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TDS Social thread vs. 2012.1

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I don't think you're beyond fucked up at all. But we're all a little fucked up, especially me. So I feel ya man. Keep your head up <3
 
I'm further into sobriety than you. It's insane. Thanks once again. <3

It's like a dark blanket came over me out of nowhere. There is no stopping it, but I can learn to manage it and have it not worry me or others.
 
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Out of left field, right? Nothing worse than when everything's going great, and then your mind just decides to blindside you like that.

Fortunately, you're not your mind or your emotions, so you can abstract yourself away from such distractions/sabotage.
 
Dexter, I like your image of the dark blanket--in my life I call it the sniper--it is the surprise as well as the totality of the experience. I'm trying to just get better at saying, "oh, you again?" and waiting it out. Hang in there.<3
 
Dex-- the lie being that you're not you're thoughts and emotions? IME it's true. One's deepest self is the little consciousness that observes the thoughts, memories and emotions, and with time and practise you can learn to abstract yourself from them. Not to forget, and not to avoid experience, but to avoid being ruled by them.
 
Cruisin thru, thought it best to be social. Interesting words from you there Dave... thats the kind of stuff that keeps me scratching my head for a bit, need the time and damn sure the practice though i guess:\
Missed out on a few days, nice to see some fimiliar faces!!
 
^trying to cleanup somewhat bad.
kinda hellish last week havnt been online and gettting low on internets... good thing posting here dont take up fuckall outta ur data, thats a plus. Kept sane by cleaning shit and watching movies (tricky balance although one may not think it). Wbu ? Good stuff on makin TDS mod also!! I just noticed.
 
Hey, everybody! <3 I am sending you all love from the state that has decided to just flat out skip winter this year. We have had no rain to speak of and very little cold. Since there is no winter, the spiders have either decided not to die or have died and hatched out again; I don't know which. All I know is that I ended up at the Urgent Care clinic with not one but TWO black widow bites! We have always had them in our garden but in all these years I have never been bitten. Anyway, they are only lethal to infants or the elderly but my arm looks like a football player's, it is so swollen and it hurts like a sonofabitch!

Other than that, I am great.:) How is everybody else?
 
S.M.F.G said:
^trying to cleanup somewhat bad.
kinda hellish last week havnt been online and gettting low on internets... good thing posting here dont take up fuckall outta ur data, thats a plus. Kept sane by cleaning shit and watching movies (tricky balance although one may not think it). Wbu ? Good stuff on makin TDS mod also!! I just noticed.
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Thanks :D Idk not much has been going on, been pretty depressed lately and all this shit has been happening and i've just been filling the time with weed. IT's a cycle im cutting now because i have never spent a day redosing every 2 hours just because i wanted time to pass faster for something that never even got to happen /: Don't go insane on me buddy :p Keep cleaning and watching movies :D
 
Hay guise! Herb, that sounds awful! How long does it take to go down? This is our first year in FL and they talk about the black widows here a lot too. Here is a picture of a spider we found the other day with my hand for comparison it wasn't a widow though. The shrill of horror that came out of my mouth the moment I split it in half with a hoe could be heard for miles.

n4a0lf.jpg
 
^^ Heeheehee I can totally imagine your shrill squeal when you did that =D


herbavore said:
All I know is that I ended up at the Urgent Care clinic with not one but TWO black widow bites! We have always had them in our garden but in all these years I have never been bitten. Anyway, they are only lethal to infants or the elderly but my arm looks like a football player's, it is so swollen and it hurts like a sonofabitch!
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Holy shit herby!!!! That is terrifying! You poor thing :(
I hope your arm feels better as soon as possible <3
 
^We gots those there lil crittters we calls em "red backs" in these parts herby and thats nasty two bites8o
Although i have never been bitten i have heard that it is indeed quite a painfull thing.
I hope it goes down sooner rather than later<3

Bad.... having a grin right now as ive spent many a days doing just what you said to simply pass the time. When it gets there i recon its time for a bit of a break. Sux to hear that ur a bit down, but dont worry although it feels like it at regular times, my mind aint goin anywhere just yet.:)

n3o really hope ur doing ok atm am thinkin of ya <3

Best b off for a bit betta try and have something to eat. Take care folks!
 
Hey. 6 weeks clean.

Ive been better, and been worse. Trying to breath and move slowly but then my thoughts rush away and spin out of control, usually crashing into somehing dark and depressive or paranoid or obsessive. Wich is horrible.

Try to keep busy, doin pushups and listening to positive music. Ive stopped watching movies almost completely. Too restless. Try to read but most of the time my mind wanders off.

Waiting for my partner to call, hoping she still wants to stay with me, but my fucked up self esteem gets in the way soon after we hang up the phone and tells me im not worth shit. Comparing myself to other people she would like much more. Feel shitty and waiting, waiting. For the spring, for my mind to wander back from the fucking mess ive gotten myself into by abusing drugs for halv my life.
 
^^Congrats on the 6 weeks!! You might not think it but finding it inside yourself at such a low point to do things like working out and trying to listen to uplifting music is a big feat. Keep doing it and you will soon convince yourself things are actually getting better. Because they will and they probably are already.
 
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