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Tears

trollin101

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 3, 2000
Messages
129
Location
denver,co usa
Transcending through the very depths of my soul filled with darkness and pain; praying for release from this stifling imprisonment, I have been chained to by my own accord. Taking my delicate physical body to the very limits playing this dangerous game. Sinking into this dark hole of sadness while the fire that burns inside flickers with the hope that life can once again spark that eternal glow. Burning out only to fade away like a shooting star across the night sky. Drifting between a conscious reality and the dark violent sea that consumes. Submitting to the darkness that promises peace. A serene wave of liquid blue envelopes my lamenting cries as I wander through the sands of time. Reaching for the dreams that haunt my world and answer nothing more than the uncertainty that plagues my fate. Outstreached before me my hands frantically seek the comforting grasp to pull me back into the world. Outside myself I watch as I walk through time unnoticed already dead. Inflicting pain so that I might feel more than this comfortably numb existence. Poisoning the very shell that encompasses this exploding energy, this is my life. Little pills that once contained happiness and all the answers to attain a utopian world, powders so white and fluffy taking me to the clouds where nothing matters, so high you just lose sight and fly. And somewhere in-between the journey of life and the unending party that promises to one day bring death, my soul was caught in a numbing world of limbo where life lies stagnant from too many addictions that enticed you with the promise of never-ending beauty. Disillusioned by a fake world created with false emotions leaving you to wake in the morning grasping the gaping hole of emptiness left behind and the insatiable need to escape back in to the comfort and safety of a world that never truly existed. A hunger that rips through the heart as thousands of lost souls come together filling the darkness with the chemicals that transcend them into their elite utopian paradise of immortal life. Only to realize there is no way out as the paradise you once worshiped fades before your very eyes revealing the true black nothingness that has consumed your soul. Bittersweet tears trailing their stain down an unrecognizable face with hollow eyes. Elation, happiness, my utopia is no more than the silent prayer that my frail body will finally succomb to the everlasting peace of deaths wings. So that I may finally be set free, to become a part of everything and nothing all at once.
 
I liked this a lot, very dynamic and has an acid flare to it. I love this kind of writing - a stream of cognition that can take its reader with it through the imagery. With regard to what you said.. about the old self dying, I believe that it is simpler to chage than to do that.. To be born again, one first has to lose his mind and completely give up on life, despise and hate oneself and only be able to live again as a different person. I thought about it and hope i or you or anyone else would not have to go through this



skjalff
 
thank you so much... it was a very painful transition, one I am thankful for, one I would live a thousand times again to get to the beauty I have in my life today, maybe you are right about not dying, but i think we all die in a way it is the cycle of life.
If you liked this one try reading rock bottom. i know it's long but similar also written during the same transition it is actually what saved my life.
 
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Great piece of writting,,, keep it up ,,,,,, interesting to see what is next.... pain always seems to be a factor of some great work unfortunately!
 
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