budsnbars712
Bluelighter
So i originally was on 3.0 mg's of xanax a day. I was legally prescribed 2 mg's but would abuse and need to get off the street to get that extra milli a day, sometimes binge up to 5.0 mg's.....I also drank alcohol on xanax at night to increase the effects (I know, it is horrible for you and a mixture that create SEVERE issues). Along with smoking marijuana with I still do daily....I was on xanax for about three years atleast at this point.
I started to taper on April 1 after nearly having a mental breakdown...I binged up to 5 mg's a day before the taper and was drinking on a cruise also for a whole week. So my body probably saw more than the 5 mg's for that week since I was abusing alcohol (alcohol is a multiplier for benzos, correct?) to try and cover up my depression..April 1 I had a panic attack the first day I was home from the vacation probably from tolerance withdrawal. I decided I can no longer live like this and started that taper at 3.0 mg's....just stabilizing on 3.0 mg's a day was hard as I would take random amounts all the time before this. Every week I would lower my dose by .25 for a while. I successfully made it down to 2.0 mg's but OBVIOUSLY was suffering from anxiety because of withdrawal. Once I hit 2.0 mg's it started getting rough.
NOW, I successfully got down to 1.0 mg! I take .25 four times daily....but now I feel like this is getting REALLY tough. I can still tolerate it but I am afraid of what is to come next....I have my birthday next month, and also the birthday of my ex (which shouldn't be a big deal but I still have a big attachment to her). Now i know next month is going to be really rough just in general, let alone with a taper.....
I am unsure on what to do...I started to see a psychologist weekly as I felt I need mental support when I started the taper. He recommended a psychiatrist to see what they wanted to do about my depression, and also maybe help me with the taper....I went to see the psychiatrist, and he told me that I am an addict and need to see a drug councilor... That pissed me off, because I am tapering off of xanax on my own will and I am aware that marijuana fucks my life up...this made me more anxious....
Now I cannot seem to stop thinking about basically everything. I am a huge over-thinker and I dissect any conversation or situation I am in, this is why I was prescribed xanax in the first place. I used to dry heave vomit in the morning before work because of anxiety before I started xanax, and now that is coming back.....this is only day 4 since I was moved from 1.25 to 1.00 mg's, so maybe it will get easier as it usually does, but what if it doesn't...and I know next month will be a battle for me to make it through. My shrink recommended another psychiatrist after I told him what happened with the first. Hopefully he can help me in someway.
Has anyone gotten off of xanax by itself in here? What should I do? This is a battle I can't afford to lose as I was suicidal feeling when I had that panic attack, any thoughts, advice, or words of encouragement would really help me out right about now....THANKS to all!
PS-sorry for making such a long thread, I am ultra anxious right now....
I started to taper on April 1 after nearly having a mental breakdown...I binged up to 5 mg's a day before the taper and was drinking on a cruise also for a whole week. So my body probably saw more than the 5 mg's for that week since I was abusing alcohol (alcohol is a multiplier for benzos, correct?) to try and cover up my depression..April 1 I had a panic attack the first day I was home from the vacation probably from tolerance withdrawal. I decided I can no longer live like this and started that taper at 3.0 mg's....just stabilizing on 3.0 mg's a day was hard as I would take random amounts all the time before this. Every week I would lower my dose by .25 for a while. I successfully made it down to 2.0 mg's but OBVIOUSLY was suffering from anxiety because of withdrawal. Once I hit 2.0 mg's it started getting rough.
NOW, I successfully got down to 1.0 mg! I take .25 four times daily....but now I feel like this is getting REALLY tough. I can still tolerate it but I am afraid of what is to come next....I have my birthday next month, and also the birthday of my ex (which shouldn't be a big deal but I still have a big attachment to her). Now i know next month is going to be really rough just in general, let alone with a taper.....
I am unsure on what to do...I started to see a psychologist weekly as I felt I need mental support when I started the taper. He recommended a psychiatrist to see what they wanted to do about my depression, and also maybe help me with the taper....I went to see the psychiatrist, and he told me that I am an addict and need to see a drug councilor... That pissed me off, because I am tapering off of xanax on my own will and I am aware that marijuana fucks my life up...this made me more anxious....
Now I cannot seem to stop thinking about basically everything. I am a huge over-thinker and I dissect any conversation or situation I am in, this is why I was prescribed xanax in the first place. I used to dry heave vomit in the morning before work because of anxiety before I started xanax, and now that is coming back.....this is only day 4 since I was moved from 1.25 to 1.00 mg's, so maybe it will get easier as it usually does, but what if it doesn't...and I know next month will be a battle for me to make it through. My shrink recommended another psychiatrist after I told him what happened with the first. Hopefully he can help me in someway.
Has anyone gotten off of xanax by itself in here? What should I do? This is a battle I can't afford to lose as I was suicidal feeling when I had that panic attack, any thoughts, advice, or words of encouragement would really help me out right about now....THANKS to all!
PS-sorry for making such a long thread, I am ultra anxious right now....
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