tasting metal

[wesmdow]

this is a rather personal poem. i am the only person i know who LOVES the taste of metal. i suck on coins (well i did till i figured out how gross they were8) ), and i really get a kick out of chewing up a piece of aluminum foil.

the fact that it makes EVERYONE IVE EVER SHOWN shudder and cringe. maybe thats half the fun.. who knows.

anyway, heres my poem about my friend metal.

to touch tin to the tongue
sharp, cold, solid and sour
but o so sweet.

a shining sheet of foil
crackles, crumples, crunch.
chew.

cool steel
kissing warm gums
conforming; casting molds
of molars.

simple satisfaction.
metal.

 

[(Wordy)]

Sure does make me shudder(!), but that doesn't stop it from being fascinating material for a poem. I think it has heaps of potential.

This part is fantastic, though still a little raw:

kissing warm gums
conforming; casting molds
of molars.

I like the idea of metal having a 'sour' taste too; though it seems obvious in hindsight, I guess I hadn't ever thought of it that way. That's the kind of 'sensory epiphany' that can make poetry such a distinctive experience: it can open up new ways of sensing / feeling / experiencing (parts of) the world.

 

[New]

I could actually feel the bliss pouring out of the poem in it's simplicity and honesty.
It makes me almost want to chew on some metal.

 

[up all night]

Someone once said they liked me because I could describe the taste of blood (that sounds much stranger than it actually was at the time :D). I like things that are a little odd and I love looking at everything in a slightly different light. I have to admit, this did make me want to suck a coin.

 

[Raz]

I like that it's written simply and happy being that way, there's no pretention to it..

I can kind of relate to the metal thing, I have always loved the smell of chlorine....when I was a little kid, my mum used to have to stop me from drinking water out of the swimming pool..

 

[Mehm]

cool poem. I dislike the taste of metal though

 

[kazza_baby]

I love this.

So precise and a little chilling, intriguingly so.