 12 bros in solidarity and smoking kush and generally living it up sans hard drugs 99% of the time. Once I got hooked on opiates, my personality changed. My friends didn't like being around me. They were constantly embarrassed by my actions and attitude. I was too oblivious and fucked up to notice or care until I found myself at the part/bar/club with like 1 using friend and none of my 'real' friends. After 5 years and various health issues, my life has been stuck in neutral while I've seen my friends move on together with out me, getting jobs, fiancee's and their own homes.

I have strained and or broken the bonds between my family as a consequence of my using.

I have spent unfathomable amounts of money and retirement savings to continue a lavish, unrealistic lifestyle until I had nothing left $.

I have busted my back to the tune of 3 lumbar surgeries because opiates dulled my sense of pain while working out. I am 26 and walk with a cane...

There are so many reasons beyond these that I could mention to try and steer your decision one way or another. All I can say to you is if you make the decision down the wrong path, you may not realize the damage, the hurt, the loss as a result of your using until the day comes where you finally are FORCED to sober up. You will find yourself sitting in a rehab drowning in thoughts of regret, shame and embarrassment.

Drugs are fun; moderation is key. If you already know at 15 you do not have the self control for that kind of lifestyle then do yourself a favor and avoid the pitfall all of us here have experienced. It was fun for a while until it was an exercise in enslavement. Not sure there has ever been a person in history who said "gee I liked being enslaved more than being free"...

Trust me, trust us. Please do not step through that door!

 

[Intrinsic man]

It is good advice regarding avoiding dependency (though even once a week is nearly pushing it), however, I have to interject. You may be able to sustain a chipping habit like you described, but for the large majority of opiate users, whether your a seasoned user or just starting out, a schedule like that is impossible to keep up.

In the case of the OP, I would not recommend a game plan like that because it gives the idea that he is safe to go back to using, it is as simple as keeping it to once a week. In reality he might be able to do that for a few weeks, or maybe longer, but eventually he will end up right back where he started more than likely in a worse position.

Not sure if you read my post before deciding to disagree with it but I made it explicit that going back to recreational use would be like "playing with fire" and since you have already been addicted "the psychological aspect could prove to be severe". I also gave pretty solid advice on how to NOT use recreationaly again. No one is perfect, so in the event that he does have a relapse, I would rather equip him with the knowledge that will keep him out of WD's rather than have him plunge head first back into old habits.

 

[spini4]

Stop before it's too late, I wasted my whole teenage years with opiates. My parents sending me to treatment after treatment untill I was 18... Flash forward and I wish I had those years back not wasting it away in treatment centers. Needless to say I'm still addicted to opiates, what a waste of my teenage years and on.