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Tearing down the walls to let the light of happiness shine.

E

eidolon

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 13, 2000
Messages
2,369
Location
Atlanta, GA
I posted this is in social, but wanted to make sure it got read by a few more romantics
smile.gif

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I am not sure what type of feedback I am expecting, if any for that matter, but I thought that I had a few things to say.
We have all been hurt before right?
We have all had the distinct pleasure to try and mend a broken heart. Some of us have had to do this many times.
But we continue to go through all the pain and heartache. Why?
I think that there are two different types of people when it comes to relationships.
I think that after a person experiences the pain of a lost love or even a bad break-up they tend to be a bit guarded, myself included. This can happen after just one or it can happen over a long period of time.
I have switched sides.
I know a lot of people that have been hurt. Some worse than others, but it all feels the same. After the constant hurting they tend to build up defense mechanisms. They build an invisible wall up in front of them to keep people from getting to close. Why? If they don’t get too close then no one gets hurt. This logic is understandable. I have been hurt before. Many times as unfortunate as it is. I got tired of it and was pretty content on being alone and keeping everyone at arms length. I wouldn’t shut them out, but something in my head just blocked out any feelings. I would be alone, but at least I wouldn’t have to go through the pain again.
Not anymore!
Why? I guess I had a revelation of sorts.
The longer I keep people from getting close to me, and the long I keep people from really getting to know who I am and what I am all about…I will never be happy.
I want to be happy. NO, fuck that. I need to be happy. I deserve to be happy and so do the rest of you.
It may scare the hell out of you just like it does me. I know the pain hurts and sometimes it hurts so bad that you think that the tears will never dry up, but they do. Happiness could be right in front of your eyes, but if you don’t let them in, you will never know.
All the pain, the hurt, the tears, the anguish…it is unfortunate, but it is going to happen. It is an inevitability in every one’s life. But don’t let that stop you from finally being happy. Just be careful. I know that you have to move on, but that is where you need to be careful. Find your peace. Find your closure with the past before moving onto the future. Especially if you are going to involve another person in that future.
Your true chance at love, devotion, happiness, and unconditional friendship is waiting for you. Let it in. Life is a wonderful and beautiful thing to experience, and it is even better when you have someone to share it with. Hell, life is too short. The pain of a broken heart will heal, don’t give up your faith. The One is out there and they are looking for you too. Find them and find eternal love and happiness.
Let them in.
Thanks
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Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
-=R a n d y=-
 
thank you randy
if you only knew how fitting this was to me...
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Soulfly-
**Proud to be an Official member of the Stuck-Up/8-Up Crew**
"Fuck PLUR! it's all about hardcore ass fucking!!"
"You broke Bean-Geek's car...that's SO fucking un-PLUR!!"
 
*BUMP*
I love it when the truth overcomes the fear
PLURR
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~When darkness thinks that it's outdone me,
I must remember that the greatest love's
inside of me~
 
thank you, thank you, thank you. if you only knew how perfect this is!!!! after having my heart broken too many times to count, i am starting to let myself realize it is all for a reason. it's like, if you never were alone, then you wouldn't know how good it was to be with someone. if you never were scared, you wouldn't know the true joy of comfort. as hard as it is, i am going to try to let myself fall again....
thank you.
peace, love
*jena*
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rollers are beautiful people.
 
randy, words are almost hard to come by after ready this. you are so right, and i'm glad that you have the heart and balls to write something so deep that really makes people think and reflect on their life. you have obviously reflected, maybe too much....maybe not. but i hope that maybe i helped some in that reflection. maybe i made it easier for you to say your feelings, i hope so. but i know that i am glad we met and i got the chance to experience your warm heart.
kim
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If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin...come in, come in...
 
This really hit home for me in a way. I am at the lowest point in my life right now. I have lost almost everything in this world that meant anything to me. I just lost my best friend of 8 years and I feel lost without her. I have been through quite a few relationships recently and have gotten deeply hurt in each and every one of them. I am trying to realize that there is more to life but it is so hard. I actually try to build up a wall around me but I can't seem to do it because I hate being alone and jump at the oppurtunity of being happy with someone. For me, I guess it is all about instant gratification. Sometimes the pain of all I have lost recently disappears for a few minutes or hours but then it always seems to come back to me. The pain is so much that I don't know if it will ever get any easier. I feel like I have lost my world. I really think I do need ot build up a wall around myself for a little while because I have nothing to give anyone right now. I don't even know who I am and I can't make anyone happy if I'm not happy with myself. I just want my life bakc to the way it was but I know that will NEVER be possible because too many bridges have been burnt and it hurts so bad to finally realize that. But life goes on and it can only get better, right?
Thanks for listening to me mope. It seems all I can do lately. My signature really says it all I think.
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Beginnings are usually scary--endings are usually sad--but it's the middle that counts! :)
 
i'm in the midst of building that wall up right now. Id say its about 15ft tall. I'm in a horrible, one-sided relationship that is causing nothing but anguish. I dunno, those words were very nice, and perhaps i'll read em again in a month or two when i'm out of this relationship
frown.gif
 
Eidolon,
You have alot of truth in what you said. It like it is so easy to become jaded and guarded. But it does take alot of work to keep people at arms length. I know I have done it for awhile now.
Lately i been feeling that same that I need to be out there with people and let them in.
I been doing that, slowly and getting to a place to let people in.
This thought process was amazing and wonderful as you wrote it out. I am very impressed.
Your a very Special person and growth is a very wonderful thing.
Love & hugs
Cherub
 
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