TDS has me wondering - how does life turn to shit?

[Swimmingdancer]

Most people don't realize the signs that they are getting addicted or that their drug use is getting out of hand or dangerous until it becomes a serious problem or they get physically dependent on something. It is very easy to rationalize it, or some people do realize and they just tell themselves they don't care or that they will stop later. Most people do start off in denial thinking they have it under control or will be able to keep it under control. It is very important to be completely honest with yourself. The main sign that you are headed down a bad road with drugs is when you feel like you have lack of control about your thoughts and behaviours surrounding drugs. For example, using a larger quantity than you had planned or using more frequently than you had planned. Also of course if you are doing really dangerous drugs or mixing drugs that are unsafe to mix, or doing things you regret while on drugs are all bad signs too, although in a slightly different way as they by themselves are not necessarily signs of a growing addiction to a specific drug, just dangerous behaviours. The reasons you take drugs also play a role, if you take them to escape depression or stress etc you are much likely to develop problems than someone who takes them solely for fun, spiritual reasons, out of curiousity, to expand your mind, have new experiences, etc. But it can also start out that way and end up as a coping mechanism, or we can lie to ourselves or not realize the true reasons we are taking them. If you can stay away from hard addictive drugs and are responsible and as safe as possible with the drugs you do take, then those are good steps to avoiding serious problems. Just don't rationalize that it's ok to try heroin "just this once", that rarely stays a one time thing. Stay away from opiates! I would say it's best to avoid methamphetamine (especially smoked, snorted or IV) and cocaine as well. Never inject anything, it's way too dangerous and addictive. And research any drug before you take it so that you know the safe dosage and the effects to expect.

 

[footscrazy]

Please tell me, is this okay?

No it's not ok. You're definitely going to become an addict.

Of course noone can tell you whether it's ok or not. If there was one theme throughout this thread I would say it's that drugs are insidious. Ask yourself, why are you asking us if it's ok? Are you hoping to rationalising your use, hoping everyone will say you're all good, so you can continue getting your enjoyment out of the drugs you're using, with less guilt? Or do you want a concrete reason to stop/cut down, reasoning that before you have that, there's no reason to limit your use, because it's not having any negative effects? Noone can sit here and say that you should definitely stop - only you can fully evaluate whether drugs are a positive or negative experience on your life. Asking perhaps suggests you're not convinced that drugs wont become a problem for you - if that's the case, perhaps you can think of ways to reduce the likelihood of this.

 

[sockpuppet]

The idea that people can casually "experiment" with or recreationally use hard drugs like amphetamines and opioids and disassociatives and not get into trouble is a completely modern and naive one. Pretty much the entire internet nerd drug culture you see all around you is historically unprecedented. Somehow people started misunderstanding "harm reduction" to mean that "a drug is a drug" and that all drugs can be used if the user is sufficiently knowledgeable. This has nothing to do with harm reduction and has no basis in reality.

When I was young everyone knew that opioids and amphetamines and cocaine and disassociatives were profoundly dangerous and addicting. The pharmaceutical industry succeeded in changing public perceptions of drug use to a great degree, and the usual cycles of drug history did the rest. I grew up around an IV heroin epidemic and witnessed cocaine go from a "harmless luxury item" to devastator of whole cities. The reason why hard drug use is so much more prevalent among rural/exurban/suburban young white people today and so much less prevalent among dark skinned people in inner cities is because all of us in the inner cities watched our parents and older brothers and sisters destroy themselves on hard drugs. Most people reading this grew up in eras and places where they did not see that - they instead were exposed to increasingly normalized pharma opioid and amphetamine use and then found themselves in this whole enabling culture of online white nerd polydrug abusers with a similar lack of long term experience.

If you want to be smart - look around and start meeting older people. Can you find many much older people who have taken the drugs you're considering for many years and who still seem okay? If not, it should be a pretty good indication they do not lend themselves to safe, casual use. YMMV and certainly many folks can skirt the flames without getting seriously burned, but there is no way of knowing how it plays out for you until it's too late. My advice is to stick with drugs that cannot for practical purposes injure you should you overdose and which cannot cause serious addictions - that means only cannabis and true psychedelics such as LSD, psilocybin, and mescaline.

And when you ask for advice on a board like this - ask yourself: who is giving me this advice and what basis do they have to give it? If you are being told everything is fine by a very young person who has only been taking drugs for a few years, is enamored/addicted to the drug in question, and who knows a relatively small circle of drug users do you really think they know the long term score?

How does one descend into addiction, and how do they know if they are, and how does one know how to stop it?

1) By using addictive drugs over time, 2) usually when reality slaps them on the face after a long period of denial, 3) they don't - it can be effectively impossible to "stop" for most people once addicted -that's why it's such a bad thing and why all those old people and teachers warned you about drugs -not just because they are killjoys.

Good luck...

 

[herbavore]

The idea that people can casually "experiment" with or recreationally use hard drugs like amphetamines and opioids and disassociatives and not get into trouble is a completely modern and naive one. Somehow people started misunderstanding "harm reduction" to mean that "a drug is a drug" and that all drugs can be used if the user is sufficiently knowledgeable. This has nothing to do with harm reduction and has no basis in reality.




And when you ask for advice on a board like this - ask yourself: who is giving me this advice and what basis do they have to give it? If you are being told everything is fine by a very young person who has only been taking drugs for a few years, is enamored/addicted to the drug in question, and who knows a relatively small circle of drug users do you really think they know the long term score?

This s really good advice, OP, and I would listen very carefully. Some people slide right through. They are the vast minority. Some are caught in lives that make them want to die and some, like my son, die at 21. Think about the risks when you make decisions. Think about your motivation. And even though you are only 18 which is not an age to typically think in terms of the long run, try to force yourself to do that.

 

[Serotonin101]

I was the hook up guy for my friends and sampled everything under the sun. Eventually you will find something that tickles your fancy and its game over. When heroin "fell into my lap" i found the love of my life. Our second date i proposed to my lady heroin and we made love everyday for the next 3 years. Lemme tell ya, divorcing her was no easy task as she left me with nothing and i was hurting badly. Todays celebrates 5 months since we made our divorce official, no reservations of getting back together with her. I still miss the way she made me feel, but i know i cant be with her anymore. Farewell heroin, i gave you my life and you almost didnt let me keep it during our relationship.

 

[Bojangles2.0]

I think one day you just kinda "let go" of life and don't really realize it. It IS somewhat a progression.

For me, I was doing great about 5-6 years ago. I was working, ripped to shreds, going to school, feeling good/looking good... but a part of me never really felt "happy". Was I happy? Yeh I guess. I kinda think abusing speed at such an early age in life left me prone to anxiety or something.

Because even when I was clean for 5 years, and was joking around with people smiling, I still always felt like I was too anxious about things.

I think that slowly drove me to using opiates.
I used opiates for the first year and still worked out, still held a job down, but I started to pick up cigarettes too.

Fast forward a bit, I couldn't work out anymore. I was begining to experience wds as my doses were wearing off, and it was making me
a miserable person.

Eventually I started fighting with my girl, and that ended pretty abrupts. Within the first year of getting on opiates.
I started working less days, and eventually quit my job at the time.

Weird thing is as good a reason I had to quit my job, I never really realized at the time it was the opiates breaking me down.
Soon enough I was jobless, not working out anymore, no gf, smoking mad cigs everyday, I seemed to have lost every bit of
interest in a "normal" life.

I became a hermit addicted to my computer and drugs.

Fast forward another 4-5 years and I said enough is enough. This can easily go on forever, its already caused enough problems
in my life. I've put on weight, I have issues getting up in the morning, but things are finally starting to move forward.

In another month or 2 I'll be off opiates again, but I'm already feeling the emotions rush in.
I'm now begining to realize opiates mess up your life because they cut off the most basic human emotions we have.

The drive to want to have sex, or be with a woman. As a man, sexual frustration always motivated me to work, to succeed, to be proactive,
to wanna prove myself to others. Once I lost my sex drive, I seem to have lost all other motivation in life.

It was weird to notice how they were tied together.
You don't really realize it on opiates, but your brain, your emotions, they're shut off from the world.
Thats what keeps you using imo, because you no longer feel the same anxieties people do. Well only when your in wds.
Everyday you wind in wds and say "I'm stopping this shit today". But you realize you need to get yourself OUT of wds,
so you take more.

Eventually I flipped the switch and said "this isn't rocket science". I'm just not becoming "one of those people" who struggle
for their whole life making excuses.

Drug addiction is not an easy thing to beat, but lets be real, if you want it bad enough, it will come to you.
I've wanted it bad enough for the last 2 years, and my use has gone nowhere but down consistently.

Now I'm getting close to off opiates, and my sex drive came back. Oddly I look in the mirror now and say "your
a fat fucking bastard and need to get back in the gym".

I say a lot of different things now. Its those natural emotions I never had on opiates.
It feels good, it feels scary, all I know is it feels better than being spaced out all the time.

-Bo

 

[Immortal I Stand]

Don't do it man, just don't do the opiates. They're a blessing for pain, but the fucking companies had to make the damn things more mentally and physically addictive than most humans have the ability to tolerate (aka, doing em every once in a while). Swim knows that drugs are something that removes us from this often unpleasant (understatement) reality/life, and how pleasant that removal from all things worldly can be... but my friend, if you open the opiate door, every high you experience will lead to an equally horrible comedown/yearning for what was once only an occasional recreational activity. Keep at the schoolwork man, don't skip classes, make some friends that don't like dope (or even fuckin weed for that matter, ahah, as impossible as that may be these days) and just those few choices will keep you 1)in good university standing and 2) your life in working order. B/c once college is over, the drug scene loses it's glamour. Speaking from recent experience...

 

[Immortal I Stand]

BoJangles-
Heartily agree with your description of opiates and how they strip us of our basic emotional reactions to things. The first year is always great, then comes the tolerance and fuck there goes the sex drive and damn there goes my drive to be anything but numb. 11 days now off the heavy opes, and slowly realizing how to accept the balance in life of both positive and neg. feelings. I hear you about the gym; the only thing that has kept me sane the past few days coming off the shit has been working out and taking prescribed Klonopin.